Posted on November 16th, just turned up this morning, without so much as an “Oh, hey, sorry we’ve been holding your mail hostage for the past two months!” (And yes, it was posted in Canada, but as soon as it gets to the UK, it goes into the hands of the Royal Fail, who have had it ever since.)

What have Royal Mail been doing? I mean, this parcel was posted two weeks before the snow even started! In NOVEMBER! And you know what else? Royal Fail aren’t even doing Sunday deliveries or anything in our area right now to catch up with the backlog. Here’s a quick multiple choice for you:

You are running a business. You suddenly realise that you are two months behind with your work. Do you:

a) Do something, anything, to try and catch back up again.

b) Do absolutely nothing. Lalalalala! People can just wait for their stuff! Who the hell cares? Ooh, is that a bag of Cheetos?

Guess which option the Fail have apparently gone for?

Still, I’m now wondering if this means there’s hope for the coat I won on eBay in November, which never turned up? Or the … whisper it… ASOS dress I’ve been waiting two weeks for? Please let there be hope. I really liked that coat…

  1. I thought you might enjoy the story that our mailman ran into our mailbox the other day because he tried to drive through the snow between our driveway and our neighbors instead of driving around it, or God forbid, leaving his little truck. My husband watched this happen through the window, and when the guy just drove off without coming to the door or anything, called the post office to complain. NOW we’ve received notice that the post office is HOLDING OUR MAIL because our mailbox is damaged and we must fix it. They’re holding our mail hostage because of damage they themselves did. This is the same mail man who has made us start putting our trashcans a different place so he, again, never has to leave his little truck.

    I wish United States Postal Service rhymed with fail. Or a swearword.

    1. Oh good grief, that’s unbelievable! Although, I really hope no one from the Fail is reading this, or they’ll probably be thinking, “Excellent, why didn’t we think of that? If we damage all their letterboxes, we won’t have to do any delieveries at all!”

      Hmmm, we could call it Utterly S&*$ Postal Service?

  2. It is pathetic, though, isn’t it? You know the saga of my missing post by now and I was galled by the same thing – items posted to me in London (no snow) at the start of December didn’t arrive with me until the 6th of January – they were in the sorting office in Leamington or Coventry for over a month. When things did get moving again I got all manner of other things the day after they were posted, so it seems they focused on the new stuff and just adpoted a ‘meh, we’ll get to it when we get to it’ attitude to the parcels piling up around them. I tweeted them a few times too and while I appreciate that their social media person isn’t responsible and also can’t track items of mail, being told ‘ah, it’ll be with you soon’ made me so angry!

    Also we had no evening deliveries or Sunday deliveries, despite them having been promised in our area.

    On another note, this does raise some hope for your lost coat 🙂

    1. Same here – we’re getting new mail relatively quickly (not from ASOS, though, sadly), although it’s still taking maybe a week or so longer than it would have before the OMGSNOW. I do feel like they’ve just adopted an “Ah, whatevs, we’ll get to it if we have nothing better to do…” attitude to the backlog, though, which is absolutely infuriating! Knowing my luck, if the coat does ever turn up, it’ll appear only once winter is over!

      (What am I saying, winter is NEVER really “over”, is it?)

  3. They have been absolutely useless, even when we had ZERO snow it took them absolutely ages to deliver things. No idea what they were doing with it all. Though ASOS weren’t any better with my order. It took them a week to even send it out!
    I really hope you get your new coat! I really miss getting parcels, makes me sad Christmas is over. I’ll have to order more stuff.

    1. It’s taken them a qeek with me too, and it’s another week since it was despatched. I’m never using the super saver delivery again – it always seems like a good way to save a bit of money, but even when you don’t desperately need the thing, who wants to wait weeks for their item?

      1. I usually go with Super Saver. It was just the email you get when the order is confirmed says ‘there’s no time to cancel because we’re so quick at picking and packing’ or something to that effect. I ordered at a normal time during a normal working day and it took them a week to pick and pack. I’d hardly call that quick. It’s made me think about paying for delivery as well!

  4. We finally got the t-shirts we ordered from America at the start of November, so it’s not only royal fail that’s messing up!

