Going Commando

So, this happened:

And this, my friends, is why I leave the country every December, if it’s humanly possible. “Imagine if we weren’t going on holiday soon!” I said to Terry last night, as we watched a couple of cars get stuck in the small smattering of snow that lay in our street at that point. “Just imagine how much I’d be complaining right now!”

Terry could only nod silently, and turn pale at the very thought of it. And, as you can see from the photo, it’s actually a very modest amount of snow. I mean, it’s not even covering Rubin’s paws, and although it’s deeper on the grass than it was here on the patio, it’s still not very much snow. Nevertheless, it has plunged the country into End-of-the-World style hysteria, the likes of which hasn’t been seen since, oooh, since about April, I think, which was when we last had snow.  I’m puzzled by this, because the thing is, we’ve known the snow was on its way for at least a week. Every night this week, I’ve checked the news before going to bed, and it’s been full of stories about the omgsnow that was going to fall overnight – so much so, in fact, that I have dreamt about snow every single night  (made a change from the crabs, I guess) and have woken up amazed to find that it still wasn’t there.

Not so the schools, airports, and highway maintenance people, though. Nope, despite a week’s worth of warnings about the omgsnow, these agencies were completely unprepared for it: in fact, they could not have been more surprised by it if the snow had fallen in May. (Which actually did happen, now I come to think of it…) So we woke up yesterday morning to find that, while the snow hadn’t quite reached us yet, not far north of here the schools were closed, the airports were closed, the roads were closed, and the news reports were full of slightly dazed looking people walking around going, “OMG CAN YOU FREAKING BELIEVE IT!!! SNOW!!! IN WINTER!!! CAN YOU EVEN?!?!?”

Comment of the day yesterday went to Sky News, which solemnly informed us that “experts” had predicted that “the wintry spell” may last for another ten days, omg! The hell does that mean? The winter’s only going to last for ten days? And what, then it’ll be summer again? Because I may be going out on a limb here, but for my entire life, the “wintry spell” at this time of year normally lasts from November – March (and last year it lasted from October – May). In fact, most people have actually stopped calling it a “wintry spell” and just refer to it as plain old “winter”. But hey, if Sky News have “experts” who say it will only last for ten days this year then that is, indeed, cause for rejoicing.

No one, however, is rejoicing more than Rubin. The title of this post, you see, doesn’t refer to me (and thank God for that, I hear you say!) but to him:

TUFF.

SO. NOT. IMPRESSED.

Don’t worry, I don’t make him keep the hood up. (And he was actually unimpressed purely because as soon as he laid eyes on the jacket, he knew he was going for a walk, and so he didn’t want to sit still and have his photo taken.) In fact, he normally wears this:

I should probably point out here that I’m not a fan of making animals wear clothes just for the sake of it (Well, not unless we’re talking about the Yoda costume we bought him for Halloween that one time): it’s just that Rubin has hair like Velcro, and his belly is close to the ground, so without something to cover that area at this time of year, he tends to return from his walks covered in mud, and leaves, and twigs and all kinds of other nasties, and have to go straight into the bath.

(I should also point out that Terry refuses to be seen with us when Rubin is wearing his little duds. It’s OK, though: Rubin says the feeling is mutual.)

Yesterday, then (also known as Before The Snows Came, Bitter Chill It Was!), I thought I was being ohsoclever by getting Rubin into his little red coat in preparation for his walk. I continued feeling clever even although as soon as I got the coat on him I realised I couldn’t fit his walking harness over the top of it, and would have to put his collar on him instead. And I STILL felt clever even when I couldn’t find his regular collar (red, to match his coat, natch) and had to use the fancypants gold “bling” collar I bought as a joke/because I am stupid one year, and which has a diamante “STUD” charm hanging from it along with some other sundry blingtastic items. (Terry REALLY didn’t want to be seen with us that day, seriously.) In fact, I continued to feel clever right up until about ten minutes into the walk, when it became clear that Rubin had eaten something that disagreed with him, and he had an, er, “accident” which resulted in him coming home and having to go straight into the shower ANYWAY to be disinfected. Then the shower had to be disinfected. Then I had to be disinfected. Which just goes to show that while fine feathers make fine birds, fancy duds don’t necessarily make clean dogs.

And yes, I did just write an entire paragraph about dog poop. Sorry. Just be grateful I didn’t take photos of the aforementioned “accident”, as I’ve seen some potty-training mothers do on Facebook.


22 Comments

  • OMGSNOW! http://www.foreveramber.co.uk/2010/11/go…

  • Tali says:

    Rubin is adorable! I hope he doesn’t mind me saying it. I like the military outfit very much! Have you noticed he closes his eyes when being photographed just like you said you do)))

    I heard from all the dutch fashion bloggers who (surprise surprise) all of them live in Amsterdam, that they had snow. Not here though, 50km from Amsterdam. No signs of snow whatsoever..
    I anxiously wait for snow every autumn and hate it only a month after))

  • katri says:

    Your people are just funny with the stupidest season of the year. There’d better be no OMGSNOW on the 17th of next month when we’ll be flying to England, I’m not prepared to stay in the land of even more snow more than I need to.

