New Year, same old internet assholes
3 Jan
It’s been pointed out to me that I haven’t updated my blogs in a while. Now, I did warn people about this: two of the sites were updated throughout the Christmas period, and during the two-week holiday that preceded it for me, but because there is only one of me, and because I am not, despite popular belief, made of magic, there did have to be some down-time. Breaking news, folks: I’m actually a human being, and sometimes I need to take a break. Sometimes a long one. And sometimes, when I get comments like the one below, I feel like making it a permanent one:
Author : Jellybean
E-mail : too cowardly to provide one
Comment:
It’s been a month since you last updated. Sorry, but that’s just ridiculous when there are so many other blogs available that cover the same ground. After the recent downtime and server crash, this is the final nail in the coffin for me. Deleting my bookmarks for this and Realtor and moving on to greener pastures.
This was posted today on my beauty blog, Hey-Dollface, which was one of the sites I just wasn’t able to update during the break. That’s just “ridiculous”, isn’t it? Especially after the server crash that almost destroyed my livelihood and which, let’s just be honest, I totally did deliberately, just to annoy Jellybean. Because the world revolves around Jellybean, didn’t you know?
Needless to say, Jellybean WASN’T one of the people who offered words of support and encouragement in the aftermath of Black Friday. (And, you know, it was hard enough to deal with that, without people acting like we did it deliberately, and berating us for it. Trust me: we suffered enough.) In fact, she hasn’t ever commented on any of my blogs, as far as I can tell: she’s just lurked there silently until today, when she apparently decided she couldn’t get through one more moment without lashing out at a complete stranger on the internet. This is fairly typical of blog commenters in general, sadly: slow to praise, very quick to flip out and start deleting bookmarks. Including the bookmarks for Realtor, apparently, which is interesting, because, er, that’s not my blog, it’s my mum’s. As it happens, my mum lost a very precious friend a couple of weeks before Christmas. THAT is why she hasn’t updated her blog (which, by the way, she writes as a HOBBY, so sorry, but she doesn’t owe you anything, Jellybean) - but, of course, people like Jellybean don’t think or care about the things that may be happening in a blogger’s life. They think we exist purely to provide a source of free entertainment for them: they don’t need to thank us for doing it, but by God, if we ever dare to stop, they’ll suddenly discover the “comment” button, and tell us how much we suck! (Albeit with a “Sorry, but…” Because that phrase makes it absolutely fine to be rude to someone!)
Unfortunately, this kind of comment is becoming the norm every time I take a break. I had a flurry of rude comments when I got back from Florida earlier this year, all to the effect off “It’s been too long since you updated, so you’re a bitch : UNSUBSCRIBE!” The logic of this really confuses me: I mean, telling me you’re never coming back isn’t exactly an inducement to me to start blogging again, and the loss of a reader who sends me rude messages… well, it’s not really a huge loss, is it? I will be honest: in the time I’ve been blogging, I’ve had a few “I’m never reading your blog again!” messages, and without exception, they’ve come from people who sound like absolute assholes. And I’ve been relieved to know their authors will never bother me again: in fact, I’ve often blocked their IPs just to make sure they stick to their resolution.
Despite the fact that this has turned into a huge rant (Happy New Year, folks!), it’s not actually about Jellybean. It’s also about the very first email I opened this year, which was from someone who wanted to make sure I didn’t start the decade without being told that I’m such a bad writer I shouldn’t be allowed to blog at all. (Argh! Conflicting messages! One person wants me to blog ALL THE TIME, without any breaks, the other wants me to be BANNED. FOREVER. Aargh!) It’s about the fact that I almost made myself ill (AGAIN) before my holiday, writing advance posts for The Fashion Police to make sure I didn’t get angry emails from the people who read IT, too… and got a bunch of negative comments instead, from people who obviously felt that the content wasn’t good enough: probably because one person (with the help of a handful of guest bloggers) had to write four week’s worth of content in advance, and it’s just not possible to do that without people being able to spot the difference.
