August, 2006

Weal Watch 2006

Because I know you’re all desperately interested in the ugly-ass weals under my eyes, it gives me great pleasure to announce that they are GONE. Woo hoo, I look like a normal person, by God! I’d like to thank Beth,…

Seeing Red (Weals)

The angry red weals? The ones I’ve had under my eyes for ONE WEEK now? Well, I Googled them, and I found out what’s illin’ me. According to the interweb, I am suffering from “death”. Gee, thanks, Interweb! Love you!…

Water – 10, Amber, nil

Yeah, so the whole water challenge thing? That didn’t work out too good. In fact, I don’t think I’d be exaggerating if I used the phrase "complete, unparalleled failure" here, because I’m looking at the bottle of water now and…

Nil By Mouth

See this bottle of water?* This bottle of water that, OK, you can’t really see anyway, but trust me – it’s there, and by God, it’s a big un? Today, Internet, I invite you to join me as I challenge…

Mind The Gap

Dear Gap, I know you like to use your own freaky sizing system for your clothes, and what a lot of fun that is. When you approach me, though, and ask if I need help with said sizing system, please…

Who knew shoe shopping could be this difficult?

My shoes arrived. Arrived, and will be going right back where they came from tout de suite because as soon as I opened the box (with my heart in my mouth, natch), it was glaringly obvious that they’re just totally…

Britney Spears Done Lost Her Mind

“Time travel…Is, like, that even possible? Cus, it’s like, I feel like some people can do that? And we’re gettin’ left behind?” HUH? HUH? Uh, Britney? Sweetie? It’s time to stop taking the drugs now. Because you’re starting to make…

Ah well, I tried my best…

You know what’s weird? When you order pants (and by "pants" I mean underwear, for the benefit of those of you in the States) from a catalogue or website, and they come on a weeny little pant-sized hanger. WHY? Seriously,…