So, today I spent over £800 in less than an hour. And how are you, today?

Here’s what I bought:


That? Oh, that’s just the private-pool-with-sea-view at the villa we have booked for our honeymoon (or, OK, a small corner of the pool, and you can’t really see it very well anyway, but I didn’t take the picture, OK? GOD.). Yes, we have BOOKED OUR HONEYMOON, people, although, actually? The villa booking hasn’t been confirmed yet, so here is what our £800 + actually paid for today:


(Note: we didn’t buy the full plane. Just two seats on it. Gosh, I hope no one dies mid-flight, a la Erin’s flight to Australia. I mean, these things scare me enough without the on-board death and destruction…)

Anyway, the villa is in a little village on Lanzarote. I know, I know: we were all, "We will totally have the holiday of a lifetime and go somewhere far-flung and exotic for our honeymoon!" but then we stupidly decided to get married right before Easter, when it costs TWICE AS MUCH TO TRAVEL AS ANY OTHER TIME OF YEAR. Gah. Lanzarote may not be the most exciting place in the world (and we’ve been there before), but it is at least cheap, hot, and as we haven’t had a proper holiday since 2003 now, we’ll probably just collapse on that there patio (WITH SEA VIEW!) and remain there, like the old wrecks we are, anyway. We’re flying out the day after the wedding (April 1st. Because only we would fly on April Fool’s Day.), which will surely make for some fun times as we try and organise ourselves!

So, now that the booking of villa and hire car has been done, certain other questions need to be addressed:

  • What will I wear?
  • When will the Spring/Summer collections start coming into the shops?
  • Will I do the fake tan for the wedding after all? Because I was totally going to be pale and interesting for the ceremony, but I’ll need to be tanned and not-so-interesting for the honeymoon (or I will frighten small children, who will be able to use my pale skin to light their way at night), and we leave the afternoon after the wedding. What to do?!
  • Who will come to the wedding?
  • Will ANYONE come to the wedding?
  • Hey, we should really think about inviting people to the wedding, shouldn’t we?
  • Do Matalan still have those cow-print suitcases on sale, I wonder, because neither of our cases made it back in one piece from Vegas that time (thanks, Chicago O’Hare! Screw you, too!)
  • Can we afford this?
  • What IS that giant silver thing in the garden of Nigel, the International Man of Mystery Next Door?

These questions, and others, will be answered soon. Or, you know, maybe not.

  1. Whoa, what is this people dying on the plane story? I think I missed something. Is this something that happened to Erin or something in the news and I’m so out of the loop?

  2. Kate, on my trip home to Oz on the Dubai-Singapore leg, two people died and one guy almost bit the dust after they gave him food with sesame seeds in it – he swelled up, anaphylactic shock, etc – but was saved by an epi-pen!

    Erm, so yes, that’s my terribly exciting story. You know, I’ve come to delight in telling it, because it makes my life seem all kinds of dramatic, when really, I live in pyjamas and eat gluten free biscuits for a living ;););)

  3. Erin, I think your flight is going to become an urban myth… Years from now, people around the world will speak of “The Flight of Death” and wonder if it really happened or if it’s just one of those creepy tales. You will get your own entry on and be known as “the girl who lived” – hee!

    Kate – the flight should BE on the news, if only to warn people! Airplanes are dangerous, I tells ya…

  4. Do Matalan still have those cow-print suitcases on sale?

    Yes, I am aware of this due to a number of suitcase issues recently – all blogged. I am still not sure how I managed to fill an entire blog post with a story about suitcases. I need to get out more. Or possibly pack less for my staying in lifestyle.

    They also have very bright pink ones which I am sure Terry would be proud to wheel across the concourse.

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