Never underestimate the power of The Dark Side

Remember when I said I was done with eBay, for ever and ever and ever, or at least until the next pair of shoes came up that I OMGHADTOHAVE? Yeah, that didn’t work out. I mean, I did stop trying to sell stuff on eBay, because that was just a one-way ticket to Mad Town. I kept on buying, though, and for the most part, that worked out pretty well. I got some bargains. I got some things I’d wanted to buy at the time, but which had sold out. Ebay and I, we were cool.

Then came The Shoes.

(You knew this would be about shoes, didn’t you? Sorry.)

The Shoes are deserving of the capital letters I’ve given them here, because, oh, these shoes. They were by Carvela, and I’d wanted them as soon as they came out, which was about two years ago now. I couldn’t afford them, though, so I didn’t buy them, because as you all know, I am ALL about the being sensible. Yes I am. Shut up.

Then the shoes went on sale. I still didn’t buy them, because by then they were sold out in my size. Instead, I was forced to watch helplessly as my shoe-blogging friends all bought The Shoes and flaunted them right in my very face. The Shoes were even more beautiful in real life. I was sad.

Time passed. I want to be able to write “I forgot about The Shoes,” here, but the thing is: I didn’t. No, I kept on thinking about The Shoes, and how terrible it was that I had not been able to buy them. “One day,” I told myself, “I will find The Shoes on eBay, and the seller will have spelt “Carvela” wrong, so I will get them for a totally knock-down price, and all will be well with the world.” I didn’t really believe it, though. The Shoes were gone forever, and in my heart of hearts, I knew it.

Then last week?

Last week I found The Shoes on eBay. They were brand new. My size. Starting price of £25. No bids. OMFG!

The Shoes would be mine. I knew it. Except… unbenownst to me, I had a mortal enemy. This unknown enemy of mine, she also wanted the shoes. Well, I say that: I’m pretty sure she didn’t give a damn about The Shoes. She just wanted to, like, totally RUIN MY LIFE forever, and force me to walk barefoot. Because eBay gets you like that, doesn’t it? It’s more like, I don’t know, WAR, say, than shopping. And as soon as someone starts bidding on something I want, well, there’s only one way for that to end.

I turn to The Dark Side.

I take it personally, you see, the bidding-against-me. It feels like a personal afront. Especially when the person in question is bidding on a pair of shoes that I have already decided are mine, an entire TWO DAYS BEFORE THE END OF THE AUCTION.

Seriously, who does that? Who bids before the end of the auction? Do you do it? If so: why? Don’t you see how that just pushes the price up (and up, and up, and up…) completely needlessly? Doesn’t it make sense that if all interested parties simply wait until the end of the auction and then bid their maximum, the eventual winner gets to walk away with a bargain, and no one gets goaded into paying more than they really intended to, whipped up into a frenzy by the end-of-auction excitement, and suddenly determined to win those damn shoes AT ALL COSTS?

That’s pretty much what happened, folks. I’m not proud of it. But like I said, Dark Forces were at work that night, and even although Little Miss Two-Days-Before-The-End-of-the-Auction pushed the price up to an amount I might previously have baulked at (Note: I wouldn’t really have, though. Because I did really want those shoes…), I allowed those Dark Forces to take over. “I will win these shoes, even if it costs me every last penny!” I muttered feverishly from the corner of the room, where I was rocking back and forth in an agony of anticipation, awaiting the glorious hour when the auction would end I could finally defeat all of my foes.

And I did.

No one steals shoes from under my nose and gets away from it, I’ll tell you that for nothing.

I’m not going to say the shoes were a bargain, because that would be a complete and utter lie, but they did cost much less than the original retail price, and they are brand spanking new (Yes, the Fail managed to deliver them. It took them longer than expected, obviously, but hats off to them for managing to get SOMETHING right this year. Still hate them, though.), so I’m happy.

I’m trying to avoid eBay for the foreseeable, though, or at least to avoid auctions, because they tend to turn me into a madwoman. This is why I normally only look at Buy It Now items: I absolutely hate finding something I love, and then having to wait ten days and do battle with fifteen other people in order to get it.

In conclusion:

Amber –  1; Little Miss Two-Days-Before-The-End-of-the-Auction = nil

But also:

Amber – nil; The Dark Side: 1

Here’s a video by Terry: