Hey, remember that time the low battery warning on our carbon monoxide detector started frantically PEEPING in the middle of the night, and we couldn’t work out whether it was the friendly “Hey-diddly-ho, neighbour, my batteries are staring to run low, might want to think about replacing them soon!” warning, or the more ominous “OMFG, you are all going to die!” warning, so Terry just removed the batteries altogether and went back to sleep, while I lay awake all night waiting for death to come and claim me? And then I started writing really long, run-on sentences about carbon monoxide detectors all the time, and life was never the same again?

Well, it happened again.

At 3am.

* heavy sigh *

Once again we awoke to the frantic PEEP! of the alarm. Once again we went through the whole “Are we going to die? Is that the low battery warning? Where are the spare batteries? Did you use up all the spare batteries in your camera again, and forget to recharge them? Should we open a window? Hey, what time is it, anyway? Are we DEAD? Have you seen my sunglasses?” thing.

At 3am.

And once again, having tried every single battery in the house and been unable to stop the ear-splitting “PEEP! PEEP!” of the carbon monoxide detector, Terry simply removed the batteries altogether, and went back to sleep.

And I lay awake all night wondering if we were going to die.

You know what annoys me most about all of this, though? Other than the fear of certain death, obviously? Well, we’ve had that carbon monoxide detector for as long as we’ve had this house now. We’ve had this house for… longer than I want to think about, actually. And in all that time, the carbon monoxide detector has NEVER run out of batteries during the day-time, when we’d be in our right minds (Well, Terry would be in his right mind, anyway. I haven’t been in my right mind since… I haven’t ever been in my right mind.) and able to deal with it in a calm and measured fashion. NEVER. Not once. It has always, ALWAYS happened in the middle of the freaking night, and I swear I’m not exaggerating. This time.

Also, in all that time, we have NEVER learned to distinguish between the low-battery warning and the “DEATH! DEATH! INCOMING! DEATH!” warning. Never. (By “we”, I obviously mean “I” here, just before Terry gets all over my comments section protesting his innocence.) And that is because those two warnings? Are ONE AND THE SAME. I am sure of it. I HATE that freaking carbon monoxide detector. It’s obvious to me that the thing is just being an ass now. There are some inanimate objects that I love, and will carry in my heart forever. And there are some that are clearly EVIL, and are out to get me, and are probably possessed with the spirit of some old medieval witch, upon whose grave our house now stands, or something like that. Yes, carbon monoxide detector, I AM looking at you. (Radiator in the living room, I’m looking at you too.)

Can you tell I didn’t get much sleep last night? Can you?

The Morning After
  1. I hate any kind of beeping, it’s enough to drive me to distraction at the best of times, but in the middle of the night? Your carbon monoxide detector IS being an ass.

    I was woken up the other night by the stupid wee girl in the flat next door. I had gone to bed early because I had fallen over on my way to work and really hurt my shoulder, and I was just drifting off to sleep after finally having found a comfortable position to lie in, when she started making really weird, really LOUD noises. Not like sex noises, which I could live with, but whooping and giggling and gurgling…I can’t describe it, but it went on for ages. I was SO grumpy all day yesterday as a result.

    So, in summary, weird noises in the middles of the night: evil. Pure evil.
    .-= Roisin´s last blog ..Fashions fade, style is eternal. =-.

      1. It did wreck my head the other night. Normally the noise we get from her is pretty funny though – she is always having ridiculous arguments with her boyfriend. We live on the top floor and she buzzes him into the building, lets him climb the 5 floors to her front door, and then won’t let him in. I’ve lost count of the times we’ve heard them conducting an argument through her letterbox!
        .-= Roisin´s last blog ..Fashions fade, style is eternal. =-.

  2. I see your Carbon Monoxide detector and raise you alarm callouts for false alarms at regular half-hourly intervals all through the night. Just as you’re dropping back off to sleep…Zzzz…BOOM! Off the phone goes again.

