Things That Should Not Happen

1.  Pre-school age children should not be handed the car keys and invited to treat the vehicle as a giant toy. Cars are not toys.

2. Car horns should not be leant on for five minutes at a time.

3. Nor should they be blasted repeatedly for a similar amount of time.

4. Cars should not, under any circumstances, be treated as mobile discos. They are not mobile discos.

5. Houses are not nightclubs. They should not be treated as such.

6. Garage roofs are not for dancing on.

7. Nor are the roofs of garden sheds.

8. The Others should not throw raw burgers into other people’s gardens.

9. Or even cooked ones, for that matter.

10. Or empty beer bottles. (I mean, at least throw full ones, for God’s sake.)

Would anyone like to hazard a guess as to how many of these Things That Should Not Happen have, indeed, happened recently in this part of the world (and not all involving the same household, either)? Go on, it’s easy really…