2006

Riding in Cars With Boys*

*There is no particular reason for this title. I have not been riding in cars with boys, although I have, in fact, been watching boys riding in cars: Go Karts, to be specific. Last night was the first of the…

A Long December…

… and there’s reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last… Every December I make it my mission to quote the Counting Crows’ Long December at least once. Sometimes I quote it twice, and last year?…

Bah Humbug – reprise

Well, I’m pleased to announce that the Christmas shopping is complete. Is not wrapped, obviously, and is not NICE, but is at least complete, which is, I think, probably the best that we can hope for here. I’ve somehow managed…

Caught a Light Sneeze

So, had me a couple of days off. I’ve been ill, folks: ill with a horrible fluey thing that would take me in its grips, back off just enough to make me think I was OK, and then descend upon…

A List: Because I’m Lazy

So, I went to the doctor’s on Friday. (Don’t worry, I’m not dying, it was just to change a prescription. No need for cards and flowers, but if you want to send shoes, be my guest). While I was there,…

Bah, Humbug

Well, folks, it’s less than a month until Christmas – let the fun begin! (And by “Let the fun begin” I mean, “Let Terry and I begin hemorrhaging money as we frantically try and stockpile random pieces o’crap gifts for…

Old Skool Amber

Remember that novel I was writing? Yeah, it would be good if I’d actually done that, wouldn’t it? Why, I could be sitting here with a book deal and an agent right now, but instead? Well, instead I’m sitting here…

Haircut 100

So, I got my hair cut today. I’d show you a picture, but actually? You can just look at any one of the pictures on this here blawg, and that’ll give you a pretty good idea what I look like…

Glass Houses, Much?

Remember The Perfect People I whined wrote about last week? Well, it turns out I’m not quite done with them yet. In fact, one of them emailed me this morning. Here’s a perfect example of the kind of thing I…

The Red Weals Are Back In Town

Guess who just got back today? Did you guess, “Them wild-eyed weals that’d been away”? Correct! Damn, but you’re good… Yep, the red weals are back, and their return serves to prove the theory I’ve been nurturing for a few…

A State of Undress

AAARGH the stress, the stress! Make it go away! Actually, I came up with a great technique to create more hours in the day (in which to work like a slave, natch). It’s this: don’t bother getting dressed. Or washed,…

In My Own Domain…

Woo hoo! Got me a domain, people. Got me www.foreveramber.co.uk, so now my blawg is all professional, like. *Snort*

Anyway, now that I have my shiny new domain, I will probably be absent from it for a few days, because I? Am having one hell of a week. Two commissions from The Scotsman (both of them big ‘uns, 15000 words +), three article commissions from my insurance company client, two from my lovely gift site client, plus all of my blogging, all to do by Monday. Guess what I’ll be doing this weekend, then! (Did you guess "Working like a slave, whilst beating off PR people with

A (12 Mile) Walk in the Woods

So, today was the day Terry and I had set aside to try to walk 12 miles in one day. “Hey! I know! Let’s try and walk 12 miles in one day!” said Terry. “You know? That sounds kinda crap,”…

Dressed as Yoda, I Am…

I put a spell on yoos… Yeah, so this is NOT the Rubinman… I know y’all come here specifically to see the Rubinman, but, it’s like, he ain’t here. The Rubinman doesn’t dress up in stupid sissy Yoda clothes, no…

What’s In My Handbag?

If you are one of the many who woke up this morning and thought to yourself, “God, I wish I knew what was inside Amber’s handbag!” I bring glad tidings: your wish has been answered over at The Bag Lady….

A Day in the Life

This post was originally written for the History Matters Campaign, which decreed today, October 17th 2006, National Blog Day, the day on which people all over the world join together in writing a diary of their day, which will then…

I Fought a Sock and The Sock Won

Rubin writes… Ha! I gotchya there, didn’t I? Yes, it’s true that I fought a sock today, sure, but if y’all ACTUALLY BELIEVED that the sock won, well, you don’t know the Rubinman very well, do yoos? Like a sock…

A List. Stop Whining.

Because I am lazy, here’s a quick update on my life and times, in handy list form. Enjoy! The caravan is back. And parked on the pavement, natch. I wish I knew just why it is that this annoys me…

Not So Bowled Over After All

Stand down the vigil, people, I’m still alive… Alive, yes, but also? Annoyed. Remember that bowling night we were supposed to be going to? The one with the ugly shoes and the rolled-up jeans, that I spent A WEEK dreaming…

A Dog’s Life

Rubin writes… GOD. My life is SO hard right now, let me tell you. I’m like, stressed to the MAXX here, you know what I mean? Seriously, I’m “run ragged”. I’m, like, up at 7am every morning to get in…

Spam Title of the Month Award

From: Norbert Allison To: Amber McNaught Title: You offend our chief! I was actually really dissapointed to find that Norbert’s email was actually just the same old pathetic stock market spam I get every day. I hadn’t actually offended his…

Ugg Update

Fashionistas: look away now. What I have to show you here today ain’t pretty, and I mean that literally. So, you remember this entry? In which I wondered aloud and at length about whether or not I should buy a…

A Note….

