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If it wasn’t screwed on…

26 May

I think it would be fair to say that I’m not exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer a lot of the time. In fact, sometimes I can be downright forgetful.

Take last week, for instance. On Monday, Terry and I went to visit his mum, taking Rubin with us, as usual. When it was time to leave, we both got up, walked to the door and opened it. It was only as Terry, who was in the lead, stepped out of said door, that his mum called out to ask if we were intending to take our dog home with us at all, or were we just planning to leave him there?

(Damn, another plan thwarted.)

We went back for Rubin, of course, but my jacket was not so lucky: Terry’s mum called us on Tuesday to let me know it was still hanging in her kitchen, where I’d left it, so basically I’d just got up and walked out of the house when it was time to go, leaving ALL of my possessions behind me. This is something I haven’t done since I was a kid, when the school bell would ring and I would just get up and leave. Twenty minutes later I’d be back to collect my bag, coat and other sundry items… Actually, no, that’s a lie: I HAVE done it since then. When I was a journalist, I used to occasssionally drive to work, and only when I was getting out the car would I realise I’d left my handbag (complete with EVERYTHING I’d need for the day) and coat at home. I’d also regularly leave my headlights switched on, thus ensuring I’d leave work at night to find my car battery was completely dead. Fun! (The car I have now has an alarm that goes off if I try to get out of it when the headlights are still on. I wouldn’t have bought it without that feature.)

Then, on Thursday? I decided to go to the library, to return the books I’ve now renewed online three times because I didn’t have time to actually GO to the library. (Or, indeed, to read the books, which was annoying, because I don’t feel like myself if I’m not reading a book at all times.*) I was halfway there before I realised that, whoops, I hadn’t actually bothered to bring the books with me. THEY were sitting on the table in the living room. Not that it mattered: I mean, I’d have had to turn back anyway, on account of how my rearview mirror chose that moment to leap dramatically off the windscreen, landing in my lap, and adding a frisson of “Oh my God, I hope the police don’t see this!” excitement to my return journey as I attempted the drive home while holding it up in front of me, like a hand mirror.

I did manage to get to the library eventually, but I’m sure the teenagers at the bus-stop, which I passed six times in the space of 20 minutes, probably thought I was a spy, hired to keep watch on them. A really half-assed spy, obviously, because as I passed them for the final time – yes! – my mirror fell off again.

Gah.

On Friday, the washing machine died. Boom! Goodbye, money! Hello, shiny new washing machine that we didn’t really want, but will have to buy anyway! (This didn’t actually have anything to do with me being forgetful, of course, but even so, people, EVEN SO. Can you imagine a less satisfying major purchase than a freaking WASHING MACHINE?)

I’m not even going to mention the few hours Terry spent searching the house for my car keys (he’d had them last, so he was on “searching” duty), which were eventually tracked down to the interior of HIS car.

Oops, I just did. Sorry, Terry.

 

* I did eventually read the books, by the way. It just took me much, much longer than usual…

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  • Comments 12 Comments
  • Categories Random Acts of Stupidity
  • Author Amber

12 Responses to “If it wasn’t screwed on…”

  1. Stacey 26. May, 2009 at 4:19 pm  Stacey(Quote) #

    I don’t usually forget things, but my last job I had, I hated it. The day I quit, I walked out, went to my car, got halfway home and realized I forgot my coat. I had to turn around, drive back to the office and walk past all the people that knew I quit, grab my coat and leave again. If it wasn’t a brand new coat I wouldn’t have bothered. What made it worse is that on the elevator ride up, I was stuck with my boss. I had to explain that I was only there for my coat. Slowest elevator ride ever.

    Reply
    • Amber 26. May, 2009 at 6:09 pm  Amber(Quote) #

      Eeek! How awkward! I guess the relief at quitting would probably make it easy to forget the coat though!

