You know, I swear my spammers (who I affectionately like to imagine all feverishly working away in one room, doing their damndest to bring me ever more exciting offers, every day of my life), are getting more creative lately. Bless! Witness the following, received this morning:
From: Leslie James
Subject: Please recommend some top quality sites that sell beautiful lingerie
Hello, my name is Leslie James. I am looking for top quality websites where I can buy beautiful lingerie, shoes, perfume and jewelery. Please recommend some top quality websites that sell beautiful lingerie, shoes, perfume and jewelery. Thank you very much.
I am sorry to trouble you, but please recommend a good lingerie website to me if you can. Thank you.
Do you think she’d be interested in hearing about some top quality websites that sell beautiful lingerie, mebbe? Or that she could have mentioned that particular phrase any more times in the space of such a short email?
Then, hot on the heels of the lovely Leslie, guess what I was offered? Only the chance of a lifetime, people!
To: Me again! Lucky, lucky me!
Subject: the chance of a lifetime!
Hello my dear friend
I was looking through the web few weeks ago and found your profile. Now I decided to email you to get to know you better. I am coming to your country ibn few weeks abnd thought may be we can meet each other. I am pretty a looking girl. I am 25. Do not reply to this address directly. Email me back at email@example.com
Gosh, lucky me, eh? What an opportunity. To think that I, Amber, have been given the chance of a lifetime, to meet with my dear friend Elnora. She is pretty! A looking girl! And I don’t know what, exactly, the point of these emails are, but I have a funny feeling that whatever it is, it will involve relieving me of my hard earned cash, somehow. Shame.
I honestly don’t know what I did to deserve the quality of spam I recieve. But I’m starting to think I’d miss it if it stopped.