Royal Fail: 100% failure rate in 2011 so far

RantsFeb 21 201130 Comments

Remember last year, when Royal Fail held about 15 of my parcels hostage and refused to allow me to collect them?

And took six weeks to deliver some of them?

And LOST one of them?

I thought it couldn’t get much worse than that. I thought that once the snow melted (Which it did, well over a month ago) and their main excuse for failing so miserably at their one and only function as a business was gone, the Fail would return to their usual, albeit pretty poor, standard of service, and I would have at least SOME hope of being able to send and receive mail.

I was wrong. Oh, was I wrong.

This year I’ve sent a total of two packages through Royal Mail.

They’ve lost both of them.

No, really: they have actually managed to lose every single item of mail I’ve given them this year, and sure, I know it’s only two items, but even so, that’s a 100% failure rate, and coming on top of the December of Disaster we’ve just gone through, during which sending or receiving an item through Royal Mail involved a leap of faith so large that it was like jumping out of a plane without a parachute and just hoping you’d somehow survive, I am BEYOND furious right now. Obviously I can and will claim for compensation for the missing parcels, but I’m led to believe that this can be a lengthy process, with no guarantee of success (and one of the items was sent to the States, which Fail are very unlikely to compensate me for, as they’ll say it might have been lost once it was out of their hands. I’m prepared to concede the possibility of that happening, but let’s face it: given the Fail’s track record here, we don’t need Sherlock Holmes to tell us whodunnit here, do we? Forgive my skepticism, Fail, but given that you’ve failed so badly at everything else recently, why would I think you got it right this time, and whoops, the dog ate your homework! A big boy did it and ran away! It wasn’t yoooooooo!) and meanwhile I’m out of pocket for the items that are lost. Awesome.

What the HELL are Royal Mail actually doing, I wonder? I know they’re not delivering mail – or at least, not MY mail – so seriously: what are they doing? And how is it even legal for them to be doing whatever-the-hell-it-is, given that they describe themselves as a mail delivery company? At this point I actually feel like they’re just getting money for nothing: oh, they say they’ll deliver mail for you, but will they actually do it? Not in my experience. And really, when every single item I send gets lost, and every single item I order takes a very long time to arrive (this year all of our parcel deliveries have been taking much longer than they used to. Up until December, we used to be able to order something online and, if it was  delivered by Fail, it would generally be there within 3 days. Now? At least two weeks. Very occasionally less than that, but for the most part, at least two weeks.), I find myself wondering what point there is of ever using this shoddy excuse for a “service” ever again.

I can’t think of one. I honestly can’t think of a single reason to ever trust Royal Mail again. The fact is, they don’t deliver. Literally. They just take my money and my package and… that’s it. I don’t know what they do with them, but the main point is that they don’t do what I’m paying them to do. It seems to me that sending something through Royal Mail these days is an act of blind faith. They may deliver it, they may not. They won’t care either way, so why take the chance?

Oh yeah: because there’s really not that much of an option, other than paying for courier companies, which could prove expensive. From now on, though, I’m going to be doing everything I possibly can to avoid having to use them for anything, because honestly, it’s just so much easier to simply take my money and set it on fire.

What are you doing with my mail, Fail? I would really, really love to know…