The one where I try to cut my own hair

As you go through life, you start to realise that there are some things only stupid people do. Pouring bleach in their coffee. Almost choking to death on their own dinner. Wearing crocs.  To this short list, however, I would add one more item: trying to cut their own hair.

Now, I know not to cut my own hair, and specifically, not to cut my own fringe (or "bangs" if you’re in America). The reason I know this? Because I have done it before. Many, many times, in fact. And it has never, ever, worked out well. My hairdresser has told me not to do it. My friends have told me not to do it. I have told myself not to do it. So, what do you think I did today, folks?

I cut my own hair.

It was the work of moments. Do you ever get those days where you’ve been perfectly happy with your hair, and then suddenly you wake up one morning and you just can’t bear to have it on your head any more? I do. And today was one of those days. My frustration with my hair was largely focused on my long, sideways fringe. Up until yesterday, this fringe had done nothing to annoy me. This morning I woke up and it was totally in my eyes all the time. "What would be really stupid would be if I tried to cut my fringe myself!" I thought, heading for the bathroom. "But I’m not stupid enough to do that, nosiree! Why, small children aren’t stupid enough to do that. Even Britney Spears isn’t stupid enough to… oh no, wait…"

The next thing I knew, the scissors were in my hands and my fringe was on the floor. D’oh.

So, as you’re reading this I bet you’re probably thinking "How bad can it be? I bet it’s not that bad at all?" It is that bad, folks. I look like someone attacked my head with a lawnmower. Luckily for me, hairbands have been going through a bit of a resurgence recently. You know, those big, wide, Alice in Wonderland style bands? They are everywhere. I even own some myself. The problem with that, though? Those headbands look really stupid on me. Seriously, I look like an overgrown, Sloaney child right now. And this, my friends, is how I will look for the rest of the summer – or for a few weeks at least. Pity me. And also: let this be a lesson to you: never try to cut your hair yourself.


7 Comments

  • Stephen says:

    Feh – I cut my hair all the time. Where’s the difficulty? Set clippers to 3mm, and commence buzzing. Easy-peasy.

    Be an interesting look on you, of course….

    ;+)

  • Erin says:

    Eep! Maybe you should try out an of-the-moment turban instead ;)

  • sanddancer says:

    I was just butchered by a hairdresser again this weekend and paid £30 for the honour of what seemed like 5 minutes of random hacking. So at least it didn’t cost you anything – other than hair of course.

  • john says:

    i do my fringe sometimes works out sometimes but i would not recommend

  • john says:

    i do my fringe sometimes works out sometimes but i would not recommend

  • Elena says:

    I cut my fringe last night and i know what your going through. ahhh its the holidays and school is back soon and i dont want to be seen. I’m going to the hairdressers today hoping that maybe they can straighten it up or something, ANYTHING! nothing can be worse than it is now.
    I also have the same problem as you..i had a nice fringe that looked good and didnt annoy me then out of the blue last night i grabbed the scissors and started chopping..before i new it was gone :(

    ive done it before too. hopefully this will be the one to teach me a lesson.

  • Selina says:

    I tell myself every time that I won’t cut my fringe but I still do it every so often. I will never learn

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