I feel like I can’t win. If I try to make sure the sites are updated while I’m away, people complain about the (unavoidable) drop in both quality and quantity of posts. If I DON’T make sure the sites are updated while I’m away, people send me rude messages telling me off for daring to take a much-needed break. The obvious answer is to pay someone else to update the sites while I’m gone, but unfortunately we just can’t afford to do that, so I’m left with only one option: never take a break, and just update the sites myself, 365 days per year. And actually, that wouldn’t work, either, because if I don’t get regular breaks, the quality drops anyway. It makes it hard to know what to do for the best: I feel like no one really appreciates it when I make the effort to write advance posts, but if I DON’T go to that effort, I get comments and emails like the one above. Gah.
It’s particularly galling, of course, when these complaints come from people who have never bothered to comment before. If people don’t comment, then I assume no one is reading. And if no one’s reading, I assume it’s fine for me to take a break now and again – after all, no one will miss me. So when I come back to find random people telling me I suck for taking a break, it comes as a surprise, and feels a bit unfair. In a way it’s flattering to know that my blog is SO IMPORTANT to these people that the loss of it makes them forget their manners, but at the same time: how was I supposed to know they would miss it? If they never bother to tell me they’re reading, I don’t think it’s very fair for them to write and tell me they’re NOT reading. That just reeks of entitlement, and makes me wonder why I bother, to be honest. (To clarify: I’m not trying to bash lurkers here. It’s absolutely fine to read and not comment: I do it myself sometimes. All I’m saying is that if you never comment, the blogger won’t know you read them, so it would be unfair of you to complain about them taking a holiday.)
Umm, this wasn’t AT ALL the post I intended to write today, which was going to be about the fabulous New Year we had with Erin and David in Edinburgh, and how we got a police escort off the Royal Mile at midnight (but still managed to see the fireworks). That’s how I want to remember the start of 2010, and how I hope it will continue, despite people’s best efforts to bring me down. I don’t want anyone to go away from this post thinking that the Jellybeans of the world are achieving their objective and managing to ruin my happy thoughts or anything: they’re not, but the issue of what I do with my blogs when I’m on holiday is something Terry and I have been discussing a lot recently, and it’s something I need to find some kind of resolution to – ideally before my next break, whenever that may be! I figured letting my thoughts about it out of my head and onto the page might help me free up some headspace and let me get on with enjoying the rest of my day: and, of course, any advice you may have is welcome (as long as it doesn’t start with the words “Sorry, but…”!).
Well said Amber!! Let’s hope the idiots take heed and get knotted
xx
I hope so! Even if they don’t, though, it felt good to get it off my chest!
Holy crap, what idiots. I don’t think you need me to tell you that they’re idiots and that it’s not really about what you’ve done because you know that, but I’ll tell you anyway (I can’t help myself) Your blogs are your business, and you should run your business in a way that makes it suit your life. You’re not a machine, and you need to take regular breaks or you’ll crack up! To be quite honest, I think that pushing yourself hard to provide content for when you’re on holiday is beyond the call of duty! The assclowns will comment negatively, but your many many appreciative readers do understand that you don’t exist solely to entertain them, you know? Anyway – I’ve rambled for too long. I think your blogs are great and that you’re doing a bloody good job. Happy New Year! x
Roisin´s last blog ..They say he’s capable of boiling an egg in less time than it takes to boil an egg!
Thank you so much! And you made a really good point here, too, about running the business to suit our lives. Although my blogs ARE a business, we’re not in this for world domination, or because we expect to make a fortune out of it (although it would be nice, obviously!). We started our business because we wanted to be able to make a living doing something we enjoyed, and because we were both sick to death of stressful jobs which forced us to live to work, rather than the other way around, which is how I think it should be. I love what I do, but the holiday issue has started to be of source of huge stress, which defeats the purpose of having this kind of business. It’s wonderful that people miss the blogs while I’m away, but I do rather resent getting rude emails from people who seem to feel I exist purely for their benefit!
And another thing – I do wonder how on earth the Jellybeans of this world cope with, you know, everyday life? Do they get this incensed when shops close at night, on Sundays or bank holidays? The image of someone sending angry emails to every shop that was closed on Christmas day amuses me: “First you close up at 10pm every night, but the closing on Christmas day is the final nail in the coffin. I boycott you!’ – I know that is an extreme example, but really. Take holidays, take breaks, let Jellybean and her like continue to curse the sun for going in at night and the rain for falling. Morons.
