I live in a house with a white picket fence
We’re having one of those weekend heatwaves we sometimes get. It’s boiling. I’m wearing my shorts and everything. It’s like being on holiday, except I don’t know about you, but when I’m on holiday I generally don’t lock myself in the dullest room of the house and spend hours ploughing through the Huge Project O’Doom, which is what I’m currently doing. Or not doing, as the case may be. Yay for summer!Just the same as winter, but with sun! Woo hoo!
It’s not all Doom, though. For instance, because we are old, we went to the garden centre yesterday. And bought gardening things. For real. (We also went to the all you can eat Chinese buffet and drank wine, so there is hope for us yet. I think). The main problem with me and gardening is that I hate it. And resent it. It just seems so pointless to spend hours every weekend tending to a garden, only to have to do it all over again the next weekend. The fact that it’s guaranteed to pee down all the intervening week, so you don’t actually get any benefit from the dumb garden just makes it all the worse. I feel like Penelope, weaving her tapestry all day and then unravelling it all night. It is a ceaseless, thankless task, and when we have money? I am SO getting a gardener.
Anyway, the main problem with the garden at the moment is that (Ihateit), being the overgrown wilderness it is, the neighbourhood kids tend to think that it’s not a garden at all, but simply a piece of scrap ground for them to play on, ride their bikes over and use to peer through our windows – THE SWINES. This winds me up something chronic, so during our trip to said garden centre yesterday we bought ourselves some picket fencing which, despite the title of this entry, is not white at all, but is brown. Sorry.
We only got enough to put at the bottom part of the garden (we are poor, so poor), but the idea is that the SWINES will see it, realise that it’s a GARDEN, suckers, and get the hell out. Not sure if this idea will work AT ALL though, as last night, when we were out laying the groundwork for our new fence? The neighbourhood kids all gathered around like we were a campfire and babbled crap at us for so long that I was forced to go back into the house. GOD.
They were drawn to us, it seems, by the presence of Rubin, who was looking mighty cute. As they approached, though, screaming “OMG, lookit the cute poodle!” (*cough*-BICHON-*cough*), the “cute poodle” in question leapt to his feet and started snarling and barking like the scary wolf we all know he is. After we’d gone, the kids told Terry that they have often heard the screams of “BAAAAAD BOOOY! NOOOOO! BAAAAAD!” echoing from our house late at night. Oops.
Anyway. The fence isn’t in situ yet, but when it is, you can be sure I’ll tell you all about it, because that’s how boring I am. In good news, though: I just looked at one of my credit card statements (I normally only do this when I’m drunk, but for some reason I did it this morning, too), and discovered that the account is IN CREDIT to the EXACT AMOUNT OF THE NEW JEANS I WANT!* How cool is that? Free jeans!
* Totally not the exact amount, but what’s £10 amongst friends, really?