“Blinglish” – the type of English used in blog comments

Terry pointed out this morning that my last post here was not only several days ago, but was also a post in which I insinuated that if there were no further posts, er, I was probably dead. Whoops.

Well, I’m not dead, although thanks for the massive outpouring of anxiety, folks!  I’m just lazy busy. Also, The Voice hasn’t spoken again since, and if I can’t give you tales of mysterious voices which speak in my bedroom, then what can I give you? Absolutely nothing has happened recently. It’s just been all work and no play, and you know what that makes Amber, right? Yes, it makes her a CHUNKY MONKEY. I know this because someone very kindly left a comment on The Fashion Police to that effect this morning. The full text of the comment read:

“That dress looks like all ur faces! Don’t hate the player hate the game! Ur chunky monkeys! “

Geniuses walk amongst us, folks, they really do.  And just imagine, there’s a dress in the world that looks like ALL my faces! Wow! Not just one of my faces, ALL of them! And I are a chunky monkey – sorry, monkeys, plural, whee!

Another excellent comment from today, this time concerning one of my “Ugly Prom Dress” posts:

“naw aint no way in hell she must was on drugs or something need to kill herself asap”””thats sad a hot mess omg omg omg omg omgll”’

Omg omg omg omg omg, indeed! Because a bad dress is totally good reason to kill yourself, “naw”? ASAP!

After some consultation with my Twitter followers, I have decided to give this bizarre type of English used by tween blog commenters a name. I am going to call it “Blinglish” – the type of English used in blog comments. And, having named it, I am now adding it to my list of Things I Would Ban If I Ruled the World.  A further example of “Blinglish” can be found here, incidentally).

I’m quite liking being a Chunky Monkey, though.

Hi, I'm Amber. I'm a full-time fashion/shoe blogger from the UK, and this is the story of my life, my clothes, and the International Man of Mystery Next Door. You can read more from me at my other blogs, The Fashion Police and Shoeperwoman, and you can follow me on Bloglovin' here.


  • Reply January 27, 2009


    If you listen very carefully, you can just about hear the sounds of the English language crying itself to sleep…

    • Reply January 28, 2009


      It's a sad, sad day for it, to be sure. And I suspect we haven' even seen the worst of it yet!

  • Reply January 27, 2009


    I would just like to know how these oh-so-special people find you!

    <abbr>Tracey´s last blog post..Stuff and things</abbr>

    • Reply January 28, 2009


      God only knows. It's always been the same, though – if there's an idiot in the world, I can guarantee they'll find me sooner or later!

  • Reply January 28, 2009


    I love the overuse of quotation marks. What does double quotation marks mean?

    <abbr>Kristabella´s last blog post..House Hunting = EPIC STRESS</abbr>

  • Reply January 29, 2009


    Dear God almighty woman! I've been holding a vigil for 5 damn days now!!!

    <abbr>Leslie´s last blog post..November 27, 1994 to January 27, 2009</abbr>

  • Reply February 2, 2009


    I've been thinking, could we create some sort of a wiki style site where bloggers can post the comments they've received from stoopid peole? The ones that use blingish to the excess and/or generally abuse the blogger? I know we all get them, and they're usually quite frankly hilarious!

    For example, yesterday I received a comment on a blog post I wrote in December asking why my posts were like a month behind…

    <abbr>Caroline´s last blog post..Descisions</abbr>

    • Reply February 2, 2009


      *Splutter* That's a classic – what idiots people can be! I think a Wiki site would be a great idea, and make hilarious reading. I'm totally starting to save up examples…

  • Reply April 18, 2009


    I laughed at both of those people. Why are the people that leave hate comments always the ones that sound least intellegent? Bahaha chunky monkeys. I want someone to call me chunky monkeys. Plural.

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