Roisin´s last blog ..They say he’s capable of boiling an egg in less time than it takes to boil an egg!
Haha, I know! I wonder if she’s emailing every single blogger who’s taken time off recently? It’ll take a long time, if so!
As someone who worked retail through Christmas before, they probably are the same people who get mad when you close early on Christmas Eve because they still have more to buy, even though, you know, Christmas isn’t exactly unexpected.
I read your blog, and subscribe to it via RSS, which is something I only reserve for blogs where I don’t want to miss a thing. I don’t comment a great deal BUT I really do enjoy reading it. I find your posts observant, funny, relevant, well-written, heartfelt and passionate. I think the majority of your readers also feel the same way … so, what I’m trying to say in a roundabout and longwinded way is: Don’t let the basttards grind you down.
Happy New Year!
ElementalGrace´s last blog ..In a Nutshell
Thanks! I’m trying not to let them get to me this year – I suspect the recent blue moon may have something to do with the strange emails I’ve had over the past few days, too!
Considering that most of the planet takes a break from Xmas Eve till the beginning of January (especially magazines and bloggers) I do not see the crime in you closing your blogs over that period. However there are some peculiar people out there who think it is acceptable to go round bashing people and sending nasty emails, I say those people need to take a flying jump or try walking in your shoes. So easy to point the finger and be negative isn’t it. I think the fact that you run so many blogs is amazing; you are doing just what Shiny Media used to do and they had a great team of people.
Ondo Lady´s last blog ..Nancy Meyers
“I say those people need to take a flying jump or try walking in your shoes.”
Exactly! I just wish more people would try to understand that just because they read your blog, it doesn’t mean they know what’s going on in your life, or why you might need to take a bit of time off. If a blogger I read reguarly suddenly dissapeared for a couple of weeks (as in the case of my mum’s site), I’d be more likely to send them an email asking if everything was OK, rather than one saying the absence was “ridiculous” and I would never read their site again!
I admit it, I’m a long-time lurker. Here and on your other blogs. The reason being that I enjoy your writing style and your sense of humour. You are bookmarked and I do check every day. I don’t comment because I often feel that I have nothing productive to add and I tend to keep a low online profile.
The fact that I read your blogs makes me realise how hard you work doing what you do. You deserve your holidays, in fact, everyone who works hard deserves a holiday. So, yes, whilst you are away the posts aren’t coming thick and fast but you know what, you’re just one woman, and the fact that you make sure that posts are still coming is a good thing.
The bad thing about the internet is that it allows people to act like morons without feeling bad because they’re not saying these things to somebody’s face but just anonymously into a computer and how can words on a screen hurt anyone! People forget that not all websites are run by hordes of people, but maybe just one or two, sat at home, typing away all day, every day.
Ignore the trolls, embrace your loyal readers. Keep doing what you’re doing
Thanks for commenting! As I said, I have no problem at all with people lurking – I do it myself sometimes, and for the same reason as you: sometimes there’s just really nothing you can say! I think my problem is really with people who comment only when they have something negative to say. If they’re a regular reader then they’ve presumably been getting something out of the blog, so it seems mean-spirited to only ever comment when they want to complain, and it seems particularly illogical to complain about lack of posts from a blogger who didn’t even know the complainer was reading! But some people are like that, unfortunately, which is what makes comments like yours all the more welcome: I suspect there are a lot more nice people out there than nasty ones!
Oh Amber! Idiots! I got my first negative comments on the blog last month and it knocked me a bit. I know we shouldn’t let the b***ards grind us down but it’s hard to ignore them sometimes. I’m trying to start this year with a “My Blog: My Way!” attitude and I’ve been trying to imagine how you would handle things. I think you are a fantastic blogger with the courage to say what you think, the skill to say it well and the tenacity to keep on posting. Breaks are absolutely essential, as you say, and I’m astounded that anyone thinks they have the right to comment on yours.
rachel pattisson´s last blog ..Christmas Post
I know exactly how you feel: negative comments are part and parcel of blogging, unfortunately, but that doesn’t make them any easier to deal with. I don’t think there are many jobs where people are expected to allow people to be rude to them, and not say anything in return, and that’s the thing I find hardest, actually. There’s this idea that bloggers must never respond to criticism, and should always just “rise above it” and not let it bother them, but you’d have to be super-human to not feel hurt when people go out of their way to hurt you! I find “delete and ignore” is normally the best policy, bu sometimes (like today) a bit of a rant helps you get it off your chest!
