Bah, Humbug

Well, folks, it’s less than a month until Christmas – let the fun begin! (And by “Let the fun begin” I mean, “Let Terry and I begin hemorrhaging money as we frantically try and stockpile random pieces o’crap gifts for our nearest and dearest whilst still having enough money to be able to live, and ohmygod it’s Christmas! We will have to actually LEAVE THE HOUSE and go to parties, and WHAT WILL I WEAR? I have nothing to wear. Nothing. SEND CLOTHES. Also: ponies)

Anyway, as it’s almost Christmas and we’re now poorer than the poorest of church mice, it stands to reason that my car will choose this time of year to break down randomly, so that’s what happened today. I’d popped down to Asda to start buying those Christmas gifts, and yes, OK, to see if they had that dress in yet that was in Heat magazine two weeks ago, but which has never actually appeared in Asda ever, and actually? I don’t think that dress even exists. I think they just made it up to taunt me. Damn you, George at Asda, DAMN YOU TO HELL.

But I digress. It was as I was leaving the car park that the car decided to splutter and die. “Splutter!” said the car. “Die!” I managed to get it started again, but then spent the rest of the drive home squealing like a crazy person every time I had to slow down, in case it would die again and refuse to start. I have no idea what’s wrong with it, but I’ll bet it’s expensive, whatever it is. For the moment I’m going to go with my “the car was cold. And tired!” theory. Don’t tell me different, because I don’t want to know.

Needless to say, this has not got December off to a very good start, and God, December hasn’t even started yet.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas day itself – I just hate the month that precedes it, with it’s frantic consumerism and wardrobe dilemmas. Bah, humbug…

What I should do about this state of affairs: Start writing novel. Become rich and famous. Get car fixed. Buy pony.

What I am actually going to do about this state of affairs: Go to bed. Sleep.

What I will do tomorrow: Get up early. Take Rubin for healthy, bracing walk in the early morning air. Feel virtuous. Complete days’ work by lumchtime. Write novel. For real.