At least I got it out of my system.

Readers, there’s really no easy way to say this. In fact, because I am slightly afraid of you all, and know you’ve always reacted with horror to my “Hey, I could totally get a fringe!” suggestions in the past, I actually wasn’t going to say anything: I thought I’d just avoid posting photos of myself for a few months and no one would be any the wiser. But my clever plan was foiled, and it was foiled by my very own Shoe Challenge, which started last month and which requires all participants to take photos of themselves and post them on the Internet. Now, what kind of asshole comes up with a rule like that, eh? Oh. That would’ve been me. Excellent. I hate myself.

Of course, I could have simply taken advantage of the “you can crop out your head if you want” clause, but I’ve never done that before and people would notice and ask why, so I’m just going to come clean. I’m going to say this very quickly and then I’m going to run away and hide:

ItriedtocutmyownhairandIscreweditupsoIhadtogotothesalonandnowIhaveafringe.

And now, a short intermission, during which you can all shout at me:

<short intermission, shouting >

So, I’m not even going to TRY and defend my latest act of complete and utter idiocy. I did it because I am stupid, and that’s really all there is to be said on the matter. Because I am me, though, and I normally like to say much, much more than is ever necessary about any given subject, here is my explanation:

“I am stupid. Like, ‘If I’d been born a couple of hundred years ago, I probably wouldn’t have survived childhood’ stupid. Seriously.”

Wait, I meant my OTHER explanation:

Well, see, you know. I had been bored with my hair for a while. It wasn’t that it was a bad cut (Although obviously at least one person will email me now to say that yes, it was): it was just that I’d had it since I was about 14, and I was well and truly sick of it. The problem with that, though, was that over the last year or so, my anxiety about having my hair cut has only intensified. I mean, I know I always joke about hating going to the salon, but seriously, folks: I hate going to the salon. So I just stopped going, other than when I felt it had become unavoidable. And even although Iwas bored with my hair, I could see no way of ever changing it, because every time I DID have it cut, I was so afeared of The Return of the Mullet that I would just have it trimmed and then leave looking exactly the same as when I arrived. I knew I was being silly about it. “Amber,” I told myself, “Ain’t no point going through your ENTIRE LIFE with EXACTLY THE SAME HAIRCUT, just because you’re too scared to change it in case you hate it. Even although every time you have changed it, you’ve hated it.” But I WAS too scared. And I DID continue to go through life with exactly the same haircut.


Exactly the same haircut

It was a problem.

But then. Then came The Googling.

“You know,” I thought to myself one day, “I bet it’s not THAT hard to cut your own hair. I bet I could do it if I really wanted to. I will Google it.”

So I did. But rather than Googling something that might have actually helped me, like “THE PERILS OF CUTTING YOUR OWN HAIR”, say, I obviously Googled something like, “Cutting your own hair is easy, yeah?” Because I got a bunch of results that were all about how EASY it was to cut your own hair. How easy? SO easy! “Awesome!” I said. “Pass me the kitchen scissors, Terry!”

OK, I didn’t say that last bit. Instead, I took my search to YouTube. And there I found a bunch of tutorials with titles like, “How to cut your hair yourself – it’s easy, and not in the least bit stupid!” They had all been made by lovely young girls with gorgeous, gorgeous hair. “I cut it myself,” they all said in their videos. “Because it’s easy!”

And that was when I reached for the scissors.

Well, no, not exactly. I actually spent several weeks contemplating the thought, which obviously makes me sound even more stupid, because there was SO MUCH TIME for me to talk myself out of it. (“Why didn’t you mention this plan?” asked Terry, aghast, when I came out of the bedroom looking like I’d just lost a fight with Edward Scissorhands. “Because you would have talked me out of it,” I said, and that right there shows you why I should probably be taken into protective custody for my own good.) Then, on Saturday, I was having dinner at my parents’ house when, following a routine trip to the bathroom, I looked in the mirror above the hand basin and realised that some strands of my hair were much longer than others.

(This was the cut I mentioned here, by the way, so either some strands of my hair grow freakishly faster than others, or I’d been walking about like that for the past four weeks. And the only reason I had THAT cut was because the last time I’d been to that salon, they’d left one side much longer than the other. Yes, I still went back. Because they’re cheap and I’m in and out in ten minutes, which makes me willing to overlook the fact that hairdressing obviously isn’t part of their skill set.)

(This isn’t even the bad bit of the story yet, by the way.)

“Aha!” I thought. “This is just the opportunity I’ve been waiting for! I will use my new found hair-stylin’ skills – thanks, YouTube! – to fix this!”

So, while my parents and Terry were all outside taking photos of the night sky (Don’t ask), I went into the kitchen, snuck the hairdressing scissors out of the drawer (Yes, my parents own hairdressing scissors. Because my parents own EVEYTHING. Seriously, there will probably come a day when I can type the sentence, “.. so I went into the kitchen and snuck my parents’ nuclear warhead out of the drawer…”) and retired with them to the bathroom.

SNIP! Went the scissors. SNIPSNIP! A-SNIPSNIPSNIP! It was, dare I say it, easy. And also oddly satisfying. As I snipped, I felt my powers grow. It was like when Luke Skywalker started learning all those mad Jedi skillz. Seriously, it was JUST LIKE THAT.

