I hate Mondays. I particularly hate those Mondays, though, that kick off with me having two teeth ripped from my head. I mean, isn’t that just a totally sucky way to start the week?
Of course, it wasn’t actually my teeth that were ripped out of my head. No, it was my veneers. Yup, those ugly ass veneers are no more, and I have to say, as much as I hated them, there was a part of me felt a little bit sad as I cleaned them this morning for the last time. Well, I mean, they have been with me since I was sixteen. I’ve had those veneers for longer than I haven’t had them, if you know what I mean. I’ve had them for so long that I can’t really remember accurately what the teeth underneath look like, and I think this is the main reason I got so worried about today’s trip to the dentist. It wasn’t that I was scared of the pain: it was the fact that this face I’ve had for half of my life now was about to change permanently, and WHAT IF IT CHANGED FOR THE WORST?
Needless to say, it did not change for the worse. Well, I mean, it did – I have temporary veneers on at the moment, and the temporary veneers? Are yellow. Yel.low. So yellow, in fact, that I’ve just had to make a panicked call to the dentist saying ohmygodpleasetellmeIwillnotlooklikethisforever. They’re also really fragile, apparently, which means that I now have a couple of dozen cans of soup in the kitchen, and will be on what I call the Dental Diet for the next two weeks, eating only mushy foods, so that my temporary veneers don’t fall off, reavealing the PEG TOOTH in all its (un)glory. So I’ll also get to lose weight too – excellent!
What’s not so excellent? The way Terry has been totally taking the crap out of my droopy, “I’ve just been to the dentist” mouth. Why am I marrying him again?
In slightly better news, though, remember when Next were harrassing me by phone for no reason whatsoever? Well, I wrote to complain, and they have given me £25 to spend. Yay! Free stuff!