Happy New Year to you all! I’m one of those lurkers but I do occasionally pop up and leave a comment. How awful that people really seem to think it’s okay to attack you – the great problem with blogs is that it is just so very easy to insult people anonymously. People like Jellybean should be ashamed. Mentally unstable as they are, their words still hurt. There’s a lot of jealousy obviously – you’re young and pretty, self employed and have a lovely husband (also self-employed), family and most important of all, Rubin. It’s easy for we, your readers, to say ‘ignore them, they’re stupid’ but I know that must be really difficult.
Can you afford to hire an assistant for the times you are away? It won’t stop the people who are determined to upset you but it might keep some of them at bay.
Anyway, what I want to say is that here’s one person who likes you, I love your blogs and am happy to wait until another one is posted! Keep up the good work. xxxx
Thank you for the lovely comment
The “hate” comments are something I’ve never really been good at dealing with – it’s my biggest challenge as a blogger, and it does sometimes sting to know that there are people out there who’ve taken time out of their day to have a go at me for whatever reason. I can’t imagine ever wanting to spend time trying to upset a complete stranger on the internet, but people do it – I’ve always assumed it must make them feel better about their own failings in some way, which is a pretty sad state of affairs.
As for the holidays, we have considered hiring someone, but we’re not quite at that stage yet: hopefully we will be soon, though – it would really take some of the pressure off!
I’m sorry, but….
That woman deserves a slap. You deserved that holiday, and how much (or how little) anyone blogs is no one’s business but their own. They’re you’re blogs. You know if you can afford to take time out – and it’s never easy for a freelancer to do that. Still, seems like whilst you were having awesome holidays and Christmassy funtimes, she was sitting in front of her laptop for the last month waiting for an update. Now, blogging is great an’ all, but so it getting out and having some fun…
Still, it’s nice to have to you back
siany´s last blog ..Merry Christmas from everyone at Domestic Sluttery!
That’s exactly what I thought about the “you should be banned from blogging” comment I got on New Year’s day! I thought, “Hmmm, while I was out having a wonderful time with my friends and family, you were trying to make someone you don’t even know feel bad.” Says a lot about these people, I think.
I’m the same as Sally, in that I rarely comment but always enjoy your posts. I don’t understand this attitude that some people have that you ‘owe’ readers a lot of posts. They’re not paying for the content, so they have no right to dictate how much you should write. Perhaps they’d change their mind if they sat down and wrote as many posts as you already do!
Some people thrive on being negative and rude. Hopefully the fact that so many of us adore your blogs outweighs the random nasties.
Emma Cossey´s last blog ..I’m still here!
That stinks. Don’t let them get you down, Amber. I love your writing style, and find it to be funny, thoughtful, and exuberant. I’m sure your personality shines through. Have you considered disallowing anonymous comments? The cowards usually steer clear of those situations.
Happy new year to you, Terry, and lovely little Rubin!
Some people are morons. Those people are the ones who steal your content and rant about your posts (or lack thereof).
They should not be allowed near the internet…or other people…or to procreate in fact.
I’d much rather you had a holiday and were a happy amber (with new boots) than you burned yourself and your blogs out.
Stupid morons
Stupid
LizSara´s last blog ..Looking Forward 2010 Alterations
People really don’t make sense on the internet. Just because you don’t know this person face to face, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t get pissed off when you post unecessary, bitchy comments. I really do doubt that ‘Jellybean’ would have said this in real life.
I hope you haven’t let this ruin your winter holiday. People are dumb, but don’t blame that on yourself, eh?
Its quite obvious she has not life whatsoever, and hangs on your every blog post, you must have had a serious effect on her to make her go balistic like that, flattering in a way really.
