Trolling the Internet 101

Dear Idiot Teenagers who thought it would be a good idea to post a whole bunch of stupid comments on The Fashion Police this week, calling me an “idiot” and generally advertising your lack of brain cells:

It was not a good idea.

It was an even worse idea to use your actual email addresses to do it, though.

You actual email addresses that were issued by your actual high school. Your high school whose Internet connection you happened to be using at the time you posted the comments in question. Your high school Internet connection with an IP address that traced right back to… you guessed it!… your high school!

Also not a good idea? Repeatedly posting your mobile phone number, asking me to call you on it. And yeah, sure, it could’ve been a fake number, but given that you weren’t bright enough to use a fake email address, I’m going to guess it was real. Hey, guess what? The site had almost 15,000 visitors that day! That’s a lot of phone calls from potentially dangerous random Internet strangers you could be receiving, huh? So you’ll understand why I had to notify your school and ask them to notify your parents, no? It was my duty as a responsible adult. And as an ever-so-slightly vindictive one, to be completely honest.

Also? You’re SO grounded, chilluns. And on detention for the rest of the month, hopefully. Enjoy!

Love,

Amber

Seriously, I don’t know what they’re teaching kids today. In my day we knew how to troll a website, and we knew how to do it right. None of this “using real email addresses and posting from easily-traced IPs” nonsense. Honestly.  What is the world coming to when the youth of today don’t even know how to remain anonymous on the Internet? This was all fields then, you know…


22 Comments

  • Danielle says:

    Teenagers these day make me want to punch someone. And I'm 21.

  • Jennifer says:

    Today, two teenagers did the most foolish stunt in my Biology class – they ATE the Experiment! Yes. Now, was it made from food – yeah, food mixed with chemicals and 'made' in a filthy, germy, unknown chemical residue containing beaker.

    They ATE it. and then acted surprised when I lost my mind.

    Teenagers have No common sense. I'm only shocked that they didn't sign it with their legal names and give you directions to their homes.

    (how did they fix on you, anyhow?)

    • Amber says:

      Oh my good God! Although, to be honest, you could call that natural selection in action :)

      No idea how they manage to fixate on me: I guess I'm just lucky! The site is about fashion, so I guess it's of interest to that age group, which is something I'm probably always going to struggle with when they behave like this!

  • Selina says:

    I know some awesome teenagers (my daughter being one of them), but then there are others who really make you worry for the future of mankind. I hope those kids never breed!

    • Amber says:

      Yes, to be fair, I know there are some lovely teenagers who read the site, and who always comment intelligently, but I think it would also be true to say that the vast majority of abuse I get comes from that age group too. And they ARE breeding – this is the scary thing!

  • Amanda says:

    Ooo, I love revenge–er, setting things straight. It's delicious.

    • Amber says:

      Me too! And even if it's only one silly teenager, at least if she learns a lesson from it, that's one less silly teenager out there trolling the internet!

  • Steph says:

    Ha, awesome work Amber. I've lost count of the number of times I criticise teenagers, and I'm only just out of my teens. I feel old now…

    • Amber says:

      Ha, I used to crticize them even when I was one – sometimes they just make it too easy! Although, that said, there are idiots in every age group – it just so happens that they all seem to find themselves drawn to me!

  • Terry says:

    Unfortunately these teenagers are breeding, the future of mankind is in doubt. Maybe Will Smith will save us?

    • Amber says:

      I think our only hope is if the intelligent people breed faster…

      • Caroline says:

        Funnily enough I wrote a blog post relating to that a few weeks back – and worryingly I don't think it's the case…

        Maybe we should force-breed intellectuals? Better yet to sterilise the stupid!

        Hmmm. Methinks this is getting too controversial…

  • Caroline says:

    That is brilliant – I'm in fits here! SO glad you contacted the school – genius! Unlike the teenagers in question…

  • Hayley says:

    Though their stupidity shouldn't amaze me, it still does. This, the generation that has always had computers around…you'd think they'd know something about how to conduct themselves online…

    • Amber says:

      I know! It wasn't the nastiness or stupidity of the comments that surprised me, because I'm used to that by now, it was the fact that they'd managed such an epic fail in the "anonymity" stakes…

  • Julie says:

    Lol! Good work, Amber!

  • Milly says:

    One word: awesome.

    I will now resume lurking.

    <abbr>Milly´s last blog post..90% of LGBT teenagers in USA suffer harassment</abbr>

  • Milly says:

    Yikes, didn't know the comment would include a link to a random Lesbilicious story! Now it looks like I'm sarcastic and subtly blaming you for harasssing teenagers in the USA…

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