Next, please!

RantsJan 19 20073 Comments

So, how’s this for crappy customer service?

For the last week, the Next Directory have called us EVERY SINGLE DAY without fail. Every. Single. Day.

"Hello!" they’ll say. "Can we speak to Mrs McLoughlin, please!"

and "Get lost!" we’ll reply. "No one of that name here, now don’t phone us again!"

The message, though, it just hasn’t been getting through. Yesterday, when they called, and Terry asked them (politely) to please stop with the phone harassment? They hung up on him. Today? Why, today they took things to a whole new level of utter stupidity.

Today, you see, rather than being called by a real, live person, the Next Directory chose to have a machine call us. Yes, a machine! "Please. Call. The. Next. Directory," the machine said, robotically, before reading out a phone number veeeeeerrrryyyy slllloooowwwwlllly.

I called the number. I got another machine. "The. Next. Directory. Called. You. Today." said the new machine. "There. Is. No. Need. To. Call. Us."

Aaaargh! At this point my head actually exploded, so it was some time before I managed to find their customer service number (actually, this was mostly because this is a secret number, that Next do their damndest to keep hidden) and get a real person on the end of the phone. "How can I help you?" she asked. "Well, you can stop calling me every day in life, hanging up on me and then getting your evil machines to call me instead FOR NO REASON," I replied. She put me on hold. For over five minutes.

When the woman finally came back to me (and bear in mind I have nothing better to do with my time than sit and listen to hold music. Nothing at all.) she was all a-fluster, but she did promise they would stop calling me. I bet they won’t, though. I just bet they won’t. The moral of the story: it’s crap when machines start calling you, isn’t it? The purpose of this entry? To allow me to procrastinate and try to avoid the huge amount of work that’s threatening to kill me. Happy Friday, people!