“The Force is strong in you, young Padawan,” I told my reflection. “Attempting all kinds of complicated hairdressing feats, soon you will be!”

And sure enough, the hair looked fine. But I had created a monster of a different kind, there in my parents bathroom. You see, up until then, my thoughts about hair cutting had been of the strictly theoretical kind. It was one of those things that are kind of fun to think about, but which you know you’ll never actually DO, like when I imagine myself on X-Factor sometimes. Now, though, things were different. Buoyed by my recent success in the bathroom, my plans started to take on a more concrete form. It was but a matter of time before I put my skills to their true test, and one way or another, I knew my hair would be a-changin’. I just didn’t realise it would be happening this Tuesday.

After all my planning, though, when it did happen, it was very much a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was yesterday morning. I’d just finished blow-drying my hair, and I wasn’t happy with it. The bits at the front were looking a little straggly, and wouldn’t sit right, and all of sudden I knew EXACTLY what to do about it.

“Screw this!” I said, then I turned on my heel, grabbed the scissors, and cut those bad boys right off, without even giving myself a chance to think about it.

Of course, as soon as I saw the worryingly-long strands of hair fall to the floor, I realised what you all realised right at the start of this post: that I had made a monumental mistake. The full weight of the delusion I’d been operating under all came crashing down upon me in that one-split second, and for the first time in weeks, I was able to see clearly: and not just because I’d chopped several inches of my hair off.

So I cut some more, in a bid to even it all up.

WHOOPS.

Only then did I accept defeat and do what I should have done in the first place: I called the salon. And not my local Krappy Kuts, either. I knew this task would be beyond them. No, I called the proper salon, ‘fessed up, and managed to get an appointment with the salon director that afternoon. One hour and a lot of money later, I was no longer looking like a total idiot (Luckily my ruthless attack on my own head had centred solely around those strands at the very front, so the rest of the hair remains intact. And actually, the stylist has managed to give me more or less the cut I was trying to do myself, and which I’d been thinking about getting for months. It’s just a shame I don’t actually like it now I have it, thus proving that I was RIGHT to be scared to make even the smallest change, and that I should never, ever, EVER try to change my hair, no matter how bored with it I get). I WAS still feeling like one, though, obviously.

And that’s how I came to have a sideways fringe, and no money.

The End

(P.S. No, I’m not posting photos. I’m going to be pinning it back until it grows out anyway, and I’ve also been getting some very personal comments about the general state of my face here recently: I can change my hair, but there’s not much I can do about my face, unfortunately, so no photos until it grows out!)

73 Comments

  • Roisin says:

    Lovely face.

    I have always been too scared to attempt cutting my own hair because I only have about 7 hairs, but I also find going to the hairdressers to be terrifying. Mainly because I hate people touching my scalp (it’s really sensitive) and I hate the way they blow dry your hair into a massive BOUF every single time. I’m lucky in that my sister is a hairdresser, and a good one at that, and she is gentle with my scalp and doesn’t make me make small talk either so I usually wait (if I can) til I’m at home and she can do it for free.

    If you ever ARE going to be giving yourself a trim again though (although it sounds a lot like you won’t be) then stay away from the kitchen scissors. You need sharp hairdressing scissors to do it up right, and they’re expensive for that reason.

    I hope when your hair grows out a bit you like it better. And I’ll say it again: LOVELY FACE.

    x

    • Amber says:

      That was actually supposed to be a joke about the kitchen scissors :) But yes, I think I’m going to be leaving the hairdressing to the experts from now on, although my plan for now is to just NEVER have it cut again, EVER and to just let it do whatever it likes from now on. It won’t look good, but neither do any of the cuts I attempt, so I figure it’ll be the lesser of the evils!

      I’m so jealous of you being able to have your sister cut your hair. I used to have mine done by a hairdresser friend, who would come to the house every few weeks and trim it. That was the best time of my hair’s life, but she doesn’t have time for it anymore, unfortunately, hence my hairdressing traumas of the past few years. I keep trying to convince Terry to re-train as a stylist just for me, but for some reason he’s not keen…

      • Roisin says:

        Aaah! Okay my irony-meter must be malfunctioning, sorry :) I am seriously so glad that my sister can cut my hair because I really do find the whole process stressful (even the hair washing bit is horrible, I hate those sinks!) so, in short, I can totally sympathise. I can understand the temptation to just let your hair grow and grow for that reason!

        • Amber says:

          Oh, those sinks! Yesterday was actually the worst sink experience ever – I seriously felt like my neck was about to snap off (I almost always do) – aargh! I also once read what I assume is an urban myth about how sometimes people break their necks on those sinks and don’t realise until they try to stand up. I’m sure that probably isn’t true, but I think about it EVERY time I have my hair washed in a salon, and yesterday I was so uncomfortable I kept panicking that my neck was broken, so I had to keep doing this weird lurch forward just to check it wasn’t. The girl must have thought I was mad, especially given that I’d walked in with my hair at all kinds of weird angles. (Just to make matters worse, this salon always does this really long drawn out head massage, so your head is in the sink for ages. I know I could ask them not to, but I’m too shy to want to be the person who makes a fuss about the sink/massage etc so I always just meekly submit to whatever they want to do…)

          • Roisin says:

            Hey, me too with the sink! Only I’m not usually worrying about breaking my neck, rather I dimly remember something about people having strokes because of the way the sink touched a nerve? Total shit, of course, but I always stress about it. And of course all of the head-touching drives me mad.

