Random acts of email stupidity

A couple of years ago, some cataclysmic event or other happened to my computer (clearly it was so cataclysmic all memory of it has been wiped from my mind, because I’m dammed if I can remember what it was) and I was forced to re-enter all of my Outlook contacts by hand.

Not long after this, I found out my mum was no longer receiving email from me. At all. Everyone else was receiving my messages just fine, and she was getting emails from everyone else but me (it was actually a pretty sweet deal for her, to be honest), so clearly we had a mystery on our hands.

And clearly I couldn’t be bothered investigating this mystery too deeply, or, indeed, at all, because rather than try to find out WHY this was happening, I chose to do absolutely nothing about it,  and blithely continued firing off emails to my mother’s email address. This is why my childhood dream of being Nancy Drew when I grew up was never realised, obviously.

Now, my mum and I are close. I tell her things I probably wouldn’t tell other people. So it came as something of a horrible surprise when some guy in Nova Scotia contacted me to let me know he’d been receiving email from me for quite some now, and by the way, how was that rash coming along and had I ever located the source of that funny smell in the kitchen?

My mum’s name is Norma. My mystery correspondent was called Norman. You can see what I did there, can’t you?

Of course, after that, I totally learned my lesson and I was always really careful when sending email to make sure I was sending them to the right person, and not, say, sending them to be published on a national news website. Oh no, wait, my mistake: I didn’t learn my lesson at all, did I? Which is why, when my mum used the “send to a friend” function on the Sky News website last weekend to send me a link to a story, I just hit “reply”, without realising that my reply was going, not to my mum, but to the wesbite’s comment section.

Oops.

When I got a “Thank you for posting your comment on Sky News!” email a few minutes later I was, like, really confused and thought it must be some kind of mistake. And it was. But it was my mistake. D’oh.

I mean, it was an easy mistake to make. Anyone could’ve done it. Well, anyone with the brain of a gnat, obviously. And when I realised my mistake, I obviously learned my lesson for good this time, and made sure I never did the same thing ever again, didn’t I?

Er, no.  Because Outlook automatically saves the email address of everyone I reply to into my address book (note to self: make it not do that any more), which now contains entries for ‘Mum’, ‘Mum – work’ and ‘Mum – Sky News’.

Guess which one I’ve been sending my emails to?

This is why, if you happen to have visited the Sky News website this week you may have noticed a long comment from me asking someone to pick me up a certain brand of face cream next time they happen to be in Tesco. You’d know it was me because, er, my full name would be on it, plus my email signature, containing links to all of my websites.

Um, sorry, Sky News! But if you could send me that face cream, that would be grand, thanks!

(Note: although I did get another “Thanks for posting a comment on our website!” email, I can’t seem to find the comment in question, so presumably someone at Sky removed it. And probably banned me, into the bargain. Which would be fair enough, under the circumstances…)


10 Comments

  • Diane says:

    Oh my god, that's hysterical. I mean, I'm sorry for your stoopid, but you cheer me up no end, Amber, if that's any consolation… x

    <abbr>Diane´s last blog post..(an unimaginatively-titled post called) yay!</abbr>

  • Kate says:

    I recently stumbled upon your website, and after much reading and laughing (you are a fabulous writer) i felt compelled to tell you incase you hadnt found it – they sell FLUFF in the UK!! Well in at least Sainsburys and possibly Tescos, i bought some a while ago for about £1.50, in the cake making section i think.

    enjoy!

    • Amber says:

      Oh, really? I knew they sold it at Selfridges, but didn't know they had it in other places too (I don't get out much…). Will keep an eye out for it, thanks!

  • Mags says:

    Oh, Amber – You've made me and my husband laugh so much that we're crying! Maybe if Sky News doesn't come through on that face cream, Norman might be able to help out – he sounds nice :)

  • Steph says:

    :D Fantastic, you've made my week Amber…

  • Terry says:

    I found it funny when you picked up the business phone today and ignored our standard greeting, which is

    "hot igloo amber speaking"

    And said

    "Hello!….. Thanks for calling Amber, Hot igloo speaking"

    Oh how I laughed :)

    I would lol right now but you are sitting to the right of me watching classic episodes of 90210 and you would say "what are you laughing at!" and then I would have to explain, so I shall hold the laughter in :)

    • Amber says:

      Aaaand he manages to humiliate me on two counts in the space of just a few sentences! But in the interests of accuracy, what I ACTUALLY said was:

      "Hello! Hot Igloo speaking! Amber!"

      This is why I never answer the phone.

      And I was watching old episodes of 90210 for… research. Yes, research.

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