    I feel your pain, things like that suck. Have you considered one of the detectors that has a digital display for level readings and battery level rather than just making random noises at ridiculous times? We have one and in the three or so years we’ve had it the batteries have never needed changing. I used to have a dog who quaked with fear whenever the smoke alarm batteries got low, it was horrible to listen to her cry 🙁

  3. I see LizSara’s house alarm and raise her the fire alarm at uni, which used to go off for hours in the early hours of the morning (the late hours of the night?). It was always a drunkard cooking (burning?) toast, and we used to have to stand outsdie until the firengine arrived and declared it safe.


    And the fact I have been out of uni for nearly 2 years now doesn’t make it any better!

  4. My dad had a carbon monoxide detector that he had to take away in the end….he lives above a shop and whenever cars were left running outside and his windows were open his alarm would assume death was imminent and would start to wail. So now it’s gone and he has to take his chances.

    However, my friend has one and it DID save them from a sneaky old boiler, so I suppose they are good….but oh so bad!

    We don’t have one….so now I’m thinking I’m going to die for not having one, but then I don’t have a gas boiler…or any boiler for that matter so does it matter??!! Ahh the joys of archaic heating!

  5. I had this with the smoke alarm last week..it is still sitting next to me with battery removed, I havent forgiven it yet..luckily its partner in crime is fitted upstairs so will do the job for now..till I find it in my heart to replace the lower levels’ ones battery..

  6. We have that very same detector. The other week it did the very same ‘running out of batteries in the middle of the night’ trick. Only I couldn’t get the battery cover off to shut the damn thing up. I ended up stuffing it under a cushion in the front room so we could no longer hear it and going back to bed. Deaf. (Those things are LOUD close up in the middle of the night.)
    .-= Fi´s last blog ..Ooo! Project! =-.

  7. Ours has a “test” button, and the wailiing sounds it emits when we press that is ear drum splittingly loud!

    Has yours got a button like that?

    It might not stop the batteries dying in the middle of the night, but it might mean that you could sleep easily knowing that the grim reaper was standing beside you, waiting for you to breathe your last, carbon monoxide laced breath!

    Hope you sleep better tonight! (and me too, having had a hotel “that’s the fire alarm” incident myself last night – see my other blog for that tale!)
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Out of town… =-.

  8. I think it is a hard and fast rule that they can only go off in the middle of the night. I absolutely detest them Also there was a smoke alarm in my mother’s house that would go off whenever someone was in the shower, which was very odd indeed. Apparently steam also set it off?
    .-= Hayley´s last blog ..*cough, cough* Is this thing on? =-.

  9. I raise all your peeping nighttime alarms with a “my neighbors playing the same song for five hours straight until 3 in the morning so loud the entire complex could hear it”. Then the next day, at 11am, they started-you guessed it-playing the same song again. There was some yelling and they haven’t done it since, but I’m not getting my hopes up. Also, strange crying noises that could be unpleasant sexual activity (I’m not sure), children screaming, and people banging on doors/laying on car horns for several minutes. And of course, all at completely inappropriate times. I’m going to become a hermit now.

  10. Ours does exactly the same thing – but usually when we’re leaving the house for a fun evening out. And then I spend the whole evening worrying that there’s an electrical fire burning somewhere inside the walls.

  11. Sometimes it does that because it needs to be aired out, not because of batteries.

    I never used to worry because the only gas I had in the apartment was the stove and my house was drafty enough that my stupid oven wasn’t going to kill me.

    But now I have gas EVERYTHING. So I would be the same way. And I would probably open the windows and move the head of my bed under said window. Or just sleep on the windowsill.
    .-= Kristabella´s last blog ..Kerfuffle =-.

  12. You can get these carbon monoxide indicator patches which change colour when it detects carbon monoxide…and it doesn’t require batteries, but they then have to be checked regularly. You could always team it up with your detector and so when it goes off you can check out the patches to see if its worth panicking and legging it out the house. That way you can sleep easy if its a false alarm! 😀

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