I don’t know “nothing”

I’m feeling a little better today. Only a little, but hey, at least I wasn’t up all night waiting for the sweet release of death, so that’s something.

In a break from our regularly scheduled “Woe is me!” programme, then, I present an email I received this morning from one “Cathelina Waldron”, who I can only assume has stumbled across one of my posts on the subject of 80′s fashion over at The Fashion Police.

Cathelina writes:

“First off i want to say that CLEARLY you dont know nothing about fashion if you state that 80s fashion is a crime of fashion, and also you stated that there was very little about 80s fashion to love. I just want to say that you are wrong, you just have to love everything about the 80s fashion. In case you havent already noticed the 80s fashion has laid out the foundation for the fashions that we have today. In fact 80s fashion is still in fashion. You must feel really dumb for posting that. Considering it makes you look like you dont know anything about what you are talking about. if you need examples i will gladly give them to you to present to you how wrong you are about 80s fashion, and how it is infact, still in fashion today! “

(Spelling and grammar as in the original. Imagine the text of this email in bright pink to get the full effect.)

So. Obviously I had no idea I was supposed to run all of my opinions past this woman, who clearly has the authority to tell me that I “have” to love certain things. This has seriously concerned me: I wonder if there are other things out there that I “have” to love, but don’t, because Cathelina hasn’t written to me yet to tell me what my opinion should be on them? Maybe I should ask her to give me a list of all the things I “have” to love? Hmm.

All sarcasm aside, though, can you even IMAGINE getting THAT annoyed about someone’s opinions on shell-suits and puffball skirts that you feel the need to email them an ugly rant? Seriously, I have no idea what Cathelina’s problem is, but I really hope she’s getting help for her obvious issues…

I also hope the wind blows really hard and messes up her hair.

30 Comments

  • Steph says:

    Oh dear, oh dear… And it's not even a full moon, is it?

    And 80s fashion *is* criminal… search your feelings, Catherina! You know it to be true! :P

    P.S. The Fashion Police is made of win, fie on all the haters.

    • Amber says:

      Ah, thanks for saying that! I actually had to check my diary just yesterday because I was convinced it must be a full moon.Turns out the full moon was a couple of weeks ago, so God knows why all the lunatics are coming out this week!

  • Kat says:

    She surely cannot be serious. Please tell me you were making this up. LOL. I am practically in tears over here.

    The 80's are beyond anything I have ever seen or experienced in bad taste to date. There's no decade worse than the 80's unless you'd consider the stone ages etc.

    Still laughing…thanks for sharing this. You just made my day.

    Hope you will feel better soon.

    <abbr>Kat´s last blog post..All I Want for Christmas are Anal Beads?</abbr>

    • Amber says:

      Oh it's real alright, and the sad thing is that this is actually a pretty mild example of the kind of email I get. The best one was someone telling me I "deserved to be shot in the head" because I said I quite liked a certain hat. Apparently there are a lot of people out there who really struggle with the whole "freedom of speech" thing, and go totally out of their tiny minds at the very idea that a random stranger on the internet doesn't share their taste in clothes. In a way it's flattering that my opinion is so important to them, but I do wonder how they'd deal with something really bad…

      • Selina says:

        My suspicion with people like this is that something really bad has happened, and their inability to cope leads them to vent their repressed emotions onto smaller issues.

        Also, 80's fashion – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I was a teenager in the 80's. I had the ridiculously tight perm, the ankle socks with high heels, the fluro colours, my dad's cardigan, acid wash ridiculously tight jeans, large brightly coloured geometric plastic earrings. Make the memories stop, for the love of God!

  • Um, you should totally get those "examples" off of her. Also, "Cathelina Waldron"? Is she on Gossip Girl or something?

    <abbr>Amanda Nicole´s last blog post..I'm getting grey hairs in my stocking this year</abbr>

    • Amber says:

      God, YES! It sounds totally Gossip Girl! Hee! I was tempted to ask her for the examples just for the laughs, but I figured any further communication from her would probably be equally unpleasant, so I filed her message under "Deleted Items" instead. After copying and pasting it here, of course :)

  • No. And I also can't understand why message board trolls think that I'M the one with issues because I post a blog post about a guy who took a photo of his HAIRY STOMACH!

    And I also won't understand that these trolls get mad because I have Windows Vista and Microsoft Paint. THE HORROR!

