So, Rubin terrorised the postman yesterday. I mean, I say "terrorised" – Rubin is a small white ball of fluff – but, you know, I dare say some people are terrified by small white balls of fluff, and Rubin certainly seems to think they are or I guess he wouldn’t go around pretending to be a wolf all the time. As a mark of what BAAAD dog owners Terry and I are, we couldn’t even call him off because we were laughing too much. I KNOW! Ladies and gentlemen of the postal service, you have my sincerest apologies. But it would probably be better for you if you just bring me that eBay parcel I’ve been waiting for sooner rather than later, know what I mean?
We were out on one of our regular walks at the time. Rubin was off the leash: yes, because we believed him to be a totally non-threatening fluffball who wouldn’t harm a soul, and who, I should add, has NEVER approached anyone on any of his walks before. (Although given that he had already terrorised a toddler that week, and was still in the doghouse over it – ha! Do you see what I did there? – maybe complacency shouldn’t have been our friend, hmmm?) And the thing is, we KNOW Rubin has identified Postpeople as The Enemy. He marked them out as such a long, long time ago, as soon as he was old enough to realise that Postpeople infiltrate our property every single day in life and poke bits of paper through the letterbox. And to be honest, I probably wouldn’t put up with that kind of behaviour from them either if I were him.
Anyway, as I was saying, yesterday we were out on our walk and as soon as the familiar red-and-fluorescent jacket wove into view, it was a case of "enemy sighted, enemy met". Rubin took off like a bullet out of a gun, running quite some distance to reach the poor postman. Then he… well, then he kind of ROUNDED HIM UP, barking like a madman all the time.
Luckily, the postman took all of this in good part and completely ignored Rubin, so by the time Terry and I had stopped laughing for long enough to call him back to us, the situation was in hand. It would seem that the Rubinman will have to be kept on his leash from now on, if there is the slightest chance of post-people being in the vicinity, though, because clearly he’s just been lulling us into a false sense of security with his relatively good "walking" behaviour up until now, and has all the time been waiting for the right opportunity to make his move. I mean, I swear to God that he has NEVER tried to round someone up in his life before. But yesterday he did. And I don’t think he even regrets it.