AAARGH the stress, the stress! Make it go away!

Actually, I came up with a great technique to create more hours in the day (in which to work like a slave, natch). It’s this: don’t bother getting dressed. Or washed, even. Great plan, huh? Especially for people like me, who take two hours to get dressed in the mornings. (I’d like to point out here that I’m exaggerating slightly with the “two hours” estimate. Would like to, but obviously can’t, because that would make me a liar. One day last week it took three!) Just get up, proceed directly to desk, do not pass Go, do not collect £200, aaaaand WORK!

Actually? Now I think of it, because I use a laptop, I could probably also dispense with the “getting out of bed” bit. Why, I could just lever myself into a vaguely upright position, switch on the laptop and let the work begin! I’ll try that tomorrow. Today Terry is at one of his tedious business networking events (Note to self: find out if Terry is having affair with someone at business networking events) so my state of dishabille will go completely unnoticed. I’ve switched the phone off, too. Ha! Take that, clients who call at half-past-midnight!

Anyway, needless to say, the workload is crippling, the deadlines are looming, and that’s why I’m here, blogging about how much work I have to do, rather than actually doing it. (Don’t try this at home, kids). It’s also why, at 6pm last night, and driven almost to the brink of insanity by THE STRESS, I jumped into the car and made an emergency dash to Asda, where I ran around the newly-revamped and absolutely massive George section, throwing clothes into my basket like a contestant on supermarket sweep. Then taking them all back again, obviously, because really, when would I wear a strapless tweed dress? Not while I’m working from my bed, that’s for sure…

It was only as I got ready for bed, many hours later (Tomorrow? When I don’t bother getting up? Totally won’t have to bother with that.) that I realised I’d somehow picked up one of Asda’s stickers during my emergency dash, and had been walking around with a label saying “PART OF A TWO PIECE SET!” on my ass. GOD.

Back to work then. Send coffee. (Also: clothes).