If you ever need a hand I’m here, I can do posts about the rest of the family/whats going on when your away or just keep it updated and keep up with any questions/comments, whatever, and I dont need paid..
Thanks, Lila, that’s really kind of you to offer! It’s not actually this blog the complaint was about, it was about my beauty site – I don’t think people would bother getting angry about an absence of posts on this one! Mind you, I didn’t think they’d get annoyed about Hey, Dollface, either: people will never cease to surprise me!
Just want to echo what’s already been said here, there will unfortunately always be mean-spirited people out there but please know that there are plenty of us that love your writing and appreciate that your blogs are not written by a machine. You blooming well deserved that holiday! So a great big BOOOO to Jellybean and their ilk, keep doing what you’re doing, the way YOU want to do it.
Anne-Marie´s last blog ..Happy New Year!!
As the other commenters have rightfully pointed out, your blogs are wonderful, you have hordes of grateful, loyal readers, and both the quality of all your blogs, the fact that you have so many readers, and that (for the most part) those readers recognise what a fab job you do is an absolute testament to all yours and Terry’s hard work.
It should be patently obvious to anyone who reads your blogs/follows you on Twitter etc that both of you work really hard, and that alone is more than enough reason to justify taking a break (at Christmas, I hasten to add! When most people in all other office-based jobs are happily sitting around feasting on mince pies and not having to fret about malicious internet strangers). Add that to all the stress of the last couple of months for you two and I’d say you’re more than justified in taking such a well-deserved break.
It’s a frustrating situation, and emails like that will always hurt, but hopefully it’s a comfort that the majority of your readers respect and love that you put so many bazillions of hours into making your business a success, and salute you for it. Like a couple of the others have said, I did miss your posts whilst you were on holiday, but only because they’re so entertaining. As I’m sure is the case for a lot of your readers, I recognise you deserved a break and would never begrudge you for it!
Also, gorgeous picture – I agree a lot of these nasty emails are probably prompted by jealousy – you, Terry and Rubinman are a mighty good-looking trio!
Jane´s last blog ..The Last Decade, in Words and Pictures
Sounds to me like you’re suffering from growing pains due to too much success. No bad thing overall!
Of it were me, I’d be looking for other writers at the same level, who will surely have similar problems. Surely there must be a reciprocal arrangement in there for you?
You’ve got the good kind of problem there all-in-all. It’s nice to be popular, even if one has to put up with the odd “hater”
Hope you’re enjoying the success!
Yes, we’re basically at the stage where the sites are really too big for one person (well, two people – Terry does all teh tech stuff, but none of the writing) to manage, but not quite big enough to be able to employ other people. I have thought of some kind of reciprocal thing, but the problem there is that I’m already struggling with my own workload most days, so I’d hate to commit to doing something for someone else, and then not be able to do a good job. I’m hoping this year will be the year we’ll be able to get some extra writers on board: stuff like this makes me more determined to get to that point for sure!
That sucks that people can be so mean spirited. Where do they come off with such a false sense of entitlement? Oh well. Glad you had a good holiday & New Year’s. Welcome back to the world of crazy.
First of all, happy new year, and adorable pic! Secondly… TROLLS. They are one of the modern world’s greatest mysteries and pains in the ass. Maybe you could turn your comments off, on this blog anyway, while you’re away. You could mention it in your last post before going away so that your nice, regular readers know, and of course, we’ll completely understand.
On my blog I make it compulsory to include an email. While this doesn’t help much for spambots, I think it deflects the anonymous trolls a bit.
Amanda Nicole´s last blog ..a proposition: the longhand rally
It wasn’t actually this blog that comment was posted too, it was Hey-Dollface, which requires the comment to be approved before it appears (had to do this just before Christmas because another blogger decided to attack my personality there, for reasons that still aren’t really clear to me, but hey ho!). Email is required, but it’s so easy to get around, and people just make up a fake email, which is what Jellybean did. I think it’s just one of those things I have to learn to live with, unfortunately – I suspect that if someone really wants to be an asshole, they will find a way to do it!
Oh you poor thing, not again! I think that, unfortunately, the more prolific and talented you are on the web, the more people seem to take against you without even the faintest warning. You could take it as a strange backhanded compliment, but of course that is one hell of a lot to ask, and instead I just ask that you don’t let it stop you writing.