            • Amber says:

              Yes, it might have been strokes, now you come to mention it! I know it was something that was omghorrible, and I always, always think of it during the hair washing!

            • Lol, I’m soooo glad it’s not only me who worries about having a stroke whilst having my hair washed in the sink of pain!

              I actually love every other aspect of having my hair done (mostly I think I just like the few hours sat down chatting, drinking coffee and reading magazines!) but the sink freaks me out every time.

  • Fi says:

    Let it settle for a few days and I’m sure you will like it (or get used to it – one or the other!). If you hate the fringe just clip it back. It will grow.
    xx

    • Amber says:

      Yeah, I think once it’s a bit longer it will look OK, and luckily my hair grows quickly, so hopefully I won’t have too long to wait. Having looked at it again in the cold light of day, though (I wrote this post last night), I tihnk pinning it back is going to be the only option for the next few weeks: yesterday I thought it was OK, but this morning, not so much…

  • katri says:

    I’ve had loads of anxiety about my hair and face recently, so I can sympathise. I’ve been cutting my own hair for the past, oh, at least six years now because I don’t really want to pay someone for making me look like a frumpy old lady. I’ll just stay looking boring for now.

    Anyway, as a fellow owner of a fringe I am looking forward to seeing how your hair looks like. Also, you are really, really pretty, and anyone who disagrees is a jealous pillock who probably has a hair full of split ends and goes to Tesco in their pajamas.

    • Amber says:

      Oh, thanks for that. I think people who make personal comments like that aren’t worth bothering about really (as I said, I can’t change my face, so it’s not in any way constructive to tell me it’s ugly), but it’s never nice to read stuff like that about yourself. As for the hair, I’ve decided not to post any photos of it until it grows out – someone has just told me they “didn’t enjoy” the photos of my hair I posted last week on Dollface (before it was cut), so I can only imagine the kind of comments I’d get about this!

      • Kelsey says:

        If they didn’t enjoy it then why are they reading your blog?! No one is forcing them, absolute idiots! You’re beautiful Amber, and I’m sure your fringe looks lovely.

  • Karen says:

    I was hoping you’d post pictures, mainly so I could see if it’s not nearly as bad as you think it is, but I can and will reassure you that anyone who calls you ugly or any other unflattering thing is just blind. Or jealous, like Katri said.

    I hope after a few days, you’ll find a way to style your hair that you end up liking, because really, what you think is more important than what anyone else thinks.

    • Amber says:

      I think I learned my lesson last time I posted photos of a new haircut: not only did some people make very personal observations about my face in general (nothing to do with my hair), I also found it really confusing, because everyone tells you something different. Some people tell you to chop it all off because they don’t think it looks good the way it is, and other people tell you NOT to cut it because they don’t think it would look good short… the only thing I learned was that no matter what I do with it, there will be people who won’t like it (and will want to tell me so), so I think your last statement is very true: as long as the owner of the hair is happy, that’s all you can hope for!

  • Nickinic says:

    Ahh no, as if people are mean to you! Why would they do that? I think your absolutely gorgeous and would kill to look like you, I seriously don’t know what is up with some people, morons!

    About your hair though, I am the complete opposite, I mean I’m not a fan of the hairdressing experience but I often just randomly change my style or colour. It’ like I have no fear! I have naturally mousy blonde hair which is really fine so had a blonde bob for a while before deciding to cut it all off, have it really short and dye it red (I would loooooove to have naturally red hair) but it faded so quickly it wasn’t really a long term option. Now I’m growing it out and have it dyed light brown.

    The way I see it, it’s only hair and you can always change it or wait for it to grow. I think you should consider making the Fob a reality – you looked great on those pics.

    • Amber says:

      Thanks for the reassurance :)

      As for the “fob”, I definitely, definitely wouldn’t ever cut it as short as that: it was traumatic enough getting a fringe, and although it does grow back, it would take me YEARS to grow out something that short, and it’s not like I’d be able to just clip it back if I didn’t like it, the way you can with a fringe! I did actually have my hair bobbed a few times when I was a kid, and it didn’t look anything like that, either: my hair is really fine and absolutely poker straight, so in real life it would just hang limply by my face – in those photos it was tucked into my sweater, which made it look much better! I do actually like it long, though, so I think I’ll just stick with that :)

  • Siel says:

    Amber, you never look bad! I’m sure your new haircut looks very good on you :)

    As long as you don’t change your hair color, it will look good :)

    • Amber says:

      Thanks! I’ve never been remotely tempted to change the colour, thankfully – I can only imagine the trouble I’d get into if I started messing around with hair dye!

  • Carys says:

    If it helps, it usually takes three washes after having a chop for your hair to calm down and look less “chopped” – so huge fingers crossed it will improve!

    I’ve cut my own hair before – you’re not alone in the “er, what did I do that for?!” stakes.