    Something to make you feel better about the poop incident: Our cat puked on the middle of the table the other day. Some of it went on a jigsaw puzzle and some on my Hello Kitty headband. Thank god we always eat in front of the tv.

  • Julia M says:

    I always wonder why people get so shocked when there’s snow in winter, as if it’s totally abnormal for Scotland to suffer from adverse weather conditions :s that said, when it started snowing here last night/morning at 1am I squealed and ran outside to jump around in it a bit.

    SO GLAD you didn’t do the potty’training’mother thing :| one of my friends on Facebook does that all the time and it creeps me out, though not as much as the comments she gets from other new mothers about how amazing it is…

    Also, I might have a story that can top your Rubin-pooing-everywhere one. My sister had friends over to sleep last weekend, so they camped out on the sitting room floor. One of them woke up in the middle of the night to find one of the cats vomiting in her hair :|

  • Hayley says:

    Rubin looks like a regular Che Guevara in the camo pictures!

    We had a ton of rain the past few days here, and I believe it turned to snow at one point, but thankfully did not stick. It’s only a matter of time, though…

  • Minka says:

    I live in Latvia and we do have winters. And snow and cold. And it happens every year. But still, whenever the snow appears (usually in November, just like every year) the catastrophe happens. People suddenly are unable to do anything, like drive, for example. It is utterly hilarious… We only have like 4 months of summer, I don’t think you can actually forget there is going to be winter in that little amount of time!

  • Nikki G says:

    Hmm. I was wearing a short sleeved shirt yesterday with no coat. You can keep all the snow in Scotland. I don’t want any my way. Winter has to be the worst season of all. Rubin does look very badass in his camo coat. :-)

  • Katie says:

    Such a precious puppy! :)

  • Roisin says:

    Rubin in the coat is adorable – I’m always so impressed that he loves the camera, my parents’ dog always turns her head away at the last second and it’s so annoying!

    And yes, I know what you mean about the OMGSNOW! I like a bit of snow, and I do like waking up to it and all, but already I’m tired of seeing pictures of it on the news, and the pedant in me is getting hacked off with people calling it the ‘first snow of the year’, like they’ve totally forgotten that it snowed well into Spring this year! But I think maybe I’m grumpy because I don’t have snow-appropriate footwear yet, and I need to get on that because my feet are cold.

    I hope you and Terry really enjoy your holiday, I’m looking forward to seeing all the photos when you get back! And: peep-toe shoes! x

    • Amber says:

      I think this is why I’m so particularly sickened by it – I mean, if it actually WAS the first snow of the year it might have a bit of novelty factor to it, but I just checked my blog archive, and we last had snow here in MAY, so that’s 6 months out of 12 – not exactly unusual, then! And I don’t know why, but even although I work from home and am normally perfectly happy to be in the house all day long, as soon as I know I can’t leave without difficulty (we’ve had much more snow overnight, so the roads are a mess, and our street in basically snowed in) I start to get all panicky and claustrophic and feel like I HAVE to get out of the house rightthisverysecond. Gah. Still, the upside is that even although the weather where we’re going isn’t going to be “hot” exactly, it’ll be such a blessed relief after this that even if it rains for the full holiday, I’ll still feel lucky :)

  • Georgie says:

    Please, my sister and I are babysitting a 3 month old puppy – can we talk poop? In fact, that’s all we talk about – poop, where she does it where she doesnt do it and how long can we handle it before cracking!

  • Sandy says:

    The first pic of Rubin is just so presh!! He looks so smugly happy, bless ‘im! I may even squeeeee at it’s cuteness!

    As for snow….fortunately being on the southest of south coasts and apparently in a big dip, we seem to be missing all the snow completely. My son isn’t too impressed, he keeps asking if we can move north!

  • lila says:

    I didn’t notice it had snowed last night, went out of the house thinking I am sure I cleared the path yesterday how strange, then noticed everyone clearing the main path, then went a little further and noticed the six inches on the road and around my car..and someone trying to drive but failing..then I realised and thought Oh snow..no shopping for me..and back into the house I waded…it is so close to the last time, it’s like deja vu..its a strange feeling…I am determind to dig myself out tomorrow and get out..but it all depends on if the schools are open or closed..

  • Mousy says:

    Rubin looks ADORABLE!!

    Good old snow. It’s been an eventful year for me with snow; in January I experienced hypothermia and now we have about a foot of snow here so I’m absolutely refusing to go out in case it happens again!

  • Kirsty says:

    We are in Scotland, it’s November, frozen water is falling from the sky but you would think it was the apocalypse! I am being driven demented by the hysterical chat here. It’s times like this I’m glad I don’t have Facebook, couldn’t cope with the constant OMGSNOW updates!

  • Megan says:

    It’s the same here in Canada, well Saskatchewan at least. We get snow from October/November until May. It always shocks me how many car accidents there are after the first snow fall of the year. It’s hard to believe that people forget how to drive in the snow in the 5 months between snowfalls. Also, things here don’t really ever close down for snow… I think only once out of my 23 years of life have things shut down because of snow and that was because of a Blizzard. -50 degree weather? No problem, just remember to plug your car in!

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