Frocking Friday # 3: McNautical
(Dress, George at Asda; cardigan, Miss Selfridge; belt, gifted; boots, Dorothy Perkins)
Folks, I have a confession to make, and I’m just going to get it out of the way, so we can all move on with our lives. These photos were not taken today, Friday. They were taken on Wednesday. Yes, I cheated on Friday by frocking with Wednesday instead. And just to make matters worse, rather than repenting of my sins and asking Friday to take me back, I’m planning to do it again, and not just with Wednesday, either. In fact, in the future I may frock with Monday, Tuesday, Thursday: you name it. I am a frocking slut, in other words. (I’ve taken this analogy a bit too far, haven’t I? Is it making anyone else feel a bit uncomfortable?) You see, while I have no problems at all with the wearing of the dresses, Friday is a total bitch of a day in terms of finding time to take photos, upload them, or, in fact, to do much of anything. (For this reason, my Friend Friday posts are normally written on Thursday, and scheduled for Friday. Damn, I’m shattering illusions left right and centre here, aren’t I? Next I’ll be telling you the Easter Bunny isn’t real!*) So, in future, I’ll just wear the dress and take the photo at some point in the preceding week, and post them on Friday. I wear dresses almost every day anyway, so I’m sure it won’t be too much of an issue. And we’re all adults here, after all, aren’t we? Yes?
(That was a really long and boring blog-adminy paragraph, wasn’t it? Sorry. I guess I could’ve just taken the photos whenever I wanted and not told you, but the guilt of the deception would’ve kept me awake at night. That’s probably why MI5 didn’t reply to my letter about becoming a spy that time.)
(Those tights are navy, not black. Just FYI.)
So, on Wednesday I had an appointment with the dentist, and as my dentist is just a couple of miles from this little bit of coastline, I took the opportunity to dress like a sailor for the occasion. That’s why they call me “Amber McNautical” – shish boom!
Actually, I felt pretty stupid wearing a nautical dress around actual boats. It made me feel like the kind of person who would wear a wetsuit to watch a surfing competition on TV, say, and even although I totally am the kind of person who would do that (When I was a child, I entered a crappy little gymkhana that my riding school held. It was a totally low key, for-their-customers-only kind of affair, with maybe five or six competitors, most of whom were about 5 years old, but I insisted on turning up wearing full show jumping regalia, right down to the black coat and white tie. I looked ridiculous, but I felt like THE BOMB, so I guess that’s all that mattered. Also, I totally kicked those toddlers asses at riding, and I’m not even joking.) I did spend a bit of time worrying that there would be some kind of nautical emergency, and people would look to me to solve it. The cry would go up: “Is there a sailor nearby?” Then all eyes would turn to me and I would be forced to admit that I’m not actually a sailor, I just play one on the Internet.
(Not What Sailors Wear)
(Note to self: learn how to do some nautical stuff, like avasting the mainsail or tying knots in things or something, just in case this situation actually arises one day. And it’s always useful to be able to tie knots in things, isn’t it?)
(Also, maybe start referring to people as “me hearties”. That’ll help.)
(“Amber McNautical”. God, I crack myself up sometimes…)
In other dress-related news, my ASOS order finally arrived, having been placed on January 7th and dispatched on the 11th. It’s been sent to my parents’ house though (my fault – I must have had their address saved in my account since December, when I got something shipped to them while I was on holiday) so I haven’t seen it yet. I also received an Adam dress from Shopbop (more on this later – it’s part of a promotion we’re doing with them), which I ordered late on Tuesday night, and which arrived first thing this morning via UPS. If only Royal Fail were taking notes!
Anyway, me hearties, that’s about it for this week. Tune in next Friday for another thrilling installment of Frocking Friday, the blog series where I wear dresses so you don’t have to, although obviously you’re more than welcome to join us if you want to.
* The Easter Bunny is totally real, relax.