Stress: it’s what’s for breakfast round here.

The stress? The total, mind bending, hair-tearing stress I’ve been under these past two weeks? No, it’s not any better, thanks for asking. Actually? It’s worse. Yes, worse. As well as the four horrendously-long newspaper features which IF I DON’T FINISH THEM BY MONDAY I WILL DIE, I also have another horrendously long article to write, plus a bunch of other stuff that’s too boring to go into here, but trust me, if you were me? You wouldn’t be happy either.

Some techniques I’ve formed to help me meet my deadlines:

1. Not drying my hair.
I’m still washing it obviously, because URGH, unwashed hair, but drying it? Not so much. It dries by itself eventually anyway, and if I get hypothermia and die? At least I won’t have to write that mind-bendingly boring article I said I’d do, eh?*
Time saved: ten precious minutes per day

2. Not getting dressed until midday
Because that yellow dressing gown is TOTALLY acceptable work wear where I come from.

3. When I do get dressed, always wearing the same outfit I wore the day before (with clean underwear natch).
Time saved: about 2 hours. Yes, I’m seriously indecisive…

4. Not eating anything that can’t be toasted.
Time saved: well, none, really. I only EVER eat food that can be toasted, you see…

5. Not blogging
What do you mean you hadn’t noticed? GOD.

6. Buying this.
I seriously think it’s the only thing that could save me right now…

* Joking. Sort of.