Oh, GOD. Godgodgod.
Remember that time I mis-typed my mum’s email address when I was adding it to my Outlook address book (because, hey, we ALL spell our mother’s name wrong sometimes, don’t we?), and, as a result, spent a few weeks sending emails that were meant for my mum to a bloke named Norman instead?
Or the time – OK, the few times – I sent emails intended for my mother to SKY NEWS by mistake?
Remember how I swore I’d finally – FINALLY – learned my lesson, and would never, ever be that stupid again, because, seriously, who keeps making the same stupid mistake, over and over and over again?
That would be me, then.
See, my email does this thing. Every time I reply to a message, it stores that person’s email address in its memory, and it keeps it there FOREVER . And ever. And when I open a NEW email and start typing in the recipient’s name, it tries to guess who I’m going to email, and it pops their address into the “to” box. This is how I have narrowly avoided sending my mum’s messages to a person named “Mumtaz”, who once emailed me in 2007, several times this year.
But this post is not about me misdirecting emails to my mother. Not this time.
No, this post is about how a gentleman named Terry, who is not my husband – I repeat, who is NOT my husband – received a message from me yesterday. A message that – you guessed it – was not actually meant for him! Because THIS Terry – Terry-who-is-not-my-husband – wrote to me a few months ago with a question about my website. And I replied to him. And yesterday, for reasons best known to itself, my email program decided that every time I started to type the name “Terry” into the “To” box on an email, it would assume I was trying to contact Terry-who-is-not-my-husband. As opposed to, you know, Terry-who-IS-my-husband.
Yes, Terry and I send each other emails. Yes, even although we sit next to each other. This is not as mad as it sounds, though, as these would be work-related emails, ones that have maybe come to me by mistake, say, and which I have to forward on to him. Or they’re sometimes links to funny stuff we’ve found on the internet and want to share. Or, as in this case, they’re maybe emails I’ve received that I THINK may be spam, but that also may not be, and that MIGHT just be important, and because Terry happens not to be at his desk at the time, I forward them on to him with a note saying:
“I get this crap a lot now.”
And then three kisses – xxx. Which I’m sure Terry-who-is-not-my-husband appreciated. I mean, I hope he did, because it was HIM I sent that email to. Yes. Oh hell, yes.
It could’ve been worse. I mean, given that I THOUGHT I was emailing my husband, it really could have been worse, couldn’t it? I COULD have sent him the email saying, “What’s that smell, has Rubin farted again?” for instance. Or I COULD have sent him one saying, “GOD, everyone who emails me is a total asshole, srsly.”
So, you know, silver linings!
Of course, there is a way to stop your email from automatically filling in some poor random person’s name when you start to send an email. It’s a really easy way. You, of course, already know how to do it. And, it’s like, you’d think I would have known too, no? Or would’ve at least tried to find out the first few times I pulled this stunt.
But no. Not I.
Because I do this crap a lot now. And I don’t seem to be able to stop myself.*
(*I have now managed to delete the email addresses of Terry-who-is-not-my-husband, Mumtaz, Sky News and Norman-from-Canada from my computer’s memory. They won’t be hearing from me again. Someone else might, though because I didn’t get to be this stupid by actually learning from my mistakes.)