    • Amber says:

      Ah, that’s reassuring – both the “three wash” thing and the fact that I’m not alone! I’m on wash one now, and it’s currently looking even worse than yesterday – I’d totally forgotten that fringes require you to blow-dry your hair, then wet the fringe and blow-dry them again, otherwise they stand up at all kinds of crazy angles! I’ve pinned it back for now. And I’m going hat shopping this weekend.

      • Carys says:

        It really, really will start to settle down, I promise. I remember one hairdresser absolutely decimating my hair once (I essentially was given a mullet. I specifically said “I want to keep the length and style the front”, and yet ended up with sodding business at the front and party at the back) and I have never been more ashamed to leave the house. That was even worse because I PAID someone to do that to me. My money! For a goddamn mullet! Oh, the humanity. So, I wore my hair up. Solidly. Until the 2 inch layers grew out back to my shoulders. I’ve been a bit phobic about the hairdressers since.

        So, two things. You will still be gawjus. And it cannot POSSIBLY look as horrendous as mine did.

        Also – so with you on fringes. Occasionally I get the urge to snip my sideswept barely a fringe thing really short, and then I remember why I don’t. Such a faff!

        I know this really is so obvious – but it will grow out. It will feel like forever at times, but it will xx

        • Amber says:

          Thanks, Carys, I read this comment right before I went to bed last night, and I think it helped stop me lying awake cursing my own stupidity into the small hours again!

          I also think we must have used the same stylist as some point: I’ve also had the “mullet” experience, and, like you, I said absolutely NOTHING to her that could have been interpreted as “cut it into a mullet, please!” It was such an extreme difference, too: it kind of looked OK from the front, but as soon as I turned to the side, it looked like two different hairstyles. For a couple of years after that I’d go to a different stylist every time I had it cut in a bid to find someone I trusted, and they were always absolutely horrified by it. They’d go, “But… WHY? WHY did you have this done?” and I’m sure they didn’t believe me when I told them I’d definitely not asked for it!

  • Mousy says:

    Amber, I think you’re very brave to have a very popular and well known blog where you frequently post photos of yourself. I would be a nervous wreck if I kept getting horrible comments about my appearance. I hope – and I’m sure – that you get far more comments about how beautiful you are. :) Because you are! And even without seeing your new hair cut I know you will still look just as stunning. :)

    • Amber says:

      Thanks, Mousy :) And yes, you’re right, there are many, many more nice people commenting than there are nasty ones, thankfully: I actually think I’m pretty lucky because considering the amount of content I put onto the internet every day I really get very few comments that I consider to be deliberately cruel, so I get off lightly, all things considered. One thing I’ve noticed is that when I do get abusive comments, they all tend to come within a few days of each other for some reason – last week was one of those times!

  • There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother entitled ‘Oh Honey’ because everything the girl says in it just makes people want to say ‘oh honey’ to her.

    Oh Honey!

  • maz aka MallyMon says:

    I don’t know why people are so nasty! Not here, obviously but the people who criticise your appearance elsewhere. There’s nothing at all wrong with you and the critics are obviously jealous. I’ll bet your hair looks just as lovely now as it did before. I’ve cut my own hair in the past too – it just started with a long bit here (snip) and a long bit there (snip) – hmmmm just even it up at this side… phone the hairdresser…The hairdresser didn’t even laugh when I confessed, which made me think that I wasn’t the only person ever to do it. Unless they were just being kind? :)

    • Amber says:

      Haha, the stylist did tell me that it was far from the worst thing he’s ever seen, but yes, like you I wondered if he was just being kind! He did manage to keep a straight face when I unveiled the horror, though, so I was grateful for that :)

  • I did the exact same thing on Christmas Eve a couple of years ago. After years of knowing better than to cut my own hair, I decided I needed bangs and I needed them NOW. So on one of the most picture-filled days of the year, I cut bangs into my head. It was pretty horrible. And they wouldn’t sweep to the side, so they looked a bit like early 90′s bangs.

    You have my complete sympathy.

  • Elisa says:

    About the face. You know what kind of horrible things people say (or actually, write comments in the internet) about supermodels? About the top ten of “Most beautiful people in the world”? They’re basically ripping them apart, judging each part of their physical and mental existence to be so monstrously ugly that they can’t possibly be human. You are definetely beautiful and enviable and I’m sure that the hair can’t be THAT bad. I understand that if you are feeling unsure about it, you don’t want to show it to the whole wide internetz – but if it is just because of the “cyberbullies”, you’re kinda letting them walk over you and win. They don’t deserve to walk on such beautiful pavement.

    • Amber says:

      Oh, it’s not just because of that: I really, really don’t like it and I don’t want to even take photos of it, never mind show them to people! I know the vast, vast majority of people would be absolutely lovely about it, but the fact is that I would still look at the photos and want to cry!

      I know only too well the kind of comments people make about celebrities, unfortunately, because we publish celebrity photos on The Fashion Police, and some of the comments are just unbelievable: in fact, I’ve more or less given up trying to moderate them, because it feels like a losing battle: people will pick holes in absolutely everything. In fact, I was just talking about this to Terry last week, because of a Twitter conversation I happened to read in which some people were being very critical of Courtney Cox’s face. I looked at one of the photos they’d linked to as “evidence” of how bad she apparently looks, and she was absolutely flawless in it: just beautiful. I couldn’t see one single thing wrong with her, and I just thought, “Wow, if that’s what people think about her, imagine what they must think of the rest of us!”