As for the issue of going on holiday, I think it is totally your right to go away for as long as you ruddy well want. Have a 2 year hiatus in some isolated peruvian village, if you wish. Whether or not you cover the posts, heading to the hills to relax and unwind is your pregorative. Do it as much as you want!
If you do need some help, I don’t doubt that you have a veritable army of co-bloggers and co-conspirators in the craziness of life who would step in without a seconds thought to help you write, and publish, and respond to comments! Just let us know!
Digital hugs winging your way. And Happy New Year, despite the haters!
xxx
Lauren´s last blog ..Icy Days and Resolutions
Just commenting to show that I read your blog(s) every single day!
Sorry you’ve had problems with people leaving nasty comments – i’d definitely prefer to have less posts of high quality than useless daily posts as useful as tweets.
Don’t think this comment makes sense so sorry about that but please (!) keep on blogging!
Carys x
I realise this is a little blunt, but fuck ‘em.
There are SO many morons that seem to be empowered by the anonymity of the internet. Two things they ought to remember; first off – if you’ve got something to say, have the balls to quote your name and email address. Secondly, unless you write a blog you have no real idea how time consuming it can be and quite frankly ought to shut up.
As I said to you on twitter earlier today, I sometimes wish I had a higher readership on my blogs but I realise how lucky I am to not have to deal with this sort of crap.
Hopefully the rest of 2010 is a crash-free / troll-free zone! x
Beth´s last blog ..B’bye 2009
Sympathies – and support from here, being a fan of quality writing. Quality not quantity: I’d be keeping reading even if you were only posting once a month. So there to the Jellybeans. Sounds like someone jealous who can’t write, anyway. And jellybeans are meant to be eaten. That’s their only purpose in life.
Happy Gingerricious New Year!
Juliet´s last blog ..more on that f***ing business
What I don’t get is that you gave us readers advance warning that you were taking a break and it might be longer then normal because of the holidays. I myself was sad but was glad to know that you would soon be back. Plus, I look forward to seeing what you been up to during your breaks. If you never left your computer, what would you write about? I wish people would think a third time before writing people they don’t know a rude email.
Well I just wanted to say that I’m bummed that someone wrote you that but I’m glad to see you in year twenty ten and can’t wait to read more!!!!!
Lizz Dot Kay´s last blog ..smoken
I often wonder who these Jellybean types are – we must come across them in real life, but as far as I can imagine I’ve only ever met one person capable of that attitude.
I just hope that the percentage of people responsible for idiotic/nasty comments follows the same pattern as that identified by the police, where just a few people are responsible a large proportion of crime in an area…
First up – your blogs were among the very first I started following on a regular basis, and to this day they’re still my favourites. In fact you were the main inspiration behind me starting my own fashion/beauty blog!
Jellybean needs to change her name – I think Sour Lemon would be more appropriate. The world is full of horrible, mean spirited people and unfortunately the anonymity of the internet gives them a bravery they wouldn’t have in real life to voice their petty, unkind and intolerant thoughts. I’ve always taught my kids that people like that are unhappy and lacking in confidence under the surface, and they are to be pitied. I just a read Tweet from Jane of Sea of Shoes who commented that she is so much happier since she disabled comments on her blog – she’s only 17 and although she strikes me as very confident I can’t even begin to imagine how much of an impact negative comments could have on someone of her age. I haven’t had any negative comments on my blog yet, but I have to admit that the thought actually scares me!
Happy New Year from New Zealand!
Selina´s last blog ..Your daily dose of pretty: Flower Cameo necklace
I’m a constant reader and commenter- usually under the alias Hoshi, since the Internet is a scary place at times… anyway, ignore the meanie-faces! For every nasty commenter, there’s a ton of people who love your blogs- my favorite is The Fashion Police, but Shoeperwoman’s great too!
Give your mom a big hug for me- it’s tough losing people you love.
Happy New Year from North-Western USA!
Pooh to all of them Amber. I love you and your blogs!