    <abbr>Kristabella´s last blog post..Bacon Answers Questions From Long Ago</abbr>

    • Amber says:

      Wow, people are just crazy. And to be honest, I think if you're posting pictures of your hairy stomach on the internet, you could probably be accused of soliciting the attention…

  • As someone who was old enough to speak during the 80s, I can attest that it was a fashion bad dream, in which giant Barbies looted a Day-Glo processing plant. For the good of the world, rest in peace 80s.

  • Stephanie says:

    okay,I experienced the fashion of the 80's (the first time!) and the LAST thing I want to do is wear it again! The pictures from the first time are embaressing enough!

  • Amy says:

    Priceless. So glad you shared this, I'll be giggling all day. Wonder if there is someone out there to stand up for the many hideous fashions of the 90s.

  • Diane says:

    I love the idea that 80s fashion laid the foundation for the fashions of today… weren't there some decades before that??

    But sadly, nothing will mess up her hair if she's wearing it 80s style – those 'dos were ALL hairspray. x

    <abbr>Diane´s last blog post..please win</abbr>

  • Erik (Sorrento) says:

    Well, Sarah Palin's 80s Thriller jacket worked out well for her. Oh wait…

  • Am says:

    That is so funny. You kind of have to feel a little sorry for Cathelina… I imagine her dressed in some kind of pink puffball skirt made out of shiny shell suit fabric and perhaps a yellow top (?) And her hair – 'shaggy' perm with roots… NICE! (actually I'd have loved to look like this…WHEN I WAS 10 – which was you know, in the '80s…)

    • Amber says:

      Every time I get an email or comment like Cathelina's, I imagine the person dressed JUST LIKE THAT :) It's hard to feel insulted by someone dressed like that, so all you can do is laugh, really!

  • Veronika says:

    Well, I actually do like SOME (key word here SOME and not much to be frank) 80's fashion. Like I sometimes wear crazy colored leggings and short short mini's (like for crazy parties, and sometimes we go to 80's parties, hey it's all in good fun;))and leg warmers (it's really cold here people, bear with me;)) but I LOVE the fashion police and mostly agree with ur opinions;) Like Shell-suit and puff-ball skirts are so the work of pure evil and should be wiped off the planet:D

    That lady needs therapy.

    All my Love Amber,

    Vee

    • Amber says:

      Oh, it's not the fact that she disagrees with me that bothers me – hell, people disagree with me all the time and it doesn't bother me at all! It's the fact she chose to send me such a rude email, calling me an "idiot" etc. As long as people voice their disagreement in a polite way, I'm fine with it!

      It does always amaze me the way that some people react to The Fashion Police as if it's a REAL police force, though – they take it so seriously! And the fact that a random stranger on the internet doesn't like the same clothes as you shouldn't be enough to make you send them a rude email calling them an idiot!

  • Caroline says:

    Just wanted to drop by and say… have a great holiday! (That wasn't supposed to rhyme, btw, it just somehow did.) Have fun!

    <abbr>Caroline´s last blog post..Love Earrings? LoveErin!</abbr>

  • Stephen says:

    Actually, I've always been kinda proud of not knowing nothing. I'm in a small percentage of people, I think. You should be proud too! ;+)

  • Lucy says:

    Haha this is my favourite bit: "it makes you look like you dont know anything about what you are talking about."

    That was seriously entertaining, you should have a whole new blog dedicated to the all the ridiculous emails that you recieve, and then all the authors of those emails can be outraged and you can blog about that and it can go on and on and on.. oh wait, maybe that's not such a great idea…

  • Anna says:

    I absolutely love how she's trying to sound smart and completely failing.

    Poor thing, she's probably sitting around in a neon shell suit trying desperately to learn the rules of grammar.

    <abbr>Anna´s last blog post..Oui oui (and poo poo)</abbr>

  • Claire says:

    I agree with you entirely about the eighties, Amber. I think the entire decade should be erased from history fashion-wise. And to make grave matters worse, they’ve taken already atrocious pieces from the eighties and MADE THEM WORSE. Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? And why couldn’t they have picked a flawless decade to bring back? There are plenty- the twenties through the fifties would be perfect in my opinion. But the eighties? WHAT? Drop crotch pants… a la Hammer, obnoxious neon, cut up t shirts, gross leggings…where does it stop? Maybe I’ll take a cue from Antigone’s father and stick knitting needles in my eyes.

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