I'm laughin at yoos!
I'm laughin at yoos!

Yo, peeps, Rubinman in da house! Yes, it’s really ME, the R-Man! I’m here because, it’s like, I read Amber’s last entry? The one where she’s whining about me peein on that “radiator”? And it was as I thought. They see me peein’: they hatin’!  So, like, here’s my side of the “story”. I think you’ll find it’s quite different from what Amber tries to to tell yoos.

So, I have called this entry “Watergate”, and the reason I have done that is because it’s about me peeing in the house. Hee! Do you see what I did there? Do you? Do you?

Anyway, yes, I have been peein’ in the house. Like, A LOT. I’ve not just been peeing ANYWHERE in the house, though: the Rubinman is more cunning than that. No, I’ve been peein on the radiator in the office, and I’ve been doin it every chance I get. Which, like I said, is A LOT.

Before I go any further here, I just want to clear one thing up. Amber and Terry? Them? They’re all, “Wah, Rubinman! Peeing on the radiator is not big and is not clever! Wah!” But, as with so many things in life, They are WRONG about this. Wrong, wrong, WRONG. They are so wrong they could not BE more wrong. Because peeing on the radiator IS big. And it IS clever. And don’t let anyone ever tell yoos differently, kids, srsly.

Here is how I do it, just in case yoos need any tips: I wait until They go to see “Gym” and THEN I do it. They go to see this “Gym” dude almost every day. WHO IS HE? Who is this mysterious “Gym” and why do they go to see him so much? (Also, I gotta say this, but they dress like a couple of asses when they go to see “Gym”. Sorry, but it’s true.  Lycra pants, Amber? Really?)

Anyways, I put up with this “Gym” crap for a while. And then one day I was just like, NO. ENOUGH. I’m not puttin up with this ONE SECOND more. Because I like it to be all about me all the time, you know? And when it’s all about “Gym”, it’s not all about me? So, like, this “Gym”, dude? He is takin the attention that is rightfully mine. Srsly, I am ALL about the attention, so I am totally goin to hunt down this “Gym” and I’m going to bite his bum. It’s, like, Gym? If you’re readin’ this? You better worry, dude, and I’m not even jokin.

So, it’s like, that’s the story of WATERGATE. (God, I totally crack myself up sometimes, I really do.) I’m goin to keep doin it until they crack. I think that might have been today, actually, because when they came into the office and they saw the pee, their faces were all mad and they were, like, goin insane? Hee! And what’s funny about THAT is, they haven’t even found the pee I did ON MY OWN BED yet, either. LOL!

Smell yas,



No one puts Rubinman in the corner!
No one puts Rubinman in the corner!
  1. Rubin old son, I would advise you to suggest to Terry & Amber to remove the radiator and screw it onto the garden fence.

    That way you could continue to pee on the radiator and also get out a bit more.

  2. Peeing on the bed comforter is a lot more effective. And make sure you do it right after it comes back from the LON-dree.

  3. From Fluff, of couse

    Darling, you know I fell a little bit in love with you when I first read your posts and wrote to you because I felt that loving you might be incestuous cos we may be related? Still love you to bits and so pleased to hear from you again. This is a bit like Dogs Reunited (my missis has just joined such a fun thing cos she was with a lot of folks before her dear husband (her words, I never knew the fella) went to a different life. There’s a heckofalot I don’t know about the lady, y’know but she does whisper things to me sometimes – and I wouldn’t repeat them anyway. I’m too good to be true, she sometimes says to me. How’s that – just don’t get ideas from this letter cos I’m a very good girl anyway!! That’s all for now but I’ve missed you and I thought lost you for ever. Love to you from my old lady (?) also. She is very old but always laughing. Fluff xxxxxxxxx

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