In the doghouse

Remember the shirt Terry got for completing his 10k run on the weekend?

It was white. Pristine. It had the name of the race on the front of it, and, this being the first race of this type Terry had ever competed in, he was fairly pleased with it. So, last night before bed, he took his brand new, sparkling white t-shirt, and he laid it out with the rest of his clothes, so he could wear it to the gym this morning.

Well, this morning came, and Terry got up and reached for his (brand new, sparkling white) shirt… And then Terry recoiled in horror, screaming.

Because on the shirt was….

was…

PEE.

Yes, pee. SOMEONE had peed on Terry’s pristine white shirt. Here’s a clue: it wasn’t me. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Terry. This leaves only one real suspect:

the-culprit

He did try to put the blame on TED, but Ted was out partying at the time, so we know it wasn’t him. We’ve tried to piece the events of last night together, and we can only assume that at some point while I was in the bathroom taking my makeup off and Terry was in the office finishing up work, Rubin has snuck into the bedroom and exacted his revenge on the white shirt. It does appear to a be a completely motiveless crime, which is confusing, but then again, Rubin moves in mysterious ways, his, er, wonders to perform, so he doesn’t necessarily need a motive for these things.

Strange Things About This Event: (other than the obvious)

1. Although Rubin will pee inside the house if he’s left on his own (or if he can sneak downstairs at some point), he does NOT generally pee upstairs: he seems to understand that this would be crossing a line from which there would be no coming back. So he doesn’t do it… UNTIL NOW.

2. Rubin has been trained to come and “tell” us if he needs to go out. He did not do this, even although Terry was right there. This suggests that Rubin deliberately targeted the white shirt and used stealth manoeuvres to pee on it. WHY? what did it do to him?

3. Although I know this post is going to generate a lot of “helpful” advice about how awful Rubin is, and how he needs to be trained, OMG, he actually hasn’t peed on any of our clothes since he was a puppy. The last time he did this, though, the item in question was ALSO a white shirt belonging to Terry: a pattern?

In conclusion: Rubin has basically peed all over Terry’s achievement with the run. Terry is not happy. The white shirt is currently being disinfected. The entire bedroom, in fact, has been disinfected. Rubin, meanwhile, is under close surveillance. I’ll keep you posted…

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