I would apologise for the lack of posts here over the Easter break, but as that would involve pretending that I’d had the intention of doing anything AT ALL over the break other than lying around on my bed and eating chocolate eggs, I think I better not. Lying makes the baby Jesus cry, you know.
Actually, I DID have some plans for the long weekend. In between chocolate eggs, for instance, I had a vague idea of maybe dashing off a quick novel or two. No, really. I’d kinda pictured myself taking long, bracing walks in the lovely Spring sunshine, and returning home refreshed, to rattle off a hundred thousand words or so which some famous literary agent would auction off to the highest bidder, and then I’d sell the film rights and be rich, and think to myself, "Whew! Thank God I decided not to lie around all Easter eating chocolate eggs, eh?" Then I thought, "Screw that," and decided just to go with the chocolate eggs thing after all. Maybe I’ll regret it, maybe not. All I know is that I had the best Easter ever, doing absolutely nothing, and now that it’s over I really miss it. I wish that could be my life from now on.
I actually think Easter may be my favourite holiday. It’s way cheaper than Christmas, for one thing, and, being the absolute heathens that we are, there’s no obligation to do anything at all, which totally rocks. Also, it marks the beginning of Spring, and if it hadn’t snowed more or less all weekend, that would be a Truly Great Thing indeed. (JUST DIE ALREADY, WINTER. JUST. DIE.)
I did have an idea about The Novel, though, all joking aside. The idea was this: I COULD TOTALLY WRITE A NOVEL. As opposed to, you know, just sitting around thinking about it. This weekend I did quite a bit of sitting around thinking about it: I would expand on this, but it would be something like the twentieth time I’d written a post here saying "I actually think I might finish The Novel this time. No, really, I totally think I will!" so I’m just going to skip it. Like I said, lies make the baby Jesus cry. And also: there’s still plenty of Easter chocolate to be eaten…