      • Sally says:

        Funny you should say that about the comments on Fashion Police. On reading the comments for Oscar night, I couldn’t believe how many were negative. Who cares if so-and-so doesn’t have a perfectly flat stomach – to me, that girl looked absolutely glowing and happy, and isn’t that what life’s about? (Apologies, little off topic, but the many critical oscar night comments really did take me by surprise.)

        • Amber says:

          I know – the body snarking that goes on really, really depresses me: it’s either, “Oh, she looks fat!” or “She needs to eat a sandwich!” and neither of those comments are appropriate as far as I’m concerned, but there’s no stopping it. I have begged people to retrict their comments to clothes, but it does no good. And a lot of the time people will pick up on stuff that I hadn’t even noticed – we’re talking miniscule “flaws” that just aren’t even worth commenting on, or which I can’t see AT ALL (“There’s a small crease on the left sleeve of her dress, OMG!” “One of her eyes is very slightly smaller than the other – I don’t know how she can go out in public!”.) Very depressing.

          • Alex says:

            The comments on The Fashion Police really boggle my mind, as well. I read them and I’m just like ‘it’s about the clothes! Not the people!’ I remember Julien McDonald did something like that on Project Catwalk and it really irritated me then too. I just don’t understand why people think it’s okay to be horrible about another person! And 99% of the time they’re being horrible about someone who looks great!
            Anyway..just had to join in on that little conversation. I’ve tried cutting my own hair too. In fact I used to regularly cut my fringe because no matter what hairdresser I went to, and no matter what I said they’d cut to half way between hair line and eyebrows. I love getting my hair cut, but I’ve now gotten rid of the fringe because I do not trust a single hairdresser to do it right.

            I’m sure it’s not that bad and you still look amazing as always, but my mum always told me ‘It’s two weeks between a bad haircut and a good one.’ (I complained a lot, can you tell?) And she was right.

  • Zoe says:

    I feel your pain.
    I lopped some bits off my hair after my most recent proper-fringe-trim (it had wonky bits and abormally long bits – no idea how they managed to do that) and now it looks strange and a bit too fringy, if that makes ANY sense at all. I now have a pinned up fringe too! I am pretty sure though that it looks much worse to me than it does anyone else (no one has laughed/cried/pointed/run away), so I am sure that however bad yours looks to you, it will look lovely to everyone else!

    I’m glad other people get stressed going to the hairdresser – my friends think I’m strange. I hate how they spend half an hour drying about 5 strands of hair, burning your ears and putting weirdy potions on your hair that make it stop moving. I ALWAYS go home with a desire to put a bag on my head and don’t feel better until I have washed it again. All that hairdresser chitchat ‘are you going anywhere nice tonight’ talk – NO! Not til I look normal!

    • Amber says:

      I’m exactly the same: I know so many people who look at it as “pampering”, but to me it’s just plain torture. And I also always want to wash it myself, too: I never use product on my hair, so I wish they’d just spend less time on the blow-drying/head massaging/potion-applying bit and then charge a bit less, too…

  • Panthera says:

    You are gorgeous, your face is gorgeous and your hair is gorgeous! I do not understand why people would go on a personal blog and make nasty comments about the person’s physical appearance, I just don’t get it.
    At least they should add a photo of themselves to show how “perfect” they are, and allow you the retaliation..

    I’ve had a fringe all my life, I usually argue with hair dressers over it, since I want it straight instead of curved to “suit my face”, and I’m also one of those who doesn’t think the hair feels or looks right before it has been washed the next day. Hair dressers always make my hair so flat.

    As the others, I’m sure it doesn’t look as bad as you feel it is, but I of course respect and understand your decision to not show off something you feel uncertain about.

    I love, love, love your shoe challenges, look forward to seeing the pictures every week, especially your smile, you seem so genuine and happy on so many of the pictures, and I end up smiling along.
    Please don’t let some stupid people take that away from you!

    • Amber says:

      That’s really sweet of you to say. I will still be doing the Shoe Challenge, and I will be posting photos here too: I just meant I wouldn’t be posting a “here is my new haircut” photo, because to me, that would be like posting a photo of a zit, or the roll of flab on my belly, or something, and inviting people to comment on it :) But I’ll continue to take photos as usual, I’ll just probably have the fringe pinned back or something!

  • Amy says:

    Your face is pretty, you silly goose. Lovely. And I bet your hair is gorgeous, but I know what it’s like to not like a hair cut – I am not good with change. And I’ve been wearing a barrette on one side of my head for weeks because I came home from a haircut, was annoyed that the stylist didn’t cut the front the way I like it and grabbed the kitchen shears. I’ve been telling my husband that (as of late) I just don’t like having my hair in my face, but I think he’s suspicious of the barrette.

    • Amber says:

      Thanks, Amy. I’m also in the barrette brigade today: I’m also thanking the Gods of Fashion for making so many pretty hats available at the moment: I think my “look” is going to revolve heavily around updos and hats for the forseeable future!