… to all of the people (the many, many people) who’ve been finding this blog lately after googling some variation of “worried that baby will be ginger” or “chances of having ginger haired baby” or “can I dye my baby’s…

Bowled Over

We’re going to a networking event next month through Business Buzz. It’s a bowling night. I’m not looking forward to it. Oh, it’s not the bowling I object to per se, or, indeed the networking (although it’s true that I’m…

Why Journalists Hate PRs Part 2

Well, because it’s Friday, and because I obviously didn’t learn my lesson the first time I wrote about this, here’s another prime example of Things PRs Do That Annoy Me, hot off the press this morning. (DISCLAIMER: Not all PRs…

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BIG BED

Rubin writes… Oh man, wait till I tell you what I did last night! You will be, like, SO impressed! So, as y’all know, because they are as mad as fish, Amber and Terry like to confine me to Azkaban…

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No One Loves a Red Haired Baby

Hey peeps. Tonight I’d like to talk about how hideously disfigured I am. No, this is not a digging-for-compliments exercise or even a self-indulgent entry focusing on the fascinating subject of how insecure I am about the way I look…

PINK BOWL!

Rubin writes… Oh man, lookit what I got, I gotta PINK BOWL! Now, I know what yoos all are thinkin’. Yoos are all, “OMG he gotta SISSY GIRL BOWL!” Well, shows what yoos know, eh? Yeah, OK, personally I would’ve…

Oops! I Did It Again!

Rubin writes… Yeah, so last night? After we’d got home from my Norma and John’s? I waited till A&T were asleep then I crapped all over my bed. Yes, AGAIN! That’s three beds I’ve ruined this week alone – three…

An Accused (Rubin)Man

Rubin writes… People, I stand before you, an accused man, accused of a crime I… well, OK, I DID commit, but seriously – I’m angry. And trust me, given the wolf blood that runs in my veins, you do NOT…

Putting Your Life Online

Oh dear. I done created a monster. It seems that my post on Why Journalists Hate PRs has been read, in some quarters at least, as an attempt to “diss” the PR profession as a whole – and the horse…

SIN BIN

Rubin writes… This update comes to you live from the “Sin-bin”, where I’ve been remanded in custody by Terry after a day of total and utter BADNESS. First there was the matter of Amber’s flowers. Well. Somehow during the night…

Dogs in Vans = Baaaad Boys

Rubin writes…. We have new people next door. There’s some guy who looks like Harry Potter, and there’s a fat kid who’s scared of me. Hee! I mean, I can’t blame him really – I can be quite terrifying until…

Fresh, minty, Rubiny goodness

Rubin writes… n my time, I’ve often been described as a “dirty dog”. Indeed, there are those who have described me as a “filthy dog”, and still others who have called me a “BAAAAD BOY”, or a “dirty wee b******d”….

The Sheet Incident

Rubin writes… I think if I were to name the worst thing I ever did it would havta be The Sheet Incident. Amber had washed a sheet. It was white and HUGE. She spent HOURS ironing it, and she was…

Red Coat

Rubin writes… She made me wear the red coat. I could not BELIEVE it. Every single winter this happens. Every single winter. (Note: one winter it didn’t happen but, it’s like, who’s counting? Answer: me.) I mean, how many wolves…

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Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad WOLF?*

Rubin writes… Yo, Rubinman in da house. Here’s the thing, though: I’m totally NOT in the house. I haven’t been in the house for TWO WEEKS in fact, and quite frankly, I am NOT amused… Now, I’m not talkin about…

SHOOS

Rubin writes… Just to clarify here : I didn’t know they were Amber’s favourite shoes when I ate them. I didn’t! I thought the last pair I ate were her favourite shoes? Who has two favourite pairs of shoes (Answer:…

HORNS

Rubin writes… So, growed me a set o’ horns. Ya like? (note: there’s still only just one of me, I just gave ya two pictures, so there’s more of me to love) Now, I know what y’all are thinkin. You’re…

PONKY!

Rubin writes… I got a PINK DONKEY. A PONKY! Actually, I’m going to just come clean: I got TWO ponkies, and the reason I got two ponkies was that the first one… well, the first one was an IMPOSTOR Ponky….

