It’s OK, it’s OK, you can stand down the vigil – I’m still alive. I know you all probably thought that I really did have an abominable aneurysm after all (and God, how embarrassing would THAT have been?), but it’s OK, I’m still here. I mean, I did have another migraine on Monday, so I’m probably still dying, and there was that incident in the library today where I was waiting for the man to check my books through and I turned around to see (and I exaggerate only slightly here) a poster on the wall which read:
“Do you have a persistent cough?
Are you feeling unusually tired?
IT COULD BE LUNG CANCER!
Better get that checked out, bitch.”
But other than that, we’re all good. And just for the record, I don’t happen to have a persistent cough or unusual levels of tiredness, but if I ever do have either of those symptoms – and I can be pretty sure that sooner or later I WILL – I’ll be sure to remember the wise words of that poster, and freak the hell out like I’ve never freaked before.
Anyway. This is what my life looks like at the moment:
By this I don’t mean to imply that I sit and stare at my own blog all the livelong day (although I highly recommend it), but that it’s been all workworkwork for the past few weeks, and if there’s a world outside that there computer box, it’s becoming but a distant memory to me. As is the way of the self-employed writer, you see, it would appear that I have bitten off quite a bit more than I can chew right now, and you don’t need me to tell you how much that sucks. This is why I find myself still sitting in front of that damn computer at 10:56pm, rather than doing… whatever it is that people who aren’t self-employed writers do at 10:56pm on a Wednesday night. (It is Wednesday, right? Because, from where I’m sitting, all the days are starting to merge into one.)
This is also why it is that I have, after a lot of thought and quite a bit of angst, decided that Things Need to Change. So, from the Christmas holidays, I’m going to be cutting my paid blogging work in half and concentrating instead on my own blogs and other work. I’ll still be editing Shoewawa, but I’ll be stepping down from the other sites I write for, and because I’ve been writing for those sites for a while now, this is kind of a big deal for me. I mean, sure, it’ll technically give me more time to do things like eating and sleeping and all that jazz, but OMG what if there is no money for food? What if I give up this work and then I totally run out of money and have to go and work in McDonalds, or down a coal mine or something? WHAT IF?
I mean, I’ve done my sums. I have worked this out, and we’ll be OK. I probably won’t be able to buy that pony this year (AGAIN!) but we’ll survive. It’s just a little bit scary, is all.
And now I’m off to shut down the computer and go do whatever it is that people do at 11:04pm on a Wednesday night.