The Pepe bit Amber. I couldn’t BELIEVE it! “Pepe, man,” I said, “the first rule of fight club is you NEVER bite Amber, for hers is that hand that feeds you.” He was all, “hello, pretty boy!” so I don’t think he was listening. He says that ALL the time, though. I mean, you should see him with Terry! He’s ALL OVER him. Terry’s like, “Where’s my darlin’?” and the Pepe goes, “hello pretty boy!” It’s SICK if you ask me. Then Terry lets the Pepe sit on his shoulder, like he’s some kind of crazy pirate or something. MENTAL.
Speaking of things that are MENTAL, I peed in my bed last week and Amber hit the roof. It wasn’t my fault, though – the Pepe made me do it. He was getting all the attention that was rightfully mine. I just did what I had to do, and by god, I’d do it again!
Anyway, not long after The Biting, the Pepe went away. Now, I’m not sayin that the two incidents were connected, but, like, they totally were!
Buh-bye lubbish Pepeman! We all know you really went away because the Rubinman scared you! Ha!