  • Jaynie says:

    I am lucky enough to have found a competent hair dresser who I’ve been going to for years, and who knows me well enough to know what changes I might approve of. She does talk a lot, but it’s mostly about how gorgeous I am (which is an overstatement — she’d probably die of joy if someone like you walked in all beautiful-like). The problem is that I don’t actually live in that city any more, so now I only get my hair cut when I’m home (about once every 4 months). It means my bangs are in my eyes by the time I get them trimmed, but it also means I don’t have to endure a scary new hair dresser!

  • Nicola says:

    It probably looks fine! I cut my fringe myself fairly recently and it looked… a little bit wonky. But mainly fine. Just, y’know, wonky. My hairdresser told me that the best way to trim your fringe is get a razor (the electric hair cutting kind) and just butt it up against your forehead, wherever you want the fringe to end. I haven’t tried it yet, but I am going to!

    Massive logic fail to the people saying your face is lame or whatever: if you’re so hideous, why does everyone keep stealing your pictures and claiming that they are of themselves? Is it because you’re actually beautiful and there are people who wish they looked like you, so much so that they’d go to the trouble of lying about it? Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I hope you’re not believing what those shitweasels say.

  • Alexandra says:

    Oh, Amber!
    Just remember, as it grows out- if you grow it out- that you’ll have to keep it nicely layered with regular cuts. I’m busily growing out a lovely fringe that was SPOILED by a hairdresser, and it starts to do funny things around the side of your face.

  • Nikki G says:

    I don’t understand how people can be so mean. You always look very pretty, so anyone that wants to make nasty comments and tell you otherwise can just shove off. :-)
    Anywho, your hair horrors can be remedied with hats and barrettes until it grows out. I cut my own hair in high school once, and I ended up with very short, lopsided bangs. It was awesome. I also once went to a salon with a picture of the color I wanted my hair to be dyed – a honey blonde shade with lighter highlights. I left the salon looking like candy corn. I had platinum blonde ends, a weird light orangish color in the middle, and dark orange roots. To top it all off, the “stylist” missed a spot at the very front of my hairline on my forehead, so it looked like I had a black dot smack dab in the middle of my face. My mom cried when she saw me. It didn’t bother me all that much, but I have dyed my hair green on purpose before, so I’m probably not the best judge. :-D

    • Amber says:

      Oh dear… this is why I’m glad I’ve never been tempted to mess around with colour! If I can get into this much of mess with just a pair of scissors, I hate to think how I’d look after a good colouring session!

  • Sally says:

    I have recently given up blow-drying, straightening with tongs and then curling my hair with an iron every day. I skip the straightening bit and by Day 2 have what I think are lovely ringlet curls. Only today my Mum said “I hope you didn’t go to work looking like that…..” I too hack bits off my hair – it breaks my heart to part with upwards of $150 for a cut/colour – but in the end, Amber, it’s “only” hair. It will grow back. Not tomorrow, but soon! I bet you still look very lovely, and as for those who make personal attacks – that is just cruel and very mean-spirited and totally unwarranted. From what I’ve read on your blogs, you are gorgeous inside and out.

    • Amber says:

      I think the reason I’ve annoyed myself so much with it is because the last time I had the front as short as this it took years for it to get back to “normal”, so while it will grow back, it just can’t happen fast enough for my liking! Sill, I have no one to blame but myself this time, so I’m hoping I’ll have finally learned my lesson from it!

  • Cookie says:

    I doubt there is any style or length of hair that didn’t sit on my head at one point. I had it dyed to everything from blond to brown (no black, though i did have black strands), lengths from boy short to almost elbow length, and i had it permed a few times. I also had bits of it shaven off, and fringes more often than I care to remember. My usual motto is- it’s hair, it’ll grow back!

    But what I really admire is your patience, I can never stop myself from messing with my hair, it’s my favourite playground. Though, the last permanent waves i had done were not… what I expected. Or wanted. Let it just be said- I had nightmares i woke up screaming from which were more pleasant than that thing on my head.
    I finally got rid of it a couple of months ago, and now I just need to manage to leave my hair alone and not mess with it until it grows to a decent length.
    Any advice on how to do that?

    So I feel your pain, and frustration.

    And oh, I let my husband trim my bangs once.. I wore them stubby-short for the next few months. Doesn’t get much worse…

    • Amber says:

      I think it’s just plain old fear that stops me messing with it, really, so I have no advice on that front (other than to maybe get a really bad mullet cut at some point, then you’ll be terrified to touch it for years!) – while I know it does grow back, I also know I’ve just condemned myself to a couple of years at least of “growing out” hair, and I’m always mindful of the fact that I’m not getting any younger, so I’m trying to make the most of long hair while I still can!

      I’m totally intrigued by your mention of permanent waves, though? Is that like a perm? Because I always love the way my hair looks after I’ve had rollers in it, and I keep thinking, “Hmm, I wish I could have it permed into loose waves like this!”

      • Cookie says:

        well, yes, permanent waves is a perm. And i wear rollers often too, and think the same thing.

