The Grey Lady

Last night as I got ready for bed I opened my wardrobe to stroke my clothes and was hit by a sudden, hideous realisation. It was this: almost everything I have bought in the past couple of months… is grey.

Things I Have Bought That Are Grey

  • Sweaters
  • Cardigans
  • Jeans
  • Vest top
  • Shoes
  • Pyjamas. FREAKIN’ GREY PYJAMAS, PEOPLE!

They join a couple of things I already own that are also grey, namely:

  • Grey dress
  • Grey underwear. (Technically a mistake. Wash whites separately, kids.)

Also: the dress I am currently coveting that  I would totally have bought if they’d  just had it in my size? Is grey.

WHY? Why have I done this to myself? I really don’t understand it, because my favourite color? Is green. And OK, there’s not a whole lot of green in the shops at the moment but DID YOU HAVE TO BUY SO MUCH GREY INSTEAD, AMBER? DID YOU?! Actually, I don’t think I even like grey. Except my new  grey skinnies, obviously. They rawk. But still: why so grey, I wonder? Am not happy. Especially given that I’ve spent all my money now, so it’s not like I can go out and buy more things, that aren’t grey. And I can’t take the grey stuff back either because, well, I kind of already wore it all. I appear to have been building my collection for quite some time now.

No, it looks like I am destined to walk through the winter like some creeping grey thing, and I have no one to blame but myself. That I write about fashion for a living just makes it all the more embarrassing. “Fashion writer in ‘no longer allowed to go shopping alone!’ scandal”. “Woman swallowed whole by mountain of grey clothes!”  “Amber is a total freaking idiot! And also: poor!” Gah.

Grey is the new black, folks. You heard it here first.

12 Comments

  • Kristabella says:

    Grey is better than black. That's ALL I own. Pants. Shirts. Shoes.

    I tried to venture out. And buy COLOR! What a concept!

    And I came home with 2 pink shirts the SAME color pink. And another black shirt.

  • Hayley says:

    I've found myself wearing tons of brown lately. Do not even look good in it. My favorite color is also green, though I have put a ban on myself from buying anything else that is green due to my jungle-like closet. Though that was a couple of months ago…perhaps I could bring it back?

    Good luck with the grey.

    Also, book recommendation from yesterday–The Time Traveler's Wife. Excellent. Made me laugh and sob.

  • Caroline says:

    I suggest buying lots of plum and berry toned accessories to wear with it. Oooh look – an excuse for more shopping!

  • Amber says:

    Hayley – I *love* the Time Traveller's Wife! And also sobbed. Must re-read.

    Caroline – no money, I'm afraid. All the money's been spent. On grey things.

    Kristabella – Oh God, the black! I have the Lots of Black things too (at least it goes with the grey, I guess). And the thing is: black really doesn't suit me. WHY DO I DO IT?

  • Jennifer says:

    I currently lust after a heather gray dress. It is my obsession. However, I don't want to pay $200 for it. I would prefer it to be half that price. So, the hunt continues. I like gray…just maybe not all of it all the time.

  • Stephen says:

    Lol – I saw the title, and thought you were going to tell us about your first grey hair!

  • Zoot says:

    I do that SAME THING. I buy so much gray it's almost embarrassing.

  • Haley says:

    I'm a New Yorker, and last year I decided that I wanted to own a few clothes, maybe, that aren't black. But, being a New Yorker, the whole "color coordination" tends to just go over my head because well, we wear lots and lots of black. So what do I do? I go out and buy lots and lots of grey clothes. One day I realized that I had almost nothing but grey. In all fairness, it was pretty big last Fall. So I bought a brown thing here and a navy blue thing there to really shake things up. Really it didn't work though. Now? I go to beauty school, and I'm required to wear solid black every day.

    Also, I didn't comment on the delurker entry, but I guess I'm not really a lurker since I comment both here and thefashionpolice (and I'm in the Facebook group, I have a lot of time on my hands it seems) but I'm going to go ahead and recommend Lamb by Christopher Moore. It's hilarious.

  • Gemma says:

    I have grey issues too! I think it's because it kinda goes with everything, the way black does, but it's a teensy bit more exciting than black. Does that make any kinda sense?

  • Molly says:

    I love gray! Just mix and match with some brighter accessories and you'll be fine.

  • Kerry says:

    It's ok. Grey is very cool right now. Wear with mustard or lemon yellow.
    I sympathise. I go through stages, a while ago everything I owned was brown, then green, then purple (purple?!), now I'm in a yellow phase.

  • emma says:

    make a huge sell-out on ebay and buy the whole closet of green things instead:
    – you will still have a thing to weep on,
    – plus gain another chance to ramble about bloody ebayers!

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