FREE Rubin!*

Rubin writes… Dudes, Bob Dylan has wrote a song about me. This is my favourite bit: “Rubin could take a man out with just one punch But he never did like to talk about it all that much. It’s my…

Feet Wheels

Rubin writes… OK, so I hesitate to mention this, but somethin’s been buggin me. It’s Amber. It’s like, sure, she bugs me MOST of the time: take that as read. But lately…oh man… Lately every time we go out for…

Pepeman Go Home

Rubin writes… The Pepe bit Amber. I couldn’t BELIEVE it! “Pepe, man,” I said, “the first rule of fight club is you NEVER bite Amber, for hers is that hand that feeds you.” He was all, “hello, pretty boy!” so…

Rubin from the Block

Rubin writes… Sing it with me: Don’t be fooled by the toys that I got/ I’m still, I’m still Rubin from the block… Hell yeah I am. So, the other night I get back from visiting my Norma and John,…

I’ve Got Something You’ve Not Got

Rubin writes… I’ve got something you’ve not got! I got a PURPLE PUPPET! Man, I bet you’re all totally jealous. No wonder I look smug: (That thing right behind me, by the way? The CAGE? That’s what Amber and Terry…

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Hole

Rubin writes…. So, dug me a hole the other day. It was a great hole, you should’ve seen it – I may be just a little dog, but I dig a mean hole, I really do. So there I am,…

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Hairy Bone

Rubin writes… Ha! Didn’t think you’d see ME again, did you? Ha! Y’all thought the Rubinman was finished. That you’d never see his like again. Well, think again, people! The Rubinman is back, better than ever before, and he is…

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Ikea?

So, on Sunday we went to Ikea to replace Terry’s dead chair, God rest its soul, and also to buy two desks, a filing cabinet, cable-tidiers, two sets of blinds, one of those pull-out trays things for keyboards, and a…

I Shot the Sheriff (Court)*

GOD. I got called for jury duty. My whole life I have dreaded being called for jury duty. Actually, no, that’s a lie. There was a period when I worked in an office where I’d gladly have taken any opportunity…

More blogging for bucks

Hee! How lucky am I? Not only do I get paid to write about TV and fashion, but today I started a brand new gig, writing about my very favourite subject in the world, bar none – shoes! Yes, just…

Weal Watch 2006

Because I know you’re all desperately interested in the ugly-ass weals under my eyes, it gives me great pleasure to announce that they are GONE. Woo hoo, I look like a normal person, by God! I’d like to thank Beth,…

Seeing Red (Weals)

The angry red weals? The ones I’ve had under my eyes for ONE WEEK now? Well, I Googled them, and I found out what’s illin’ me. According to the interweb, I am suffering from “death”. Gee, thanks, Interweb! Love you!…

Water – 10, Amber, nil

Yeah, so the whole water challenge thing? That didn’t work out too good. In fact, I don’t think I’d be exaggerating if I used the phrase "complete, unparalleled failure" here, because I’m looking at the bottle of water now and…

Nil By Mouth

See this bottle of water?* This bottle of water that, OK, you can’t really see anyway, but trust me – it’s there, and by God, it’s a big un? Today, Internet, I invite you to join me as I challenge…

Mind The Gap

Dear Gap, I know you like to use your own freaky sizing system for your clothes, and what a lot of fun that is. When you approach me, though, and ask if I need help with said sizing system, please…

Who knew shoe shopping could be this difficult?

My shoes arrived. Arrived, and will be going right back where they came from tout de suite because as soon as I opened the box (with my heart in my mouth, natch), it was glaringly obvious that they’re just totally…

Britney Spears Done Lost Her Mind

“Time travel…Is, like, that even possible? Cus, it’s like, I feel like some people can do that? And we’re gettin’ left behind?” HUH? HUH? Uh, Britney? Sweetie? It’s time to stop taking the drugs now. Because you’re starting to make…

Ah well, I tried my best…

You know what’s weird? When you order pants (and by "pants" I mean underwear, for the benefit of those of you in the States) from a catalogue or website, and they come on a weeny little pant-sized hanger. WHY? Seriously,…

Fourteen Years Bad Luck

So, Terry isn’t having a great week. In fact, I think he may be cursed. Before I say anything else here I should point out that I? Am a neat-freak. Really. I cannot stand mess. If I’m in a messy…

I live in a house with a white picket fence

We’re having one of those weekend heatwaves we sometimes get. It’s boiling. I’m wearing my shorts and everything. It’s like being on holiday, except I don’t know about you, but when I’m on holiday I generally don’t lock myself in…

My new favourite place

So, you would think I’d have learned by now that drinking wine at lunchtime is not such a good thing, huh? Or, indeed, eating a three course meal, for that matter. Because now it’s 17.31, I’m back at my desk…

Random Displacement Activities

I’m not going to lie to you. There is one reason and one reason only for this post. No wait, there’s two: to kill some time before Neighbours comes on (God, I’m like a student. I’m the girl who never…

Why I Love Working From Home

I’ve been a bad, bad girl. Not only did I sleep way later than I should have done this morning, when I finally did get out of bed, I ate ice cream for breakfast. McDonald’s ice cream. So bad. After…

(MO)T-Day

You may not realise it, but June 15th is a special day, people. Spechul. For one, it is my dad’s birthday, so yay, Happy Birthday, dad! For two, it’s the day my car goes in for its annual MOT, and…

Amber V. Google Adwords – round 2

So, the World Cup, eh. Not a lot of people looking for a copywriter during the world cup, folks – unless, of course, they want a copywriter to write about the World Cup, in which case they’re sure as hell…