I’m so taking this out of his pocket money…

This morning I was wandering around the house, obsessively cleaning the floors, as you do, when my gaze drifted over to Rubin’s lair, which is where he drags the many things he has killed throughout the day, and I noticed THIS:

Now, quite apart from the fact that the Pink Hippo is quite clearly DRUNK AS A SKUNK (and in the morning, too! We don’t generally start drinking until at least lunchtime in this house, let me tell you…) THAT IS MY WATER BOTTLE.  For the gym. Or at least, it was my water bottle, because I’m sure as hell not going to be drinking from it now:

The Damage

The Damage

I loved that water bottle. It was the best damn water bottle a girl ever had. Not only was it my BFF at the gym, but it was also brilliant for keeping next to my bed at night, on account of the little spout thingy, which meant that if I was thirsty during the night, I didn’t even have to raise my head off the pillow to take a drink.  It was such a wonderful aid to laziness, and I will miss it. Well, until tomorrow, obviously, when I will buy a new one and forget all about it.

The thing is, though: I can’t be 100% certain, but I’m pretty sure the last time I saw the water bottle, it was on the kitchen counter. HOW DID HE DO IT?

However he did it, he’s grounded for the rest of the day. Don’t worry: he knows he done wrong. That’s why he went and hid under my chair as soon as he saw me notice the remains of the bottle:

P.S. His version of events here

P.P.S – Just to add, he didn’t actually get in trouble because he wasn’t caught in the act, and it was my own fault for leaving it where he could get it – he was just hiding because he knew he shouldn’t have done it!