Tracey´s last blog ..This week’s flowers
You know, the only blogs I know that continue to operate during the holiday are either the ones ran by a team of people or whiny teenager blogs (which is not on the same level of quality as the former, obviously). I’ll admit that I was sad when I found out that the blog would be delayed for the holiday (oddly enough I read this one and hey-dollface more than the fashion police these days), but I would boycott for it. What was that other person saying? I think there’s just something about the internet (anonymity + an audience) that turns people into complete idiots. I bet you Jellybean wouldn’t say that to you if she had to do so to your face.
I’d also like to say that if anyone is saying anything bad about you or your blogging style, they obviously don’t know what they’re talking about! I’ve been timidly considering starting a blog for a while now and reading your work is what’s made me take the jump and do it (glossamer-beautyblog.blogspot.com). So, if anything, I’d say your work is good enough to inspire chickens like me to get out there.
People who are such assholes like that arent worth the time or the audience, anyway. I’m what you call a lurker, rarely commenting but always reading- and I enjoy reading all of your blogs. Even when one doesnt get updated for a span of time, its not even an annoyance- because you ARE human, just like I’m human and everyone of these nasty comment-ers are human. I have a blog, on a much smaller scale simply for personal use, and I have a hard time updating it on any kind of regular schedule because there are *other things going on in my life more important than blogging*. This is something that everyone needs to realize. LIFE happens and goes on outside of the internet, and sometimes things come up. We need breaks before we burn out on something we are passionate about. There is no shame in taking a break.
What it really boils down to is I’m sure you have a lot of loyal readers who continuously come back to the site- and after a break of any span of time- they’ll still be there. They are the readers who matter- not the jerks who flee at any moment that is convenient for them. Keep your head up, you write wonderfully and full of talent, and thats something to celebrate. Take the necessary breaks, and dont worry about what people may or may not bitch about. At the end of the day your talent, faithful readers, and the things that matter, will all still be there.
hey, all my bookmarks vanished and it’s taken me days to FIND you again.
And if you haven’t been posting so much over the holidays, hey, I haven’t been on-line much these last few weeks anyway.
But… not to pick an argument with you or anything…
but you are Made of Magic.
Sorry but…I love your blog. I really LOVE your blog. But I am not so sad and lonely that if you decide to take a wee break, that I melt down?!!? That is just bloody ridiculous! You keep doing what you are doing Amber – including taking holiday and let the saddos delete you and go somewhere else.
Happy 2010.
Mandi x
Nothing new to add really apart from keep up the good work and don’t let those sort of people get you down. For some reason, some people believe that when you start a blog you commit to entertaining them, for free, on a constant basis, into the future. Thankfully, those people seem to be in a minority!
Happy New Year! xx
Gemma´s last blog ..NYX Lipstick Swatches
Hi there, I discovered your blog today via Caroline (secondhandshopper.wordpress.com) and I am quite surprised at the comment Jellybean left you. I personally subscribe to many, many blogs (and just added yours to the list!) and I personally never would stop reading a blog if the updating became less frequent. In fact, it can be a relief sometimes since keeping up with so many blogs can be exhausting!!! It seems completely counter-intuitive to unsubscribe for this reason. If a blog posts too frequently, or with posts that do not interest me, then I may well hit the unsubscribe button. For those who only post once in a blue moon, I might change the folder options in my RSS reader to ‘dead feeds’ so it doesn’t clog up my feed list and at least this way, I would still not miss any occasional posts. I would also never email someone telling them I didn’t like their blog – I can simply not read it if I feel that way.
Well, anyway, this longwinded comment is really just me saying ‘that is really weird’ and I am sorry your new year has started out shakey on the blogging front. At least you have a new reader in me, if that is any consolation!!!!
ps I am also a tad impressed that you have such an impassioned readership (either for or against) – I am fairly sure I could drop off the blogosphere with nary a comment!
Kate´s last blog ..Resolute to-do list
Aww so many nice comments
I also wanted to wish you a happy New Year! About the topic, I agree with all of the above comments and your statements of course. About your mom, I think her blog is cool and I’m sorry that she lost a good friend. I hope you get my Christmas card soon. Take care you two 
Best wishes from Germany
Nina´s last blog ..I wish I was someone better
Definitely agree – don’t let those kind of stupid comments get to you! Hope you had a good new year and stuff. I did – although not helped by my car not starting this morning !
