I wish this could be a more interesting newsflash for you, folks, but the things that live in our attic? Yeah, they’re mice. Not vampires. Not Nigel, the International Man of Mystery Next Door. Not even Shergar, or Lord Lucan, or some other famously missing person/animal, with a massive reward on their head.
This has been confirmed by a nice man from the council, who we finally called in last week, after another night spent listening to the scratching noises coming from directly above our head, and thinking about THAT scene in Paranormal Activity. (With the attic? And the going into the attic? And the DEMON?) . He came to investigate the situation today, and, of course, after waiting all morning for his arrival, TNMFTC arrived when I was in the shower, meaning that Terry had to deal with him alone, while I spent the duration of his visit trapped in the bathroom, which was a preferable option to running the gauntlet of the hall, dressed only in my ratty old dressing gown and a towel turban. (The hatch for the attic is directly outside the bathroom door. It wouldn’t have been pleasant for the poor man.)
I passed the time by re-organising the bathroom cabinet, and very nice it looks too. Rubin, meanwhile, passed the time by pretending that TNMFTC was a dastardly villain, sent to skin us alive and eat our brains for breakfast. I expect TNMFTC was absolutely terrified, which is a shame given that he now has to return every week, until our guests are gone, and by “gone”, I mean… well, you know.
(He put down traps. Apparently this is how our council deals with such things. I’m a bit upset about it, to be honest, because I had pictured the little mice being taken off to live out the rest of their lives in some sunny meadow somewhere. But I was trapped in the bathroom at the time, so the NMFTC got his way. Actually, maybe Rubin was onto something there?)
Anyway, one mystery is solved, and we now know that Nigel is NOT living in our attic. So where IS HE?