Inside the mind of a dog
Sometimes I look at Rubin and I think, “GOD, what is that on his face? Has he been eating cat droppings again?” “You know, I really wish I was him.” I mean, not in respect of the Eating of Unmentionables, obviously. And, all things considered, I’d probably prefer not to have to pee in the garden. (Which, funnily enough, isn’t Rubin’s preference either.) But every day in Rubin’s life is just a voyage of discovery. Everything Terry or I do is utterly, utterly fascinating to him. It’s just one new and thrilling thing after another – even when it’s just exactly the same as yesterday in every single respect.
To illustrate this, here is a quick glimpse inside Rubin’s head, starting from the point where he wakes up in the morning:
“Awake. OMG! OMG! This is the best day EVER. Whee! Wait, is that…?
AMBER & TERRY OMG! I totally haven’t seen them for SO! LONG! Excitingexcitingexciting! AMBER & TERRY WHO WOULDA THOUGHT IT?!!! WOW!
Outside. Pee. Peepeeepee. Hee! Best. Day. Ever. OMG! Soooo much fun, peeing in the garden, I think I… OMG! POST WOMAN! POOOOOOSSSSTTTT WOOOOOOMMMMMAAAAANNNNN!!! Alert! Alert! Warning! OMFG! Attack! Attack! SO. HYSTERICAL. AAAAARGH! AAAARGH! AAARGH!
Inside. Just can’t get over it. Can’t believe it happened. She was, like, in my driveway and everything. I will never forget it as long as I live. EVER. Maybe sleep now, though.
Awake! OMG Amber is sitting on the bed putting her makeup on!!! Aaaaargh! I want to sit on the bed too! Can I sit on the bed? Can I sit on the bed? Can I sit on the bed? Can I sit on the bed? Can I sit on the bed? Can I sit on the….
On bed. OMG! Best day ever. Best moment of life. WOWOWOW! Cannot belieeeve it! Amber putting makeup on. SO. INTERESTING. Cannot stop looking. Am not going to take my eyes off this. Stare. Starestarestare. STARE. Maybe sleep now.
AWAKE! OMG Terry is … he is GOING DOWNSTAIRS! Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? OMG!OMG!
Downstairs. Terry opening fridge, aiiiieee! WOWWOWWOW. Best day of life! Give me something. Give me something. Give me something. Give me something. Give me something.
HE GAVE ME SOMETHING OMG! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Back upstairs. Watching Terry intently. SO. INTERESTING. Will not take eyes off him. Stare. Starestarestare. OMG AMBER! Is going into bathroom! WOW. Am going to get in before her! Ruuuuuuuuunnnnn!
Fail. Will never get over it. Outside bathroom door. Waiting. Will wait here for as long as necessary. Staring at Terry while waiting. Fascinated by him. Will watch him forever… OMG AMBER! IS BACK! WOWOWWOW! It’s been SO! LONG! Whee!
And that was all before 10am. Wouldn’t it be great if we ALL got so much excitement out of the simple things in life?