      Reply
  2. Kristabella 26. May, 2009 at 4:36 pm  Kristabella(Quote) #

    I do things like this too, although not to the extent you seem to. :)

    Like I had ONE thing to bring to my friend’s Saturday night, a few books for her to borrow. So I put them by my purse. And then I still forgot them, so had to go back home to get them. I mean, if she was inviting me over to drink beer, the least I could do was give her some books!

    Kristabella´s last blog post..And My Arms Didn’t Even Fall Off. Surprisingly.

    Reply
    • Amber 26. May, 2009 at 6:09 pm  Amber(Quote) #

      Ah, I do things like that ALL the time. In fact, if there’s only one thing I need to take somewhere, you can guarantee that’ll be the thing I’ll forget!

      Reply
  3. Amanda Nicole 26. May, 2009 at 5:33 pm  Amanda Nicole(Quote) #

    I always do that with library books: I renew them the maximum number of times that I can renew them, and I’m lucky if I’ve finished one of them.

    Amanda Nicole´s last blog post..salty & sweet

    Reply
    • Amber 26. May, 2009 at 6:08 pm  Amber(Quote) #

      Oh, me too – but somehow I never seem to manage to escape the fine! This time they tried to charge me £2.50, even although I thought I’d renewed them on time online. Apparently not, though…

      Reply
  4. Zoe, Conversation Pieces 26. May, 2009 at 9:59 pm  Zoe, Conversation Pieces(Quote) #

    Ha! Glad not to be the only one who does things like that. All my forgetfulness happens in the morning – I leave things out in plain view to remember to take to work with me – and then walk right past them on my way out. It’s one the big reasons I miss my chalkboard front door from my old flat – me and my other half always used to leave myself notes on it so I would see them on the way (the other half’s usually said ‘remember your lunch’!)

    Zoe, Conversation Pieces´s last blog post..Tea party for Ava…

    Reply
    • Amber 27. May, 2009 at 2:19 pm  Amber(Quote) #

      Yeah, mornings are the worst for me too. I don’t think my brain was designed to work at that time. Or, indeed, at any other…

      Reply
      • Zoe, Conversation Pieces 27. May, 2009 at 4:40 pm  Zoe, Conversation Pieces(Quote) #

        Ok, I’m vaguely blaming this post for my mini disaster this morning… I do early morning yoga before work on a Wednesday and I forgot to bring my dress to change into (brought my shoes, tights, cardi etc but no dress)! So I spent this morning at work in my gym kit – it was like the grown-up equivalent of forgetting your gym kit and being made to do it in your pants!

        Obviously not your fault at all – but a strange coincidence after reading this post last night! ;)

        Zoe, Conversation Pieces´s last blog post..The coolest cat bed?

        Reply
  5. Sophie 27. May, 2009 at 5:40 am  Sophie(Quote) #

    I always do that sort of stuff! Once I went all the way out to see my grandparents so I could show them something (don’t remember what it was, I’m too forgetful!) and then realized I hadn’t brought it at all. Then I left my jacket there. Another time, my parents bought me a really expensive bracelet, then while I was camping I left it there. Never found it. Argh!

    Reply
    • Amber 27. May, 2009 at 2:18 pm  Amber(Quote) #

      Oh dear! I swear I have jackets in every house I’ve ever visited, though – my mother-in-law says she’s going to start selling them on eBay, I leave them there so often!

      Reply
  6. Squib 28. May, 2009 at 1:54 pm  Squib(Quote) #

    Oh, good. I’m reassured by your post & the above comments that I’m not going prematurely senile when I do exactly the same thing. Today I went out at lunchtime to post a weighty envelope at the post office, only to find when I got there that I’d left the envelope on my office desk. Anyone else swear in a most unladylike manner when they discover this?

    I attribute it to stress and a bit of aging – my memory capacity is as full as a teenager’s PC hard drive.

    Last month I walked off & left £40 in a cash machine for some “lucky” person to pick up. That hurt.

    S

    Reply

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