Postcards from the Edge

Dear Self,

Next time you decide to make Terry drive you to Asda at 10pm at night, just because you suddenly realised that you couldn’t live for ONE MORE SECOND without buying new pyjamas (Yeah, and what was THAT about, by the way? Because you don’t even wear pyjamas, self, and you know it.), it might be a good idea not to leave your wallet, complete with all sources of funding, on your desk at home.

Thanks,

Amber

*  *  *

Dear Terry,

Thanks for the loan.

Love,

Amber

*  *  *

Asda,

You never have size 4 shoes. Like, EVER. I seriously don’t think I’ve ever seen a size four shoe inside your store, other than than ones on my feet, obviously. And those black ballet pumps I bought two months ago. Other than that, though, NOTHING. And last night? I even checked all of the pairs of shoes I DIDN’T want to buy, and seriously, no size fours. What’s up with that? Also: you never have lingerie in a size 6, either. WHY?  Stop sucking so hard in the sizing department, Asda, I mean, really.

Amber

*  *  *

Dear Amber,

It’s the three sets of Tweezerman tweezers you put in the washing machine last night here. We were in your dressing gown pocket, and we did half an hour at thirty degrees, on a spin cycle. We weren’t amused. Check your pockets before you wash things next time. We don’t want to have to speak to you about this again.

Regards,

Your Tweezers


9 Comments

  • emmao414 says:

    Hi Amber, normally I wouldnt post a rude comment, but seriously, what were you doing with 3 sets of tweezers??

    and yes, asda are rubbish, they never have any 3's either :(

  • Amber says:

    Well, I have a little leather "tweezer" pouch which all my tweezers live in (I have more than one pair because I've just collected them over the years… ) and when I'd finished tweezing my eyebrows that morning, I must just have stuck the pouch in my dressing gown pocket. Luckily all three remained in the pouch during their trip through the wash, though…

  • emmao414 says:

    Ha, yes, it would have been a rather red-faced explaination to a repair man!

    I should take note, I can never find my tweezers when I need them, and because of that I must have 4 sets now. A wee pouch should solve problems :)

  • Leslie says:

    I have lost my ONLY tweezers! I am in a tweezer tizzy! I will look like an ape soon if I don't find them. I need back up tweezers. Badly!

  • Stephen says:

    Hmmmm. Tweezing. Tweeeeeezing. Twee-zing. Yep, I think that's my word of the day. Say it with me – "Tweezing." All words should be so much fun… ;+)

  • Orla says:

    They never ever have size 3's either, but I'm quite sure this is down to their poor research about the actual average shoe size of British women.

    And also, i'm not sure Asda actually 'do' size 6, do they? I've never seen a single 6 in all their ranges. Which is a bit daft considering that their size 8 is rather a generous one at times. Daftness

  • Amber says:

    Orla, they go down to a size four in some of their ranges, but finding a 4 is like finding Willie Wonka's golden ticket! In their lingerie, though, they only seem to go down to an 8 which is totally stupid. I mean, having acknowledged that there are people in the world who wear a 6 or smaller, what makes them think that these same people will require size "8-10" knickers? Gah.

  • Orla says:

    Crikey! I never thought they'd do fours… that must be Holy Grail material.

    Yeah, the undies thing does bother me intensely… if ever an item of clothing was supposed to fit it's mostly certainly your underpants!

  • Kristabella says:

    I guess it is good that after all that spinning, the tweezers didn't vomit all over your clean clothes.

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