Green Dress Update

Remember my beloved green dress? The one that was tragically and mysteriously LOST?

Well, it’s still lost.

Sorry, I just realised that the start of this post probably made you think I was about to tell you I found it under the living room rug or something, and oh, how I wish that were true! (Note to self: check under living room rug.) But nope, no such luck. The green dress is still as lost as ever it was: probably even more so, to be honest, given the time that’s now passed since it was last seen.


I have bought a new one! Yes, a NEW GREEN DRESS! That is exactly the same as the OLD green dress in every respect, other than that it is new (with tags, no less!) and, well, NOT LOST. Well, not yet, anyway.

I found the dress last night, on eBay. You see, ever since that terrible day on which I was forced to admit to myself that I would, in all likelihood, never see the original dress again, I have embarked upon a strict regime of searching eBay almost non-stop for one just like it, using multiple different search terms, and calling upon reserves of patience which, to be totally frank, I had NO IDEA I even possessed. There have been days when I’ve forgotten to feed and clothe myself, but BY GOD, I’ve never forgotten to search eBay for THAT DRESS.

And then, last night, I found it. I don’t think that sentence really sums up my shock and excitement at this fact, so let’s see….


There, that should do it.

Of course, because my non-stop searching meant that I was alerted to the presence of The Dress almost as soon as it was listed, the auction still had a full week to run when I found it. And there was no way on earth I could sit it out for a whole week – I mean, quite apart from anything else, I have to sleep SOME time, you know? – so I emailed the seller and asked her if she’d add a Buy It Now. And then I sat and pressed Send/Receive on my email until she finally replied, several hours later, agreeing to sell it to me. If only I could apply this degree of dedication to OTHER areas of my life!

So, yes, new green dress, same as the old green dress. Brand new. With tags. In my size, and everything. Which kinda makes my whole “I will never, ever find another one like it! Wah!” thing seem a bit silly now, no? And, of course, it will not make me feel any better about What Happened That Night. (WHAT DID HAPPEN THAT NIGHT? It’s driving me insane!), and I will always wonder what happened to my original dress. And top. But at least I will have a new one now. And if the old one ever DOES turn up, then I’ll have TWO of them.

Mind you, I won’t be totally easy in my mind about any of this until the dress is safely in my hands. (I say “safely”  – I don’t think ANYTHING is really “safe” in my hands at the moment, especially given recent events) I mean, what do you think the odds are of this latest dress being lost in the mail? Or suffering the same, mysterious fate as the last one?

I’ll keep you posted. Because clearly there is NO LIMIT to the amount of posts I can write about this freaking green dress. GOD.

[Special disclaimer for all of the people who like to take every word I write super-seriously (hi!):
Emotions in this post may have been exaggerated for dramatic effect. May not have been, though.]