    We’re still waiting for a sweat shirt ordered the same day as the t-shirts (these are my bf’s clothes, not mine) and some teddy bears, ordered as Christmas presents from the UK… These could have been stopped in customs and got stuck there though, Norway has an import barrier of 20£. seems, funnily enough not to have any problems delivering swiftly, as we’ve got all our dvds/blurays reasonably fast. Maybe we should all get our post through Jersey..

  5. I still laugh every time I read your “Royal Fail”!
    I’ve spent the last 2 weekends re-reading the archives and am now composing a very gushy and admiring email to you (well, that one will take a while, since I don’t do gushy too well:) ).

    Am so sorry about your ASOS dress. 2 weeks? This is post-snow time, isn’t it?

    I guess, I just got lucky with my recent order – it arrived within 4 days, and that with international delivery. Although, my current one is stuck god knows where for about a week now.

    1. Wow, that’s amazing – I’m always hugely flattered when people take the time to read the archives 🙂

      And yes, the snow has been gone for a couple of weeks now – the mail just doesn’t seem to be recovering, though.

  6. SEE! That’s why I always end up paying stupid amounts for next day delivery! (Although I really should’ve thought a bit better when ordering 2 cute jumpers from New Look one day then deciding I also wanted the 3rd colour and ordered the following day….that was nearly a tenner on postage! I am such a dolt!)
    I never trust Royal Fail…they are useless and have been for years!

    Actually, I shall be generous and post you the link to the cute jumpers as I think the bluey one might fulfill your nautical and stripey themes!

    1. Lovely top 🙂

      I think I’m going to start using next day, too. At least if it’s with a courier you can track it in some way – with Royal Mail it just feels like pot luck whether it actually shows up or not!

  7. Totally sharing your pain as stupid Royal Fail have spent 3 weeks attempting to redeliver an item and failing everytime (we’re up to 4th time lucky!) despite the fact my office is manned 24hrs a day. Seriously, how can they be so incompetent?!?

  8. Post takes a shockingly long time to actually get out of Canada. I waited 3 months for a package once. The other thing that complicates matters is when customs take it upon themselves to hold onto packages for indefinite periods of time. You and I are probably on some Interpol frock & footwear watch list. We just have to buy more and split their attention.

  9. Our regular mail seems to show up alright here (I’m in Canada), but we have nothing but trouble with packages. They get here, but Canada Post likes to leave packages sitting outside our door, no knock, nothing. Whatever it is that doesn’t fit through the slot gets put outside our door. Meaning anyone could come along and take it, or it could get damaged by accident (there are a lot of kids in our building). When we went on vacation we had to put up a note saying for them to send it to the post office instead of leaving stuff by the door. Luckily we didn’t get any packages while we were away, because I get the feeling our note would have been ignored.

    We have even worse luck with couriers, Fedex, UPS, Puralator whatever it is they can’t manage to find our place, or are simply too lazy to actually come to the door. We live on a major road in a big apartment building. They don’t even try to deliver sometimes, there have been times when we have to go to the depot and they say that they tried to deliver but no one was there, at times when we were specifically at home waiting for the package! *sigh* I can’t even imagine what would happen if it actually snowed a decent amount here, 10cm gets called SNOWMAGGEDON! 😛

  10. I hope your items show up!
    Once, I didn’t receive any mail for almost a month which absolutely baffled me because I have a slight shopping addiction, and since most of the stuff I like comes from other countries it’s a bit of a wait. I sat waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
    The police show up at my door, and I’m like Huh? They start showing me photos of items I’d purchased online (Some of it was slightly embarassing like Girls Aloud eyelashes. A girl’s beauty routine shouldn’t be subject to the police you know?)
    Then they inform me that the Mail man was stealing several packages from people on his delivery route and re-selling the items as he has a slight meth addiction.
    I swear, these nutty things only happen to me!

  11. Point in case: There are no alternatives. As soon as a company is the only one to offer certain goods or services, they can – and will – do whatever they want without the fear of consequences or penalties. Because the people will have to work with them regardless if they want or not. Tell me, who else is going to deliver your letters?
    This totally sucks! (It’s the same here in Germany. Mail and railway are officially private companies now and are no longer owned by the state, but there is nobody to challenge their monopolies, so they just go on like they always did: Unfriendly, slow and expensive.)

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