The Grey Lady

Last night as I got ready for bed I opened my wardrobe to stroke my clothes and was hit by a sudden, hideous realisation. It was this: almost everything I have bought in the past couple of months… is grey.

Things I Have Bought That Are Grey

  • Sweaters
  • Cardigans
  • Jeans
  • Vest top
  • Shoes

They join a couple of things I already own that are also grey, namely:

  • Grey dress
  • Grey underwear. (Technically a mistake. Wash whites separately, kids.)

Also: the dress I am currently coveting that  I would totally have bought if they’d  just had it in my size? Is grey.

WHY? Why have I done this to myself? I really don’t understand it, because my favourite color? Is green. And OK, there’s not a whole lot of green in the shops at the moment but DID YOU HAVE TO BUY SO MUCH GREY INSTEAD, AMBER? DID YOU?! Actually, I don’t think I even like grey. Except my new  grey skinnies, obviously. They rawk. But still: why so grey, I wonder? Am not happy. Especially given that I’ve spent all my money now, so it’s not like I can go out and buy more things, that aren’t grey. And I can’t take the grey stuff back either because, well, I kind of already wore it all. I appear to have been building my collection for quite some time now.

No, it looks like I am destined to walk through the winter like some creeping grey thing, and I have no one to blame but myself. That I write about fashion for a living just makes it all the more embarrassing. “Fashion writer in ‘no longer allowed to go shopping alone!’ scandal”. “Woman swallowed whole by mountain of grey clothes!”  “Amber is a total freaking idiot! And also: poor!” Gah.

Grey is the new black, folks. You heard it here first.

  1. Grey is better than black. That's ALL I own. Pants. Shirts. Shoes.

    I tried to venture out. And buy COLOR! What a concept!

    And I came home with 2 pink shirts the SAME color pink. And another black shirt.

  2. I've found myself wearing tons of brown lately. Do not even look good in it. My favorite color is also green, though I have put a ban on myself from buying anything else that is green due to my jungle-like closet. Though that was a couple of months ago…perhaps I could bring it back?

    Good luck with the grey.

    Also, book recommendation from yesterday–The Time Traveler's Wife. Excellent. Made me laugh and sob.

  3. Hayley – I *love* the Time Traveller's Wife! And also sobbed. Must re-read.

    Caroline – no money, I'm afraid. All the money's been spent. On grey things.

    Kristabella – Oh God, the black! I have the Lots of Black things too (at least it goes with the grey, I guess). And the thing is: black really doesn't suit me. WHY DO I DO IT?

  4. I currently lust after a heather gray dress. It is my obsession. However, I don't want to pay $200 for it. I would prefer it to be half that price. So, the hunt continues. I like gray…just maybe not all of it all the time.

  5. I'm a New Yorker, and last year I decided that I wanted to own a few clothes, maybe, that aren't black. But, being a New Yorker, the whole "color coordination" tends to just go over my head because well, we wear lots and lots of black. So what do I do? I go out and buy lots and lots of grey clothes. One day I realized that I had almost nothing but grey. In all fairness, it was pretty big last Fall. So I bought a brown thing here and a navy blue thing there to really shake things up. Really it didn't work though. Now? I go to beauty school, and I'm required to wear solid black every day.

    Also, I didn't comment on the delurker entry, but I guess I'm not really a lurker since I comment both here and thefashionpolice (and I'm in the Facebook group, I have a lot of time on my hands it seems) but I'm going to go ahead and recommend Lamb by Christopher Moore. It's hilarious.

  6. I have grey issues too! I think it's because it kinda goes with everything, the way black does, but it's a teensy bit more exciting than black. Does that make any kinda sense?

  7. It's ok. Grey is very cool right now. Wear with mustard or lemon yellow.
    I sympathise. I go through stages, a while ago everything I owned was brown, then green, then purple (purple?!), now I'm in a yellow phase.

  8. make a huge sell-out on ebay and buy the whole closet of green things instead:
    – you will still have a thing to weep on,
    – plus gain another chance to ramble about bloody ebayers!

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