(Dress: Pinup Couture; Shoes: Faith. I’m not going anywhere so I figured I may as well dress for dinner...)

You see this dress, readers? This dress is a hero.

I ordered it one Monday afternoon, from a company based in LA. It arrived first thing the following Wednesday morning – in fact, it got us out of bed. I like to think that the moment my order was received, the dress jumped off the shelves and took off down the highway, dodging all obstacles in its path and leaping buildings in a single bound in order to get to the airport, where it hopped onto the first available flight to the UK, in order to be with me.

Like I said: a hero.

This dress crossed the United States, and then crossed the Atlantic Ocean, in less than 48 hours. Royal Mail, meanwhile, have had my packages for seven days now, and have been unable to transport them the two miles from their sorting office to my house. Two miles, people. Seven days. What’s more, when I called them this morning they said they have “absolutely no idea” when they’ll be able to deliver these packages, and that they’re not even going to try for the time being.

I’m not getting any of my parcels before I go on holiday, folks. They as good as guaranteed that. Given that many of those parcels were things I’d bought specifically FOR the holiday, that kind of sucks.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re all “Two miles?!” surely you could get off your lazy ass and walk it to collect the stuff if you want it that badly?”

You’re right. I could. And I absolutely would, no problem. But when I presented this idea to the Royal Mail, they stopped me in my tracks. I can’t collect the parcels, they said, because they haven’t even sorted them into areas. “See, we have a few hundred parcels here right now,” said the man I spoke to. “And they’re all jumbled up. We don’t even have them sorted into different areas, so it would take hours to go through them all to find even one of them.”

(I offered to go down and do this myself. They wouldn’t let me. At this point the most frustrating thing isn’t the fact that the mail can’t be delivered: it’s the fact that my stuff is sitting in an office just a couple of miles away, but I can’t get access to it.)

(Can we call them the Royal Fail now, or would that just be too much, do you think?)

I did, however, manage to get two of my parcels today, but only because of my other hero: Terry. These were parcels which were with courier companies in Edinburgh. Somehow they’d both managed to make it all the way up the country, through those great “snowfields of England” as Sky News now persist in calling them, and to the Edinburgh delivery office. After that, though, they apparently dropped off the face of the earth, because not only did those offices not deliver the packages, they didn’t even bother to update the tracking page to tell us they wouldn’t be delivering.  Terry finally managed to get hold of someone on the phone this morning, and was told they wouldn’t even be attempting to come into our town because it was “too snowy”. So he jumped into the car, and drove out there and back himself. Yes, through the OMGSNOW. It took him exactly the same amount of time it always takes to get there. Isn’t that amazing?

So Terry, you’re my hero. You and my green dress.

  1. I just showed Nic this in a hinty way (me: “That’s a nice dress, isn’t it”) and he says you look very glamorous. And you do! I’m so sorry about Royal Fail’s continued lame-assedness, but I hope you and Terry have a lovely date night x

    1. Thanks Nic!

      I totally do the hinting too, although maybe a little more blatantly. It’ll be like:

      Terry: What do you want for dinner?

      Me: The PinUp Couture Joanie dress in green. Wait.. sorry, did you say “dinner”?

  2. That is a nice dress! Lovely colour, and although it’s green, it’s a different shade from your usual, so you won’t have to count it when you worry about the size of your green dress collection. 🙂

    1. Oh, thank you! It was actually really lazy: I just put it in a bun right after drying it and left it up while I was putting my makeup on: when I let it down its all wavy, then I just pull it into a ponytail – voila!

  3. Right. I am buying a pin-up couture dress! I’ve been umming and aahing for ages, but your tales of amazing service have sent me over the edge. That dress is FABULOUS.

    Maybe I’ll wait for the next facebook sale, though…

    1. Thanks, Gem – I was amazed by the service this time, but you do pay for it, and you have to be really careful about customs charges. I was really lucky this time and didn’t have to pay anything, but I’ve ordered from them before and had to pay an extra £20 to get the parcel. I now just assume I’ll be charged and factor it into what I’m willing to pay, so if I escape customs it’s a pleasant surprise. The Facebook sales are fantastic, though 🙂

  4. So, the royal mail can’t deliver because they are stuck inside due to the snow. You’d think they would come up with something to keep them busy whilst they were indoors. If only they had something to do, like sorting out parcels ready for the great defrost maybe? Wouldn’t that be handy!

    1. Exactly! I think they must just have been building snowmen or something… And the thing is, NOT sorting the mail just means they’ll haven even MORE work to do when it finally thaws…

  5. Beautiful dress! I love that neckline – it’s a gorgeous style that unfortunately looks unflattering on many people, I think, but you’re the first that I’ve seen pull it off *so* beautifully! I’m jealous 🙂

    Also? Royal Mail can suck it. (Ever noticed it’s the packages you really want *now* that always end up delayed? Sure, the random HDMI cable shows up in time, but we miss the UPS guy when he’s bringing me a pair of Fluevogs… ::sigh::)

    1. Oh, so true: the business cards I ordered managed to arrive yesterday (Well, Terry managed to pick them up, I mean…) but as for all the stuff I REALLY wanted? Forget it…

  6. I’ve been admiring that dress for ages and it looks fantastic on you, I love the green.

    How did you find the sizing- is it true to size? I’ve tried measuring myself but my bust, hips and waist are all different sizes according to their stupid chart.

    1. Well, the sizing is different to the sizing over here, so I’m npt really sure – their sizes are normally a little big on me because I’m flat chested!

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