“Please Miss, the dog ate my homework!”

Now, I didn’t think people actually used the "the dog ate my homework" excuse in real life - but it seems that people do. And not just for homework, either.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I won a pair of boots on eBay. I use the word "won" pretty much literally here, in that I got them for the princely sum of £1.20, which I thought was a bit of a steal. Apparently the seller thought so too, for two weeks passed and … no boots.

Because it’s summer (well, sort of) and I have no pressing need for boots at the moment, I had actually forgotten all about them until something else arrived from eBay (yeah, I’ve been going through one of my periodic "buying things on eBay" phases) and I thought, "Hey!I wonder what happened to m’boots?"

So I sent the seller a quick email, asking if she’d posted them yet. Two minutes later, I got a response, and you’ll never guess what?

Her dog ate my boots!

I mean, I guess she could be telling the truth. If I had a pound for every pair of shoes Rubin ate when he was a puppy, I’d have… well, I’d have £3 by now. But that’s not the point. Even if the dog did eat the boots, when was the seller going to tell me about it, I wonder? Did she want my £1.20 (plus £2 postage) that badly that she was just going to sit tight and hope I forgot all about it? Apparently so, for she still has it. Says Paypal "won’t let her" refund it to me. And, to be fair, she did offer to  send me a cheque for the amount, but God, do people still use cheques? For real? And would you get in your car and drive all the way to the bank for the sake of £3.20? I wouldn’t. (No more than I’d list a pair of boots on eBay, wrap them and take them to the post office for £3.20, for that matter. And here I think we have the crux of the matter.) I mean, I don’t even get out of bed for less than £4…

So, no boots for me. And no £3.20 either. Maybe my "dog" will jump onto my computer and leave that seller a big far negative feedback, hmmm?