Five Things You Didn’t Want To Know About Me

So, absolutely ages ago, the lovely Linda of Passionate Blog tagged me with the "Five Things" meme, and, despite the very best of intentions, I didn’t get round to doing it. That was before I was on deadline, though. Now I have something like 50,000 words to write in the next five minutes and, procrastination queen that I am, that makes now sound like a good time for a meme to me. Also, Shoegal has tagged me now, too, so without further ado, here are five things you (probably) didn’t know about me…

  1. I have a pathological fear of crustaceans.
    Crabs, lobsters, certain types of shellfish – seriously, don’t even mention those suckers to me. Actually, as phobias go, crustaceans is a pretty easy one to have. I mean, if you’re going to have yourself a phobia, I would recommend crustaceans, mostly because it doesn’t interfere with your life too much. (Unless, of course, you work in a seafood restaurant or are a fisherman, in which case, sucks to be you if you have a phobia about crustaceans). The same could also be said of my phobia about beheading, really: pretty scary when you think about it, but probably unlikely to really affect your life, you know?
  2. My phobia of telephones, on the other hand?
    Totally don’t recommend that one. Especially not if you’re a journalist, because seriously, who ever heard of a journalist who hates using the phone? (Answer: all of you, now!)
  3. I once interviewed Robin Cook, during his time as Foreign Secretary.
    No, you didn’t see that one coming, did you? Needless to say, it was not a telephone interview.*
  4. I got 98% in my Higher English Exam, which was the 3rd highest mark in the country at the time.
    No, you really WOULDN’T think it, would you? Please, no one take this as an invitation to go through this site and point out all the errors. It should be clear to us all by now that things have gone seriously downhill since I was 17 – in more ways than one.
  5. My first job was beneath the golden arches of McDonalds
    I lasted two weeks. During that time I had the longest queues and the most irate customers McDonalds had ever known. They probably still talk about it to this day. Needless to say, customer service and I were not meant to be. Having said that, though, it was the uniforms that finished me off, really. I was prepared to work for Ronald McDonald – dammed if I was going to dress like him too.

* Or even an interesting interview, come to think of it. My top question: “What do you think of our paper’s toy appeal?” Shaking in his shoes he was at my hard-hitting style.