Yesterday, for only the second time in my adult life, I went out without my makeup on. (The first time was years ago, on holiday in Florida, and my dad made me do it because he wanted dinner and didn’t want to wait for me to mess around with makeup. And dad, if you’re reading this – still not over it). Anyway, yesterday’s “out without my mask on” episode had nothing to do with my dad, and everything to with the RED WEALS.
Yes, folks, they are back, and they are back with a freaking vengeance. Yesterday, I woke up with one eye so swollen I looked like I’d gone twelve rounds with Tyson, and the other decorated with an attractive RED WEAL. Did this suck? Oh I’ll say it sucked. And when I say “I went out without my makeup” I should just add “Only because I absolutely had to” and “I didn’t remove my sunglasses the whole time. Sorry to the lady at the supermarket who thought I was going to try and rob her.” Now I understand why celebrities sometimes refuse to let their minions make eye contact with them – they probably have RED WEALS too.
I think it’s stress. It was definitely stress the last time this happened, and I know that my body has this neat trick of dealing with stress by CREATING EVEN MORE STRESS. Because that’s totally helpful, body, thanks. And also: screw you.
The slight problem with this “weals caused by stress” thing is that I don’t really know what to do about it. Hot baths? Long walks in the countryside? Chocolate? Wine? WHAT? Luckily the weal situation is a lot better today than it was yesterday. Maybe by the end of the weekend I will even look like a normal person again, hmmm?