        So i cheerfully popped over (100 km heh) to my mum’s, who is a hairdresser, and said- dear mum, I really like the way my hair looks after I curl it, and would like it permanent. Now mind, you, mum, I want it done LIGHT and on BIG curlers, yes?
        Yes she said, and then promptly went on to do exactly the opposite.
        The result was a nightmare, naturally. And it only got worse with every wash. The only time it looked good was when it was completely wet, and I could hardly have a watering can on hand all the time when out and about.

        There is another method- the spiral wave, and it can be done with some herbal chemicals, so it’s not so bad on the hair.

        But there are things you need to know: The process is very taxing for your hair, and will damage it. It will also dry it out and make it brittler than it was before (in my extreme case i had little crumbs of hair just flaking and breaking off as I combed it), and as it starts growing out it can look a bit weird. But a lot of people with short hair find it an easy way to get volume and look prettier without too much work. But then again, short hair stays short, and shows much less damage than long one.

        • Moni says:

          My sister is a hairdresser, too, and I’ve also been through this. You simply cannot perm light big curls, it’s impossible. The last perm I had made me look like a poodle and my hair feel like straw. Never again!

          • Sally says:

            My sister came home one day wearing a wooly hat which she absolutely refused to take off. Turns out she’d got a perm and it was a really, really bad one. We both spent about a week alternately laughing and crying over it. Amber, if you get really desperate, there are always hair extensions. You might have to give up buying food for a while though to pay for them!

  • masha says:

    been there done that :D

  • Sarah says:

    Oh my. I hope I didn’t contribute to the haircut bravado.

    I’ve cut a fringe, and it was ok, but I realised I don’t have the patience for the maintenance, which is why I grew it out. Now I have a lovely fake one for the times I neeeeeeeeed a fringe.

    I abolutely don’t believe scissors and long hair play well together, so I avoid hairdressers.

    Amber, do you really believe only young women can keep long hair? I intend to never cut mine short because I need to for “age appropriateness”. If I cut it, it will be my own free choice. I know lots of older women with hair as long as yours and it’s just as glamorous and gorgeous as yours.

    As for the photo meanies…some bitter horrible people are like that. Sadly the opposition of anything/anyone are almost always more vocal and more memorable than the supporters. We love you!

    • Amber says:

      No, I don’t think that at all – I was just speaking about me personally: I think women can and should wear their hair any way they like, at whatever age!

  • Moni says:

    Me too.
    A little more than three years ago I found out that I was perfectly able to cut the hair at the back of my head myself. Why? Because I didn’t was trying to grow a “Rihanna/Victoria Beckham-Long front-short back-bob” (You know what I mean?) and didn’t want to spend money for having somebody cut the back of my head while I waited for the front to grow.
    It worked perfectly until that one evening in January when I was bored (and yes, a bit tired already) and decided that the back of my head was in for a trim again. And it didn’t work that time. I couldn’t get it even in any way. So I tried harder and it looked worse. In the end I was down to the skin in two places. It was sooo horrible!
    First thing the next morning I pulled on a hood, sprinted to the next hairdresser and begged her to help me. Of course she couldn’t repair the “holes”, but at least she managed to make it look not so stupid anymore.
    And no, I’m not afraid to show it. The following picture was taken one month afterwards and you can still see that the hair at the back of my head is way too short. And remember: It was winter then. I was coooooold!
    http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa184/JainaCSolo/Badhair.jpg
    (Remember, people, I did this so you don’t have to… ;) )

    • Amber says:

      Awww! Well, I can’t really see much of the cut from the photo, but I think it’s great that you just said “to hell with it!” and got on with life :) And I really wanted one of those Victoria Beckham bobs, too – I’m really glad I didn’t try it, though, because I can only imagine the horror that would have ensued!

  • link says:

    Anyone who comments negatively on your appearance is just unhappy with themselves, don’t pay any attention to them. you are BEAUTIFUL – your face, your hair, your style. i’m pretty sure you could shave your head and still rock it. even though your hair isn’t how you want it, i’m sure it still looks great :)

  • Jasmine says:

    About the face comments… I think you are absolutely beautiful! Don’t let anyone ever get you down about your appearance. They are just jealous because you are so smart, witty, successful and drop dead gorgeous. Plus you have an amazing husband. Who wouldn’t want to be you?

  • Rebecca says:

    Uh-oh! I’ve got a boyfriend who cut his own hair for years out of fear of salons, and I wasn’t thrilled with them myself until I started working in one (not as a hairdresser, in the retail bit). I’m glad it helped me to get comfortable with hairdressers, because I actually have hair I like now! It’s great.

    I hope you manage to find a stylist you like and trust eventually, it makes a world of difference. I think the best advice I give people about it is to find someone who DEFINITELY understands your hair type- and if that means finding someone with the exact same kind as you, so be it. My mum swears by hers on the grounds that he really GETS her baby fine hair, and I headed straight for the guy at work with the masterfully tamed, monstrously coarse hair. After years of cheap haircuts with people who wouldn’t know naturally curly hair, worn curly, if it formed a makeshift noose and choked them to death, he was a revelation.

    Anyway, I’m glad you didn’t cock it up to the point where a professional couldn’t help. I think that means you did a pretty great job as far as home haircuts go!

