Well, folks, it turns out that looking like a student was the very least of my worries. Just for the record, I probably still do look like a student – but I’ve now been informed that I now look “butch” and “ugly” too. Which is, you know… nice.
You see, way the hell back in August, I wrote this column for Shoewawa. For the benefit of those of you who really couldn’t give a damn about shoes (!), allow me to summarize: it was about trainers. More specifically, it was about my abiding hatred of them. It’s true, I really don’t like trainers. Sure, I wear them for the gym, where I have absolutely no choice in the matter, but it’s always been my firm belief that trainers are only for the gym. I would not, for instance, wear them to go shopping in. Or out to dinner. In fact, I wouldn’t wear them anywhere I wasn’t going to be engaging in some form of physical exercise, such is my dislike of them.
In stating this dislike, though, I was very careful to try not to offend the trainer-lovers, and to make it clear that this was just a personal preference, and no reflection on them and their beloved footwear. In fact, I even went so far as to say that I think trainers can and do look good on other people. Just not on me. This is MY irrational hatred you see, and I was talking about myself, so if you like trainers, then good for you: wear them with pride, and may you have much joy of them. Just don’t expect me to do likewise.
Today I wanted to link to that entry from something else I was writing it, so I went back to it and decided to take a quick look to see if any new comments had been added since the last time I viewed it. One had: a comment by a girl called “Saelynne”. Here is what “Saelynne” had to say about me:
“You look butch enough to pull off trainers.
Only pretty girls can wear heels or ballet flats & look cute.
You my dear are definatly not one of them.”
So, bringing my powerful intellect to bear on this statement, I dunno, but I don’t think Saelynne likes me, do you?
Now, I would be lying if I said this comment didn’t sting just a little. I mean, one minute I’m being told I look like a student, the next I’m a dog-rough, “butch” looking student to boot. Looks like that lucrative modelling career I’ve been planning will have to go on hold, then. And was that my ego I just saw limping out of the room there?
Now, at first I thought this I had inadvertently managed to offend one of the trainer-lovers after all. I seem to do this quite a lot, and not just to the trainer-lovers: there’s a freakishly large number of people out there who just CAN’T STAND the idea that some people have different taste from them – hence the fact that when I wrote about a dress I didn’t like last week, someone emailed me to say that I was obviously just saying that about it because I am fat. So, let’s see, what do we have so far: I’m fat, ugly, butch, and I look like a student. Thanks, Internet! Love you too!
Anyway, Saelynne wasn’t actually disagreeing with me about the trainers (in fact, trainers are the only shoes I should wear, according to her, because I’m too “butch” for heels. Looks like there’s a whole lotta size 4 stilettos coming to an eBay auction near you, folks: get ‘em while they’re hot!). So she was just a random, spiteful bitch. Wow. I mean, I’ve always known that if assholes could fly, the Internet would be an airport, but sometimes amazes me the lengths people will go to to prove what assholes they really are. Also, the fact that there are STILL people who don’t know how to spell “definitely” correctly is pretty amazing too. (I know, I know, it was a cheap shot. She wasn’t brave enough to put her photo up above her comment, like I did on my post, though, so it’s all I’ve got to go on. That and the fact that she’s a complete freaking loon, obviously.)
And while I guess I should be flattered that people like “Saelynne” consider me to be so important that a few words from me about shoes is enough to turn them into raving lunatics, I’m thinking that “influential among crazy people” probably isn’t too much of an accolade, is it? Not really one to write home about. Women, huh?
This is Fat Amber, the Butch Blogger, signing out…