Things I Have Not Been Doing Lately

Yeah, so it turns out it’s really freakin’ hard to get spilled sherbet off wood floors. And off desk chairs. And, you know, off your clothes. And it’s really, really disconcerting when you go to get ready for bed of an evening, and YOUR UNDERWEAR IS FILLED WITH SHERBET. GOD. It’s a bit like being at the beach, only without the “fun” part. And I didn’t even get to eat the sherbet on account of the “pouring it all over myself instead” thing.

I think what I need to do is, I need to buy me a new house. One where my desk chair doesn’t make a suspicious crunching noise every time I move it, and my husband doesn’t have to spend five minutes every night trying to brush all the little bits of sherbet off his side of the bed. (HOW DID THEY GET THERE?)

Sherbet aside, absolutely nothing has happened this week, and by that I mean “The writing of my novel has not happened this week. Gah.” I’m up to about 6,000 words at the moment, which, considering I have to write 50,000 by the end of the month, isn’t all that great really, is it? I think I may have to cancel that champagne dinner and shopping trip to London to spend the generous advance I was expecting from my agent once this book is written. Because, you know, I don’t have an agent. Or a book, come to think about it. I wonder if J.K. Rowling ever had this problem?

Quite apart from Not Writing My Novel, I’ve been Not Doing quite a few other things this week, too. I’ve been Not Going to the Gym, for instance, which means that precious free towel is slowly slipping away from me with every day that passes. (Actually, I did go to the gym yesterday, AND I worked hard, but one of The Others came and got onto the cross-trainer right next to my treadmill EVEN ALTHOUGH THE WHOLE ROOM WAS EMPTY AND THERE WERE ABOUT SEVEN OTHER CROSS TRAINERS HE COULD HAVE USED INSTEAD, so that kind of put me off my stride a bit.) I’ve been Not Updating My Blog, Hell, I haven’t even been to the dry cleaner’s to pick up my coat, which was left with them at the weekend, and what will happen if I don’t find the time to go and pick it up soon? Maybe they will sell it?

So, what have I been doing? Um, working, basically. And also: playing Tetris Tournament on Facebook. Tonight I’m going to have all the excitement of giving my dog and bath and then having an early night. You wish you were me, you really do. Except, maybe without the sherbet-down-the-pants-thing.