Criminy! I don’t know what’s weirder – berating a blogger for having the unbridled temerity to take time off from work at Christmas, or feeling the need to contact said blogger specifically to point out that they are no longer reading your blogs (it smacks of ‘I’m not talking to you! And I had to talk to you specifically to tell you that I’m not talking to you!’)
I love your blogs and am always pleased to see updates – but I am well aware that it is *your* blog, and it’s up to you to decide if and when you add new posts. It’s certainly your prerogative to take holiday time (heaven knows, I didn’t do a bloody thing over Christmas except stuff my face and watch TV).
So to summarise – your blogs are awesome, you are awesome, and in the words of the inimitable Stephen Fry, pah, poo, and pants to anyone who says otherwise.
Lordy, lordy…
I have many blogs on my bookmarks, divided into beauty, fashion and ‘general’.
I think you are the only person to have a blog in each of these categories on my laptop! Like Selina, you’re network was the first group of blogs I really started to follow with interest.
I was interested enough to go through every single one of your posts on Hey! Dollface one night when I couldn’t sleep. Took serveral hours, but I’m richer in lod product reviews for the experience.
Sure, a lack of posts is never the preffered option for a reader but it’s totally understandable when you work so hard, seemingly by yourself. It isn’t the end of the world and I think the only time I’ve un-bookmarked a blog was when it was closed down! I just don’t understand how people can complain about such things. The archives of past posts are there for a bloody reason!
It’s just so easy to forget that behind the blog is a person. An awesome one at that.
So carry on blocking their IPs, you’re only helping them stick to their New Years Resolutions.
Twats!
Every site grinds to a halt over the Christmas period so I think jellywhatshisface needs to get a life…or a family….or friends. Which seem to be what keeps people busy over the holidays.
I’ve been a reader of your stuff ever since the handbag wedding days (when I used to lurk – I’m now married!) and when theblonde used to link to your site and I didn’t think you were gone for too long.
Stuff them and enjoy your life!
I love your blogs and must confess to being a terrible lurker!! As everyone has already pointed out – most sites were closed for the holiday period. Does Jellybean not work perchance and does not know that ‘real life’ means you get to take a well entitled break every now and again?? Or did the Christmas TV schedule changes mean that Jeremy Kyle wasn’t on and they were stuck for something to do?
Also – I liked the guest posts! Whilst a regular reader can probably tell it’s not the same writer (from style as much as the big ‘guest post’ clue) it doesn’t detract from the quality and it is quite nice to have a different tone every now and again.
Ignore the weirdos and jealous freaks! The online world allows the strange, the rude and the downright crazy a voice that you wouldn’t hear or pay attention to in the ‘real’ world.
I for one will keep on reading (and probably lurking a bit) as long as you keep on writing
Caroline x
One of my new year’s resolution after a particularly difficult 2009 is to be a bit more selfish and look after myself more. If someone is going to be so unreasonable to suggest that you don’t deserve a holiday along with the other 6 billion people that exist on this planet, screw ‘em.
You may have lost one reader in jellybean, but you gained one in me just this week, along with several friends who I have been constantly raving to about Hey, Dollface! I’ve actually developed what some might deem a slight addiction to reading this blog, and am actually choosing to read it over getting my rather needed beauty sleep. Perhaps another NY resolution, get more beauty sleep? Hope the holiday leaves you well rested and refreshed to bring us more beauty news!
x
People are just stupid. Did I miss the updates from you and the nice, rambly post like this one? Well, yeah, but I was on holiday from work and so were most people. Since this is your work, you deserve a vacation as well. Some people just feel they are more important than others. Whatever they think, I’m glad you’re back.
She must be one of the flavors of jellybeans no one likes.
Seriously, though, your last Dollface post before you went on break was titled “Pre-Holiday Product Haul.” What was she expecting?
Leigh´s last blog ..Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Dark Chocolate and Peppermint Lip Butter
Hey – just catching up a little, sorry I’ve not been about.
I’m going to ignore the negativity of idiots, and the rant about it (!), and simply say: What a brilliant photo! You both look so happy. It’s really nice to see. :+)