Things I Have Not Being Doing Recently

Well, that was an unexpectedly long break from the blawg, wasn’t it? And once again, while I’d love to say that my absence has made your hearts grow fonder been the result of various exciting events in my life, the truth is that I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing. Here are some of the things I have NOT been doing this week:

1. Not Watching the Olympics

No, I have not been watching the Olympics. Because I just don’t care about the Olympics. I know! Shocking, isn’t it? I know from my friends at Twitter that I’m not quite the ONLY person in the world who struggles to give a damn about sports, but sometimes? Sometimes it really feels like I am.

I can’t help it, though: sport just bores me rigid. Or most of it does, anyway. I like the equestrian stuff. And the ice skating. Oh, and that gymnastics thing where they throw a ball and a ribbon around for a while. That’s pretty cool. In fact, when I was a kid, I used to harbour dreams of one day actually turning into my own version of International Velvet and competing in the Olympics myself, as an ace showjumper. (I wasn’t quite deluded enough even then to think I’d ever be able to do the ball-and-ribbon-thing, or the ice skating, but I was quietly convinced that one day roller skating would be an Olympic sport, and that’s when I would show everyone what I was made of. Only it turned out I wasn’t so great at that either, and that’s when I decided to turn to blogging instead. If blogging is ever an Olympic sport, I am totally there…)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, the Olympics. Not watching it. Not caring. Am bad person. And I should probably point out before people shout at me that I have the utmost respect for the various athletes and what they do, because God knows, it’s all I can do to get out of bed some mornings. I just don’t have any interest in watching them do it. Or in hearing people talk about it incessantly. Sucks to be me, doesn’t it?

2. Not watching The Dark Knight, Mamma Mia or Wall-E

Now, I’m pretty sure I AM the only person in the world who is not currently obsessed with one of these movies. Because I can’t seem to exist for even a few hours at a time right now without hearing someone’s account of how they had a near-religious experience while watching The Dark Knight, or being asked whether I’ve seen Mamma Mia yet. And I probably will see Mamma Mia at some point (the other two are like the Olympics to me), possibly years from now, when everyone else has long-since forgotten it, and that’s when I will walk around sounding really old and tragic and out of touch, because that’s what I do.

For some reason, I never seem to latch onto bandwagons until they’re over. It’s not a deliberate thing. It’s not like I watch obscure, subtitled French films instead, and enjoy feeling all smug and superior about it, because I definitely don’t. No, it’s just that I seem to lack the "being interested in really popular things" gene. Like, totally. I mean, most of the time I don’t have a CLUE what you crazy kids are talking about. This is why I spend most of my time at parties standing around awkwardly shifting from foot to foot while people go, "Have you seen X yet? Well, have you seen Y? Have you been watching the Olympics?" Note to self: get out more.

3. Not going to the gym

Yes, the gym and I parted ways several weeks ago now. It was very sudden. One minute Terry and I were taking classes three times a week, and were all, "Ra! Ra! The Gym!" and then the next? Not so much. And by that I mean "not at all". I don’t even know WHY this happened, all I know is that we’ve booked several classes and then, when the alarm has gone off in the morning, we’ve just switched it off and gone back to sleep. When will we go back? Where is my motivation? Why can’t I seem to just get off my ass and GO TO THE GYM ALREADY? Because I really can’t. On the plus side, I have been going running. Just not very far. Or very fast. Or for very long. Another note to self: just go to the freaking gym already. Seriously.

4. Not booking a holiday

In fairness, I hadn’t intended to book a winter holiday until much nearer the time, but seriously, it’s more or less ALL I’ve thought of this week, and that would be because IT HAS NOT STOPPED RAINING. At all. I have run in the rain. I have walked the dog in the rain. I have had ENOUGH of the freaking rain. And I’m not going to even try and explain how much this is depressing me right now, because I know you’ll all just comment and say, "Oh, you should be grateful it’s not warm and sunny right now, because that would suck!" and those kind of comments would probably push me over the edge.

So I took up the search for a winter break with a huge amount of enthusiasm. And then slowly I realised that all of the places I wanted to go are too expensive, and that I will only get to visit them this winter if it turns out there actually is a money tree, and I get to shake it first. Turns out those two weeks in Florida in June really were the only sunshine/warmth on offer this year. Wah!

On a brighter note, though:


Got Fluff? Because I sure have. Terry got it for me from the Internet, which meant that this afternoon there was a knock on the door and I got to take delivery of a big box o’fluff. Yay Terry!