The Girl In the Yellow Skirt

Yellow 50s skirt and high heels

(Skirt and body, ASOS, shoes, Christian Louboutin)

In an effort to get myself back on the blogging bus, after my recent absences (aside: there should totally BE a “blogging bus”, shouldn’t there? It would be filled with macarons and Instagram photos and red lipstick and it would be all kinds of awesome…), I decided to take part in the IFB Project, in which participants are given a topic to write about this each week, thus removing the pressure for me to actually come up with an idea on my own: yay! This week’s topic? “Make a collage or if possible an outfit post and show us your fall uniform. Tell us why the pieces you chose are ideal and necessary to be part of your uniform.” Well, OK…

As you can see, my Fall uniform this year will be a yellow skirt, off-the-shoulder top and high heels. And now that I’ve named this my “uniform”, I will feel obliged to wear it every single day. They will call me The Girl in the Yellow Skirt. Or possibly, The Girl Whose Shoulders Must Be Really Cold Because Who the Hell Goes Out With Bare Shoulders in October?

OK, so maybe I won’t wear the off-the-shoulder top every day. Not least because this top is actually a bodysuit: remember those? A bodysuit was part of my Spring, Summer, Winter AND Autumn uniform back when I was a teenager, and, naturally, I had hoped never to wear one ever again because of that. This was the only scoop-necked top I could find at the time, though, so I set aside my doubts and bought it, only to discover that, yes, bodysuits ARE every bit as stupidly uncomfortable as I remember them, fancy that! The problem wasn’t actually the “poppers”, either: it was the fact that the damn thing kept tugging the shoulders down, threatening to leave me topless at any given moment. I don’t think that would be ANYONE’S chosen Fall Uniform, do you?

Anyway, now that I’ve totally lowered the tone of this post, back to the subject at hand…

As I think I’ve mentioned once or twice or a million times, I don’t like Fall/Winter fashion, mostly because I’ve never really experienced a proper “Fall”. Here in Scotland, you see, we just go directly from Sort-of-Summer to OMGWINTER, with absolutely nothing in between. This year, the transition has been particularly sharp, so while the rest of you are all crunching through the crisp Autumn leaves, clutching your loved one’s mittened hands and talking excitedly about coats and boots, we here in the frozen north are having to spend forty minutes getting dressed every morning, in a process which involves:

a) Putting together a reasonably stylish outfit

b) Totally ruining said outfit by piling on cardigans, thick tights, scarves, thermals, and anything else we can find which will help keep us warm. Sometimes I get dressed and then just put my dressing gown back on over the top of everything. And sometimes I just don’t bother taking my dressing gown off until Spring comes again.

c) Adding even more layers.

d) And maybe a few more.

So I hate Fall fashion, because it’s just so fussy compared to the “dress + shoes” formula which gets me through summer without even having to think about it. Because of this fiery hatred of the season and its clothes, for most of my life, my Fall Uniform has mostly involved black. Lots and lots of black. I always start off with the best of intentions, but after just a few weeks of winter, the gloom of the season always makes me give up any pretence at “style”, and take refuge in dull colours, and anything that’s warm, regardless of what it looks like.

This year, however, will be different. No, really. This year, my Fall uniform will consist of:

1. Bright pops of colour. (Don’t you just hate it when people say “pops of colour”? I do.) Winter is depressing enough without me dressing like a widow, so I’m bringing sexy colour back. Mostly green, obviously, but also yellow. Maybe even some colourblocking if I’m feeling adventurous.

2. Circle skirts and pencil skirts.
I find skirts a little more versatile than dresses in cold weather, because you can wear thick sweaters with them and still look like you’ve made a bit of an effort. (It was actually quite warm on the day these photos were taken: I’ll obviously exchange the scoop neck for something warmer as the weather gets colder…)

3. Sheer tights

Yes, you read that right. See, of all of the things I hate about winter fashion, tights are the things I hate most. I know most women seem to go crazy over them, but I loathe them: I just find them really uncomfortable, and I think almost all of my outfits look better WITHOUT thick tights, so this winter I’m going to do a “Kate” (Middleton) and wear sheer tights instead. I’m actually wearing nude fishnets in these photos, which I love, because they add texture rather than shine, and they’re warmer than you might think. I’ve also managed not to ladder any of my pairs (yet), despite wearing them fairly frequently, and when you’re as clumsy as I am, that’s saying something.

4. Thick knits

Well, it’s not like I’ll be able to survive without them, is it?

5. Cropped trousers
I’ve been living in cropped trousers, lately: well, they’re the only kind of trousers that actually fit me without having to be altered, so I may as well like them…

And that’s my Fall Uniform. I think we all know I’ll end up in my usual black by the first week in November, though..

Amber and Rubin


What’s your uniform?