Alternative title: ‘How to Ruin Amber’s Outfit Shots: a dog’s guide’. This is a guest post by Rubin: enjoy!

Yo, homies, it’s Rubin here. Amber told me some of yoos was missing my “blawg”, and I was like, “Yoos better believe they’ll be missing my blawg. It’s not every day yoos get to hear from a real live WOOLF.” So here I am, live an’ unleashed. (Do you see what I did there? I, like, totally WAS unleashed in these photos. I crack myself up, I really do.)

Anyways, last week I took Them for a walk. They were all, like, takin stupid piktures and stuff for Amber’s shoo blawg (if there’s something more pointless than a blawg about shoos, by the way, I don’t know what it is. Shoos are just big chew toys, get over it.)? And I was all, “I wonder if there’s a way I could make this all about me?” And there WAS a way. And I found it.

Note:Β Some of yoos may find the following images disturbing, as they all show a really scary woolfman. Parental discretion is advised. Norma and John, don’t yoos look either, it’ll scare the pants off yoos.

Step One: Insert self into all piktures. ALL piktures. Try to look like a crazy dog if yoo can. (Note: I totally CAN.)

“Oh, sorry, Amber, am I in your shot? My bad.”

(If yoos could see my face in close-up in this one, you’d see the drool flying off my FANGS. I’m not going to show yoos it, though, cos yoos would, like, crap yourselves?)

After I completed step one, I was like, “I’ve started, so I’ll finish. I might as well just continue with the Being Terrifying.”

STEP 2: BE TERRIFYING

Yeah, I told you. Sometimes I scare even myself. And then I can’t sleep at night cos I’m like, “OMG, who is that scary woolf in the room?” Then I’m like, “Whew, it’s ME, haha.”

I can also run faster than the speed of light. That’s why I’m a bit blurry in this pickture, see? By the time you see me, I’m already miles away.

“Ooh, hai, lookit me! I’m Amber! I’m taking piktures for my shoo blawg! Because that’s not stupid.”

Terry tried to take one of them dumb “shadows” piktures. So I stood on his stupid head.

After that I rolled in something bad, and They took me home and put me in the shower. They’ve always got to ruin stuff, haven’t They?

No one puts Rubinman in the corner.

(OK, one time Terry put me in the corner. I bit his face off, though.)

Smell yas,

RUBIN

23 Comments
  1. I’m giggling like a crazy lady. But sorry Rubin, the picture where you’re sitting in the big metal L isn’t ruined at all, you made it better with your cute attentive sitting! Picture ruining fail!

  2. Ahh, Rubin blog post! Love it!

    Psst…Rubin…did you get the cardboard house yet? Terry promised you know…and he mentioned something about a ramp so you could get a better view from the window to bark/assert your wolfyness to the masses! But don’t tell ’em I told you!

  3. Oh, thank you so much for that, Rubin. What a laugh. It’s cheered me up so much – there’s a lot to be said for laughter therapy. πŸ™‚

  4. “…because that’s not stupid.”

    Oh holy hell I lol’d. And then I sent it to Jeff. And HE lol’d.

    And if Jeff lols? You know it’s good stuff.

  5. Hey Rubinman, I was totally thinking of you the other day and here you are.

    I was walking past River Island and saw this in the window.

    http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/knitwear/jumpers/creampandahoodknittedjumper-593939

    Are you getting checks from these guys copying your look? Or because they call them ‘pandas’ do they get away with it?

    Awesome photos by the way.

  6. Wow I was just reading Rubin’s blog the other day thinking how much I missed it! This was awesome!! (And totally scary of course!)

  7. You MUST have Rubin guest blog at least once a week! he cracks me up – he also looks like a small version of my dog Burt – who by the way talks a bit like Rubinman..hum..

  8. Ah, you can’t but want to hug him though. The first and last pictures somehow remind me of this hyrax photo by Andreas Tusche:
    http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dassie3.jpg

  9. I’m laughing so much at this post, sooo funny! my dog also has a tendency to appear in my outfit posts, such limelight stealing divas eh? Absolutely love your blog by the way, added to my favourites xx

  10. Rubin, Jessie (aka Big Black Dog) would like you to know that in a show of dog solidarity she also rolled in something disgusting the other day. Something long-dead-and-disgusting by the smell of it. And then she, too, had to have a shower. So dog solidarity FTW!

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