Weird Email of the Week: Miss I-Was-Fat-Forever

During my break from personal blogging, it saddens me to report that people haven’t gotten any better at telling the difference between me and Joan Rivers. The E! channel’s Fashion Police show is currently back on the air, which means that every morning I wake up to a barrage of emails and tweets about a show I haven’t even watched, much less presented/produced. Witness:

—–Original Message—–
From: Someone who doesn’t know the difference between Amber and Joan Rivers 
Sent: 01 September 2010 02:20
To: Magic Amber
Subject: The fashion bullishit show 

I am whatching the Fashion Police “show”  I think you don’t have people have a knoledge, mrs plastic Surgery, Miss I was fat forever, and I don’t know Who’s the gay guy… What they talk and the criticism is sooo poor and low,I am sorry but can you get better people on you show?

Thank you ,

 Person Who Thinks Amber is Joan Rivers

I did have to laugh at “the criticism is sooo poor and low”, though, especially with THIS person’s piece of criticism being of such a high standard, and not at all “bullishit” (which is totally going to be my Word of the Week)! Oh, kettle, you’re sooo “poor and low”! Looks like kettle doesn’t have a “knoledge” of who is Magic Amber and who is Mrs Plastic Surgery and Miss I-Was-Fat-Forever. (Is it just me, or do these sound like characters you’d find at the top of a more adult version of The Faraway Tree?*)

(At least she said thank you, though. That was polite.)

Here is a handy clue for my correspondent, and all the other people who have been contacting me this week to complain about the plastic surgery etc:

NOT ME

Seriously, people.

(*There totally should be a version of The Faraway Tree for adults. Maybe I will write it, once I’m done with presenting US cable TV shows. Whoops…)

P.S. Speaking of weird email, Darika Aherns of Grapevine Consulting is currently running an excellent series on blogger outreach on her site: I answered a few questions about how PRs interact with bloggers here.

(Edited to add: We’re having an issue with the links at the top of the page at the moment, but Terry is looking into this and it will be fixed as soon as possible.)


19 Comments

  • Caroline says:

    I would buy that! But then, I adore the Magic Faraway Tree – it was so integral to my childhood.

    I do love it when insulting emails are so grammatically incorrect as to lend to open mockery – it is diffcult to be hurt by such badly spelled words! I always think it much trickier to be insulted while guffawing with laughter!

    Am also adopting bullishit. Sounds so much prettier than the original!

    • Amber says:

      Me too! I think Mrs Plastic Surgery would get on really well with "old Moonface" – they could have tea together every time the Land of Internet Weirdness came to the top of the tree!

  • Terry says:

    WHAT! You mean I am NOT married to Joan Rivers!?

    I obviously don't have a knowledge.

  • Arlene says:

    Please tell me that I'm not the only one who thought "adult" as in porno version…. no… ok just me then :/

  • Oh Lord. I swear, you get the craziest emails. Because no one else in the world calls something about Fashion "The Fashion Police". Nope, never ever heard of it anywhere else before.

    • Amber says:

      I know! I mean, if you wanted to contact the makers of that show, you'd just Google the name and then email the very first person who came up. I've out a "WE ARE NOT THE E! NETWORK" disclaimer on the contact page, but I very much doubt it'll stop people. I mean, my name is all over the site, but it doesn't stop PRs sending emails to "Jen".

  • Brittany says:

    Sorry this is not about this post, but did you know that the links at the top of the page to your other wonderful blogs are not working? At least not for me.

    So happy to have you back!!!!! I love your other blogs, but I always find this one the funniest and most enjoyable to read.

    • Amber says:

      Hmm, they all seem to be working OK for Terry and I… what actually happens when you click on them? Do you get some kind of error message?

      • Brittany says:

        No error, when I mouse over them it's not showing they are links. Just pictures. Maybe it's just me. But they do work on the Fashion Police for me.

        • Amber says:

          I… have no idea, in that case, sorry! I'll get Terry to take a look at it when he has a chance :)

          • Mhairi says:

            Hey Amber

            On this subject – we cant access any of the other blogs using the icons at the top of the screen either. There is no error message it just doesn't do anything – they just act like little pictures.

            x

        • Moni says:

          I second that. They work from The Fashion Police and Shoeperwoman to all your other blogs, but not from here.

  • Steph says:

    Ha, I was thinking of Mr Men characters but Faraway Tree works as well. Maybe you should update your 'About Me' section to add 'Absolutely not Joan Rivers' :P

    • Amber says:

      I've updated the TFP one, but I really need to do the rest! And yes, they could totally be Mr Men characters: Little Miss I-Was-Fat-Forever would rock the Mr Men's world!

  • Rock Hyrax says:

    Ah, you're a victim of your own SEO! ;-)

  • Mhairi says:

    I could have sworn that you and Joan Rivers were twins – if not the same person. Oh well thanks for educating me.

    On a serious note though thanks for returning to the blog, I have missed reading your blog – the others are great but just not the same as this one.

    Welcome home

    x

  • Laav says:

    Faraway Tree. That was among my first Enid Blytons. I loved the world that she created with Mr.Moonface and Dame Wash-a-lot.

    If you write a 'Faraway' book, I'd definitely buy it.

    'bullishit' made my day! XD

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