SPIDER

(Rubin is a dog with a blog. This post was written by him.)

I ate a SPIDER.

It was in the kitchen, walking along the floor. I was like, “the floor belongs to ME, buddy”, but it ignored me so I STALKED it. I stalked it like a TIGER, and then, when it was least expecting it, I POUNCED and caught it in my mouth. Then I ate it. It’s in my BELLY now, which is a bit weird really, but still – I’M the pet in this house, anything else that tries to come into my territory, whether it be fat kids or spiders, gets it.

Sooo, not a lot happening. The thing that’s really bothering me right now is the “teevee”. Now, I had never really paid the “teevee” any mind before. It’s more Terry’s thing than mine; he’ll sit and stare at it for HOURS, but I always just figured that was because Terry’s just a big bag o’ lazy. But then the other night it was on, and I noticed that there were some tiny dogs trapped inside it…

Well. I ran over and put my paws on it, barking to frighten them. Sure enough, they skeddadled – they were terrified. They ran right out the back of the “teevee”, but when I ran round the back myself to get them, they were gone?

I was puzzled. Since then I haven’t been able to get those tiny dogs out of my head. Where did they come from? How did they get there? And, most importantly, where did they GO? I’ve noticed there are tiny people trapped in there as well. Like, how WEIRD is that?!

Anyway, tiny dogs aside, not a lot to report, except that today they BATHED me. (Amber and Terry did, I mean, not the tiny dogs. If the tiny dogs had bathed me that really WOULD have been weird…)That’s the second time in two weeks. They’re saying it’s because it’s “winter” now and I keep getting muddy. Yeah, well, I been diggin’ me a hole. Been up to my neck in mud every night this week, and what thanks to I get for it? They BATH me. Huh.

Rubinman

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