A List. Stop Whining.
Because I am lazy, here’s a quick update on my life and times, in handy list form. Enjoy!
- The caravan is back. And parked on the pavement, natch. I wish I knew just why it is that this annoys me so much. God knows, Terry doesn’t understand it, and as much as I try to justify it with all kinds of "Well, it’s not safe for the chyyyyldren, because they can’t walk on the pavement! Or see what’s coming round the corner!" I know perfectly well that the little blighters spend all their time either a) playing in the middle of the road or b) playing in my garden, so it can’t really be that, can it? Despite the lack of any reasonable excuse, though, I find myself consumed with anger at the presence of The Caravan on the pavement. WHY?
- I know the last thing any of you want to do is imagine me in my underwear, but I just can’t help but share the news that last week I managed to buy a £230 Agent Provocateur corset from eBay for £46. Or rather, my mum bought it for me, because, weirdly, my mum is all about buying sexy lingerie for her daughter. I should probably point out here that the corset is brand new with tags – I mean, I love a bargain, me, but even I draw the line at used underwear – and is absolutely gorgeous. I got it to wear under my wedding dress, but actually? I think I’ll wear it around the house, too…
- I wonder how many hits I’ll get from Google now, for people searching for "used underwear" and "sexy lingerie"?
- Just speaking of Google, I’m still getting loads of hits every day for the phrase "I’m a stupid asshole with nothing better to worry about than the prospect of having a ginger baby. How will I cope if I ever encounter a real problem?" Gah.
- Also speaking of Google, all you people who are looking for the porn star known as "Absolutely Amber"? I’m not the droid you’re looking for…
- After writing this post at Bridalwave about how I would NEVER, EVER even considering wearing a veil as part of my wedding ensemble, I tried on my mum’s old veil last night and oh my God, I didn’t want to take it off. I still stand my statement that veils look a lot like fancy dress to me, but I was surprised by how very glamorous it was. Maybe I’ll buy one of those to wear around the house too?
- For those of you who got here via Google thinking that the above bullet point was going to be about the whole Jack Straw/burqa debate, sorry to disappoint you. For the record, though, I think Jack Straw’s request (And "request" being the operative word here: despite the media frenzy, he’s not demanding that veils be removed…) to Muslim women to remove their veils when speaking to him is a perfectly reasonable one. Luckily for me (See: "I Am Lazy", above), Rachel from North London has summed up everything I wanted to say on this subject, though, so less work for me! Coolio.
- I started blogging at The Bag Lady this week. Are y’all bored with me yet?
- Terry and I have started going walking in the woods again, in a bid to get off our fat asses and get some exercise. This afternoon we went on our favourite walk, in a country park near here, only to find after two miles of walking that some farmer had torn down one style and barricaded up another in a bid to remove the right of access we "ramblers" so enjoy. SWINE. I am SO going to start a massive campaign and become a countryside campaigner, because that’s what you do on a Sunday when you’re as old as I am.
- Also: those annoying little mini-motorcycle things (the ones on which grown men/lanky teenagers sit with their knees tucked up under their ears) were zipping about all over the place, so that no matter where we went, the peace of the countryside was shattered by the BZZZZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! of their stupid engines. Again, I wonder why this annoys me so much? Because, seriously, by the time we got home, I was fit to be tied. Maybe I need anger management classes? Or wine?
- I had to cut the grass again yesterday. GOD. Don’t get me wrong, I know we Scots like to joke about global warming and get all "Bring it on" about it, but yesterday was so warm that I was outside in a t-shirt. In October. Given that it’s rarely warm enough to wear a t-shirt outside in July here, this is very strange weather. And yes, my pathological hatred of winter is well documented, but seriously, October, I have sweater dresses and knee high boots here just waiting to be worn…. Also: I cannot STAND having to cut the grass every week. The last FOUR times I’ve had to do it I’ve put my lawn mowing implements away with a smirk, thinking, "Ha! Won’t be seeing YOU again until next year, suckers!" and then, a week later there I’ll be, getting my shoes all grass stained again. HATE it.
- I got my YSL faux cils mascara. At first I thought I hated it, but after several uses, I’m actually quite liking it. Not enough to lure me away from my faithful Lancome, though.
- It’s Monday tomorrow. Gah.