    • Amber says:

      Oh, I do have a stylist I trust – the place I had it fixed is one I’ve been to before and everyone there is excellent, I’ve always been happy with the haircuts I’ve had there. But it’s so expensive, and even although they’re all really nice, I still hate having it done: I don’t really like having my head touched, and just the whole process of having it washed (painful!) then parading about in a big gown and towel turban, having to sit and stare at myself in a brightly lit mirror, making small talk and then, the absolute worst bit for me: managing the tip! (It’s not that I resent having to give a tip or anything, I just always manage to do it in this really awkward way, as if I’m doing something illegal…) I know it’s silly, but the whole process is just torture for me, and the really good places always take well over an hour to do my hair, which is a long time to be sitting there when you’re as socially inept as I am!

  • Abha says:

    Hey Amber!!
    It can’t look that bad! I visualised it..it doesn’t seem that bad!! And as to feeling disappointed with haircut..well i had my hair cut to my ears once! Wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted a bob like posh but the hairdresser didn’t tell me I couldn’t ( I keep asking myself..why didn’t I realise it??)Anyway,it grew out to a length that actually suited me and another wonderful hairdresser gave me layers!! (Why don’t you try them??) Anyway…I’m sure it can’t be that bad :) <3

  • daiseedeb says:

    I can’t imagine anyone making off comments about your gorgeous face, and skin and hair. If only we were all so blessed to be as cute as you are! Truly!

    I empathize with the hair dilemma. I have done a few experiments with the cut of my hair over the years due to boredom and have always gone back to the long blonde hair that I was born with (well, not exactly BORN with as my hair was pretty short as tot). ; ) I wear my hair up in a messy bun all the time for 10 years now (as I am 52) and have realized that this is the best compromise for me. You would look divine with short or long hair as you have a beautifully shaped face.

    And, basically, you rawk. Really. You do. ; )

  • Jen says:

    Very slim straighteners are your best friend for fringe woes. I could not live without them. Don’t put them too close to the roots though, or you will get stickiupiness.

  • louise says:

    I was really surprised to hear that you have received such unpleasant criticism with regards to your appearance. I’m sorry that this kind of negativity has come your way -your general attitude simply doesnt encourage such thoughts, and of course, you are undeniably lovely looking, and even a dedicated troll would be hard pushed to find fault with your face.

    The saddest element is having to admit that this is all too common online now, women attacking other women’s appearance, policing each others physical worth. I’m just stunned by the amount of verbal abuse directed at many popular beauty/fashion bloggers in general. The worst offenders are those who harp on about freedom of speech: as if this somehow purifies the damage.

    I also occasionally post self portraits,although most of them are very silly (playing piano in my nightie, etc) or else part of my art work (im an illustrator), and wouldn’t really know what to do if faced with such intense scrutiny of my physical appearance.
    You are dealing with it admirably, however, and i am glad to see that it isn’t going to get in the way of your blogging in general.

    I also accidentally located a disturbing gossip forum last night called ‘gossip gurus’.
    I have very few words for how disgusted i was at the amount of personal attacks aimed at the popular youtube beauty bloggers. This ‘female generated misogyny’ freaks me the hell out.

    • Amber says:

      Thanks, Louise. I’m actually quite lucky because I get very few comments which are outright attacks, but when they do come, they can be a bit of a shock to the system. And I totally agree about the “freedom of speech” thing: just because you CAN say something doesn’t mean you SHOULD, but a lot of people online seem to confuse free speech with the right to be cruel, which is something very different. That, along with “I’m just being honest…” (no, you’re just being a bitch, and trying to make it sound noble) is one of my most hated thing about the internet!

  • Zoe says:

    This? This is why I only trust my hairdresser Jessica with my hair. She’s been cutting my hair since I was maybe twelve and I will. not. let anyone near my hair with scissors. I almost had a heart attack when she switched hair salons and forgot to send us a card telling us where she went and the old salon kept giving me the “oh, you know, I’m not sure. Why don’t you call back tomorrow?” excuse. Thank god for the Googles or I would have gone the Rapunzel route rather than let a stranger cut my hair.

    The last time I did that was when Jess was sick so they let another girl (who was clearly new) cut my hair. Two weeks before my senior photos. She cut it way too short and I looked like a five year old. Thank god they let me retake those photos four months later!

  • Izzy says:

    You mention having the same haircut since you were 14, but it’s not even a hair cut. It’s juat a one length sheet of hair! That’s how little girls wear their hair, not grown women. Get some style.

    • Amber says:

      Hi Andrea/Louisa/Izzy – This is the second comment you’ve left about my awful, awful haircut now: you seem to be quite obsessed with me and my hair! I guess this comment “isn’t nasty” either?

      Also: making up fake names so that you can repeatedly tell me that my hair is ugly makes you seem like a troll. How embarrassing for you not to have realised that I would still be able to see it was you!

    • Kelsey says:

      I would say Amber has plenty of style, she knows the look that suits her best and isn’t influenced by silly fashion fads. I’m sure we would all love to see your hair since you have so much style advice to share?

    • Terry says:

      Posting fake comments while using the same IP, just what age are you?

      Get some class!

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